Today’s guest biatch is Deb from Deb on the Rocks. She was my very first guest poster and totally rocked the blog with her sexual innuendo and Prisoner (Cell Block H) theme, she had my back when I needed her. If I was ever to bat for the other team Deb would be in the first draft. She is everything I want in a woman: hysterically funny, smart and thinks the sun shines out of my arse. Too bad she is already taken. However, I am trying to convince her to wear a picture of me on a tshirt to BlogHer, or maybe tattoo my face on her boob. Either way, I am easy.
Well that is what the boys tell me anyway… *boom tish*
And now for the awesomeness of my girl Deb. Clicky click biatches, you will LOVE LOVE LOVE her.
An Open Letter to Tourism Australia:
Hey Tourism Australia! I’m writing to you from Sunny Florida, USA.
I’ve been to your site (www.Australia.com — wow, excellent URL!) many times dreaming about a trip to see your world famous barrier reefs, unique wildlife and friendly people. You pose a question on your site so I would like to answer you: yes, in fact, I WOULD like to talk to an Australia Specialist! In fact, I have a brilliant idea for your Australian Specialists!
So I’m writing to pitch an idea to you. I’m sure you track Kelley already because she is one of your natural attractions. (Well, I’m not sure how natural her tits are yet). From reading comments you probably know that a plane full of fantastic American and Canadian blogger bitches adore Kelley. Would do anything to visit her, especially now. Seriously the best of the best, cream of the crop, creamy dreamy smart blogwhores hang out down under Kelley’s blog. She’s got us eating wallaby pudding out of her stilettos. (Do you all eat the wallabies? I said “pudding” to sound British. Did it work?)
The deal is, you put together a junket for us. Disney does this for American bloggers all the time. Get hotel rooms arranged–hell, get the Kiwis to pay for the airfare, spread the costs around a bit.
What the blogwhores will do is Twitter and Flickr and WordPress and Facebook the shit out of the trip, making Australia THE dream destination for at least 400 other jealous bloggers and their families who are all “why don’t you get your ass out of your laptop and get trips like that?”
No, seriously, the PR is VIRAL. It’s the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET put to good, wholesome, Australian use. Sure, you could BUY advertising that you can control, but nothing compares to the impressive, memorable, searchable things that might happen and then be documented for worldwide amusement, like when Zoeyjane bitchslaps me in front of the Sydney Opera House thingy because I’m breaking up a fight between Ree and FADKOG about Kelley’s boobs that Zoeyjane was filming and I’m all “Zoeyjane, I’m so tweeting in a coded way so that everyone knows you are a klepto” and The Bloggess then realizes she can’t find the stuffed Kookaburra she bought in an underground shop and decides Zoeyjane must have stolen it and then Mr. Lady has to break up the next fight and somehow her shirt comes off and I shout at The Diva to take pictures.
That, Tourism Australia, is the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET. A magic that has no pricetag. Fly us out there, we’ll do the rest.
I am available to talk to your Australian Specialist immediately to set up this mo-fo.
P.S. I don’t know where Kelley lives, actually. But is it near where I can take a Walkabout? I hear they are something not to be missed!
P.P.S. Can’t you do something about her cable? That situation is NOT good PR for your country!
P.P.P.S. I absolutely need to go to Kangaroo Island, of course! I love just saying “platypus” and “bandicoot,” –image how much fun it would be to callthem that to their whiskers!
<http://P.P.P.S.Do>P.P.P.S.Do you eat bandicoot and platypus? So many mysteries await me!