Last night was Moo’s school formal.
Of course she looked gorgeous and beautiful and all the things you would expect of a child with my genes of awesome.
Bizarrely, MPS was supplying the doof doof – as per Moo’s request, I believe her exact words were ‘Dad you are totally DJing the formal cause last years dude was a tool’ so I was expecting her to come home with her father.
Boo was pulling an all night rave in his bedroom and Too was chomping down on EasyMac while on MSN when at midnight I finally pulled the plug and went to bed. Wearing a t-shirt and underpants/undies/panties/flossies*as a bit of security in case one of my children wandered in.
Thank fuck I did that.
All of a sudden I was woken by the sound of the telephone. First I tried to answer my glass of water. Then my mobile. Then I realised it was the house phone.
The house phone ringing in the middle of the night when my oldest child and husband were not home.
I. Freaked. The. Fuck. Out.
I sprinted down the hallway to the corded phone, cause who ever knows where the damn cordless one is anyway… I stood at the phone staring at the receiver. Dial tone. But I could hear maniacal laughing. Getting louder and more hysterical.
I looked around trying to focus my eyes and stop my brain from spinning in my head.
As my eyes pulled into focus I saw Moo, A and The Boyfriend standing at our glass panelled front door. The girls doubled over in laughter. As I stood there trying to comprehend the phone ringing, the dial tone, the maniacal laughter, it finally dawned on me that I was standing in the hallway, sans bra in teeny tiny panties/undies/flossies and a tshirt.
That was the longest dawn on earth. Apparently I was standing there slack jawed for a couple of minutes.
I ran to get a robe and then let them in.
The Boyfriend still won’t look me in the eye.
*my nanna used to call them flossies… waaaaaay before underwear was actually made of dental floss.
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Could have been worse.
(And I’m disappointed by the lack of photographic evidence
spotrick’s last blog post..Authors ready to throw the book at online pirates
Oh my gosh. Best laugh I’ve had today. Still can’t stop.
Dana’s last blog post..Insomnia: Pregnancy Edition
Bwahahaha! So glad to get a pretty flamin awesome blog out of you, in spite of the slight puncture to the awesomeness! Glad Moo had a lovely formal- kids seem to see it as a sort of rite of passage thing these days- if they dont have the fancy outfit and the grand drive there and back, they think life is empty forever more!
Will you be wearing the trackie-dacks to bed from now on?? Hehe!
Kay/Grumba/Murf’s last blog post..Giving things up
How embarrassment. For the boyfriend, that is. Hahahahaha.
goatlady’s last blog post..Accept with Udo: not the real deal
Hysterical! I mean, probably not for you at the time. But you can look back and laugh at it now, right? Right?
Suzy’s last blog post..Godspeed, Little One
Hope he didn’t sport wood, but bet he did.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Leftovers from 2007
Hahahah, to Witchpoo’s comment, That would have embarrassed me more than standing there half naked, or “nekkid” as they say in Georgia. At least you have nothing more to hide from him, hahahaha.
Karen’s last blog post..I Had A Little Visitor On The Job Today
Oh dude. You’re going to feel really guilty now if the boyfriend dumps the daughter. Ha!
Karly’s last blog post..Then and Now.
Would (wood) it be too much to hope he had a camera phone? And that they’ll show up on the Internet?
lceel’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Distractions
Hahahahaha! That’s amazing. And that boy knows better than to look the mama of his girl in the face once he’s seen her in her undies…if he does, you give him the glare of death.
Kymlee’s last blog post..OMG! OMG! OMG!
Here’s to you Mrs Robinson…
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Zwanger
Will he not look you in the eye because he is too busy checking out the rest of you?
womb for improvement’s last blog post..Hanging on by a thread
I think I would have shown my passive-aggressive nature and left them to stand outside while I went back to sleep. You are a nicer mom than I am.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Friday SkyWatch ~ #5
And you didn’t leave them outside?
Anyway, thank god you were wearing knickers.
Veronica’s last blog post..Fuck You Cancer
Snirk. and lceel? ahahahhahahahahahahahhaha.
Were those flossies black and lacey?
Ree’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Running on Empty (Inspirationally)
I woulda chucked a blanket out the window and left them to fight over it. meh
Mistress B’s last blog post..Just when it feels like there is some light at the end of the tunnel
…and now he refers to you as “MILF”
Shelli’s last blog post..So Much For Proving I Was Paying Attention In My Racial/Cultural Minorities Class!
LMFAO!!!!
Oh Kelley!
LMAO!
I thought this type of thing only happened to me.
Amanda’s last blog post..Strange things my kids say #1
I feel your pain.
Lisa’s last blog post..Ribs and Raspberries
BEAUTIFUL !!!!!! And did you say “And this is how she will look in 20 years time.”?
Mr Shamrock stroked my mother’s breast once, actually more than once, but neither of them realised, and when they did, it was a widdle….. awkward shall we say. I think Mr S still has nightmares. My mother views him in a differnt light if her smile has anything to go by.
Oh Dear.
Trying hard not to laugh. Can’t do it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Too funny….here’s a good one for ya…try to picture this….when the kids DON’T live in the house I walk around commando…hey, it’s MY HOUSE!!! Anyhow, one day I was in the family room nekid as a j-bird bending over in front of the tv trying to put a DVD in the player…damn tiny buttons and teeny-tiny words you can’t read…so, I’m bending over with the moon over Miami glowing and lord knows what else was viewable and up the steps from the basement all stealth-like comes LILACSPECS…”WHOA” she screams as I continue on my quest to watch a video sans clothing…she starts laughing, I get hysterical and she learns that unless she wants to see her momma in a birthday suit ever again, she best announce her presence prior to her entrance! That was a real KODAK moment! And I’m most definitely NOT a MILF!
hotmamamia’s last blog post..NOLA, yet one more time
That’s why I’m going to keep my kids 7 years old. Nope, no growing up for them. No middle of the night phone calls. No answering my glass of water.
That said, oh my damn god that is the funniest thing ever.
Stimey’s last blog post..He Did It. He Really Did It.
Hehe!! Poor guy, hope he starts talking soon
http://www.scribd.com/doc/15891998/Ninja-Hygiene-Poster
My exes Mother walked in on us having sex. I couldn’t look her in the eye for a week. The bitch NEVER knocked…just snuck around the house all the time like a perve. Lucky you were a little clothed. Lucky you weren’t wearing BLACK SHINEY LATEX…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
Fucking hilarious. (She says as she puts her bra back on before bed.)
Gosh, it must be a bit warmer over there than it is here!
Muahahahahaha! Huzzah. Totally have a list of awkward nudie/semi nudie/caught en flagrant délit by family or friends (usually and awkwardly not my own) that I won’t be sharing here.
My grandmother pulled a similar nuddie run stunt from bathroom to bedroom while my dad was still dating my mum. It ended up wedding speech fodder – beware.
“First I tried to answer my glass of water.” That cracked me up!!!
More than the flossies story because I know how that feels. *shudder*
K8’s last blog post..No pain, no gain
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I am filing this away for when my darling child is of an age to show up with friends in the middle of the night.
*dies!*
And I LOVE that your Nana calls them flossies.
Momisodes’s last blog post..Blindfolded
hahahahhahahhaahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhaha
Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Ob la di, Ob La Da: Rules for my Life