Last night was Moo’s school formal.
Of course she looked gorgeous and beautiful and all the things you would expect of a child with my genes of awesome.
Bizarrely, MPS was supplying the doof doof – as per Moo’s request, I believe her exact words were ‘Dad you are totally DJing the formal cause last years dude was a tool’ so I was expecting her to come home with her father.
Boo was pulling an all night rave in his bedroom and Too was chomping down on EasyMac while on MSN when at midnight I finally pulled the plug and went to bed. Wearing a t-shirt and underpants/undies/panties/flossies*as a bit of security in case one of my children wandered in.
Thank fuck I did that.
All of a sudden I was woken by the sound of the telephone. First I tried to answer my glass of water. Then my mobile. Then I realised it was the house phone.
The house phone ringing in the middle of the night when my oldest child and husband were not home.
I. Freaked. The. Fuck. Out.
I sprinted down the hallway to the corded phone, cause who ever knows where the damn cordless one is anyway… I stood at the phone staring at the receiver. Dial tone. But I could hear maniacal laughing. Getting louder and more hysterical.
I looked around trying to focus my eyes and stop my brain from spinning in my head.
As my eyes pulled into focus I saw Moo, A and The Boyfriend standing at our glass panelled front door. The girls doubled over in laughter. As I stood there trying to comprehend the phone ringing, the dial tone, the maniacal laughter, it finally dawned on me that I was standing in the hallway, sans bra in teeny tiny panties/undies/flossies and a tshirt.
That was the longest dawn on earth. Apparently I was standing there slack jawed for a couple of minutes.
I ran to get a robe and then let them in.
The Boyfriend still won’t look me in the eye.
*my nanna used to call them flossies… waaaaaay before underwear was actually made of dental floss.