Today’s guest biatch is Deb from Deb on the Rocks. She was my very first guest poster and totally rocked the blog with her sexual innuendo and Prisoner (Cell Block H) theme, she had my back when I needed her. If I was ever to bat for the other team Deb would be in the first draft. She is everything I want in a woman: hysterically funny, smart and thinks the sun shines out of my arse. Too bad she is already taken. However, I am trying to convince her to wear a picture of me on a tshirt to BlogHer, or maybe tattoo my face on her boob. Either way, I am easy.
Well that is what the boys tell me anyway… *boom tish*
And now for the awesomeness of my girl Deb. Clicky click biatches, you will LOVE LOVE LOVE her.
An Open Letter to Tourism Australia:
Hey Tourism Australia! I’m writing to you from Sunny Florida, USA.
I’ve been to your site (www.Australia.com – wow, excellent URL!) many times dreaming about a trip to see your world famous barrier reefs, unique wildlife and friendly people. You pose a question on your site so I would like to answer you: yes, in fact, I WOULD like to talk to an Australia Specialist! In fact, I have a brilliant idea for your Australian Specialists!
So I’m writing to pitch an idea to you. I’m sure you track Kelley already because she is one of your natural attractions. (Well, I’m not sure how natural her tits are yet). From reading comments you probably know that a plane full of fantastic American and Canadian blogger bitches adore Kelley. Would do anything to visit her, especially now. Seriously the best of the best, cream of the crop, creamy dreamy smart blogwhores hang out down under Kelley’s blog. She’s got us eating wallaby pudding out of her stilettos. (Do you all eat the wallabies? I said “pudding” to sound British. Did it work?)
The deal is, you put together a junket for us. Disney does this for American bloggers all the time. Get hotel rooms arranged–hell, get the Kiwis to pay for the airfare, spread the costs around a bit.
What the blogwhores will do is Twitter and Flickr and Wordpress and Facebook the shit out of the trip, making Australia THE dream destination for at least 400 other jealous bloggers and their families who are all “why don’t you get your ass out of your laptop and get trips like that?”
No, seriously, the PR is VIRAL. It’s the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET put to good, wholesome, Australian use. Sure, you could BUY advertising that you can control, but nothing compares to the impressive, memorable, searchable things that might happen and then be documented for worldwide amusement, like when Zoeyjane bitchslaps me in front of the Sydney Opera House thingy because I’m breaking up a fight between Ree and FADKOG about Kelley’s boobs that Zoeyjane was filming and I’m all “Zoeyjane, I’m so tweeting in a coded way so that everyone knows you are a klepto” and The Bloggess then realizes she can’t find the stuffed Kookaburra she bought in an underground shop and decides Zoeyjane must have stolen it and then Mr. Lady has to break up the next fight and somehow her shirt comes off and I shout at The Diva to take pictures.
That, Tourism Australia, is the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET. A magic that has no pricetag. Fly us out there, we’ll do the rest.
I am available to talk to your Australian Specialist immediately to set up this mo-fo.
Warmly,
Deb Rox
P.S. I don’t know where Kelley lives, actually. But is it near where I can take a Walkabout? I hear they are something not to be missed!
P.P.S. Can’t you do something about her cable? That situation is NOT good PR for your country!
P.P.P.S. I absolutely need to go to Kangaroo Island, of course! I love just saying “platypus” and “bandicoot,” –image how much fun it would be to callthem that to their whiskers!
<http://P.P.P.S.Do>P.P.P.S.Do you eat bandicoot and platypus? So many mysteries await me!
{ 23 comments }
Dear Ms. Rox,
thank you for your suggestion, we here at Tourism Australia think this is a bonzer idea! Anything that brings more shielas to our country is just beaut. Especially if they like to sit on the beach and watch us blokes surf. Regarding our eating habits, yes, mate, we love a bit of platypus pie, but unfortunately bandicoot tastes like it sounds. Bilby is much better.
We’ll have a gecko at your idea, and let you know.
Ooroo for now,
Bruce
spotrick’s last blog post..Late
OK, forgive me if I’m wrong…but I thought Kiwi was in reference to New Zealanders? Am I just being slow today? I havent had my quota of coffee yet, so that may very well be the case.
Sarah’s last blog post..I’m here to help.
That sounds all fine and dandy but TMWW is a bit put out that she was forgotten. Ahem. I’m sure it was just an oversight. I mean, how could you not invite me along too? An American Sheila ya’ll would have to physically restrain when I accidentally bumped into Simon Baker or Hugh Jackman or found Heath Ledger’s ghost. Would make great blog fodder dontcha think?
TMWW’s last blog post..100th Follower Extravaganza Winners Announced!
Aw, I wanna come on the American Bloggers junket, too!
Tammy’s last blog post..Mommakin Explained
OMG, what a crackup. Deb, you rule! LMAO!
I want o be your tour guide! Im close to the airport and can drive a small bus.
How about it girls?
Can we invite Pioneer Woman as well? We’re gonna need food and photographic evidence!
For that matter, I vote we have BlogHer in Sydney next year! Wait… no.. I’ll be in the US next year!
GoaldeeBug’s last blog post..Graduation
BWAHAHAHA! I don’t think the silly grin left my face through the entire post! I am SOOOO behind this entire effort! ARE YOU HEARING THIS AUSTRALIAN BIG WIGS?! MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Krissa’s last blog post..Other O development Os?
TMWW – I’ll pack you in my suitcase!
Goaldeebug – do we need to bring that other Ree? Okay. But geez. Two Rees? Do you see the problem?
Deb – you are only second to our friend in the awesomeness category. I promise to behave myself (or not – your wish – my command – and all that). I’ll even eat vegemite.
Ree’s last blog post..Grace in Small Things: 22/365
Oh, Tammy and TMWW, you are totally in, you just weren’t in that particular pitch. We’re going rock the junket in the trunket.
I’m not sure about that other Ree, though. Hot Ree’s the only Ree for me. And I want Australian food! Except, it seems, bandicoot. Spotrick recommends the gecko and the platypus pie.
Oroo for now (I’m gonna fit in so well!)
Sheila Deb
Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..Running Away to Join the Cirque
It’s all happening! Already have received an application to tour in some Aussie tourism commune. Please advise, Kel.
http://vantastic.worldnomads.com/?page_id=22
Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..Running Away to Join the Cirque
No fair!…cant we all come? And yuck to eating our critters. Was tricked into eating Kangaroo once. Skitzed the fuck out when I realised what it was. I want to follow crazy Americans around and take photos
shelly’s last blog post..NOW I REMEMBER WHY I STOPPED GETTING DRUNK
And all I want is a little bite of vegemite sandwich. Geesh, some people have all the luck.
This sounds like an interesting scenario.
We’ll have the US contingent visiting here, standing in front of the Sydney Opera House in various states of undress, wondering “where the fuck is Kelley? who knew Australia had more than one city. Damn Aussie tricky, big countried bastards.” Eating the native fauna.
And the Aussie readership, following the US contingent around, admiring the sight of the tourists.
Meanwhile Kelley will be in VICTORIA (if only google would invent some kind of mechanism for tracking Kelley) wondering where the fuck is everybody?
Gorgeous Post. Did you see there was a tourist campaign for Australia where some spunky young thing in a bikini said “where the bloody hell are you?”
Imagine what she would have said if Kelley had got at that copy!
Jodieodie’s last blog post..Monday’s dusting thoughts…
Deb, Deb, Deb, *shakes head*, how can you possibly doubt the authenticity of Kelley’s boobs? There is nothing fake about our Kelley. Nothing.
Yep. Where the bloody hell are you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn0lwGk4u9o
spotrick’s last blog post..Late
Well, crap!!! I guess that makes me chopped liver, eh? (Like the Canadian ‘eh’, eh?) There is a bloke or two that hangs out here, as well, you know. (I said ‘bloke’ to get that Aussie thing going, you know – to fit in) well, not REALLY hanging out – that would be … painful, after a while, sort of, anyway – there ARE guys here, too. Just in case there was any interest on the Aussie distaff side, in Yank (not yanking, just in case) guys. We love Kelley (or Kelley’s boobs, if the truth be told), too.
lceel’s last blog post..Doh!
Having been to the great continent, I can assure you that it is well worth the effort of cajoling Australia tourism into this party. Now, when I was there back in 2002, I didn’t know about our ‘AWESOME ONE’ yet…but, she, too is well worth the trip….with or without this little junket…I AM returning to the land down under very soon and Kelley will be tops on my ‘must see’ list!
hotmamamia’s last blog post..life has been interesting lately
I am sooo into this idea! How can they not sponsor us after reading this letter? Then again, how can they not ban us after reading this letter? Hmmm….
Dingo’s last blog post..Leggo My Ego!
Sign me up, sign me up! I want it all…wallaby pudding, walkabouts…the whole deal! WOOT!
What about Amer-Australians who live in Poland? We’re a contingent that’s always overlooked.
Kylie w warszawie’s last blog post..A Bad, Bad Thing
I want to go now too! Just to listen to all of you keep bantering. This sounds more exciting than the Blogher Chicago gathering that I can’t go to.
Angelina’s last blog post..Late Night Scrawl
Oh Deb!
Can I come? Can I come? My blog may be tame, but you know IRL I can party like the best of them… Oh please add me to your team!
Ok Possums (including Canadians and Men)
before coming make sure you bring a stick…
http://www.smedg.org.au/DougAdamsOnOz.html
Jodieodie’s last blog post..toothpaste cleans silver
Hilarity, Deb!
Almost died when I walked into a country pub in Germany the other day and they had kangaroo on the menu. Sat down to a wholesome feed of tucker that rocked this little aussies world. Would have been waaaaay more awesome if they had bandicoot on the menu though.
This
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MartinFerguson.jpg
horror of horrors, is the Aussieland Minister for Tourism and the man you need to be speaking to (according to Wiki, cos like, yeah, I so know off the top of my head this stuff). Maybe also mention, if you`re chatting to him, he doesn`t still need to be blonde at his age.
estelle’s last blog post..DIY Maintain Your Epic Rivalry
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