You know what confuses the living fuck out of me?
When I get like 4 hits on my blog from a post from another blogger that is like, oooooold (the post not the blogger, and by old I mean not in the last month or so), and when I go over to see WHY someone would be visiting my blog from a post from another blogger that is like, ooooooold, I can see NO GOOD REASON for it.
Like, I HAVEN’T EVEN COMMENTED on that post, or perhaps I did, but it was a lame arsed comment that I lay awake cringing about thinking ‘damn woman that comment sucked. You suck at this internet commenting caper’.
Anyway. It confuses me. And confounds me. And confabulates me.
Like the feedburner fuckups, up and down up and down, losing HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of readers, stoopid head feedburner confabulates me too.
If I knew what confabulates me meant.
And I don’t do dictionary type things where I am.
But I do knock up a fucking AWESOME header for Easter in five minutes that I had spare.
So, my lovelies. WHERE AM I?
A prize for the best/most creative/make me pee AND spurt latte out my nose answer. Or even the correct one.
And Boxboy, you are not allowed to enter cause you already know where I am. Fucking cheater.
Go.
UPDATED TO ADD: There have been aspursions cast about the validity of the the saviour/savior and what is the correct spellage in the header of Easter Awesome. Moo and I discussed this at length, her being a freaking grammar Nazi and English Literature nerd and me having had a stroke and therefore I win at LIFE and we both decided that saviour looked too much like savour and that would be totally creepy. Especially when getting those little bunneh hairs caught between your teeth.
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
Purgatory.
MellissaD’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Surrounded by shoes and lattes where there are also shiny things and no persons wearing Crocs. Your own brand of heaven?
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Drowning More Gracefully
BTW, what’s with the US spelling of savioUr?
/
Moo and I argued about that one! Do we put a U in it? I am a heathen, I know nothing of these things…
Hmm where could you be???
The pub was my first thought … but only ’cause that’s where I wish I was right now. Actually, I don’t really need to be at the pub …I’ll just have me a little glass of cask instead….mmmm
No?
Hmmm ….Colourful new Easter banner … you must be in *church*.
Or
A pet store with lots of *bunnehs* (so jealous – we can’t have bunnehs here in Qld).
Or
All those eggs could mean that you are at a chook farm but that would just be weird to see all those coloured eggs there….unless you are at the chocolate factory and they are cleverly disguised chocolate eggs.
Well, wherever you are I’m hoping you are somewhere nice where smiling MPS and Damn Emos and Boo wait on you hand and foot … and with no white walls, white coats, or *hall ways* (WTF!!!!!!) to be seen.
Amanda’s last blog post..Cancer update – some OK news
I think you are in a nice hotel room, putting your feet up, sipping a cool glass of champagne, eating gormet chocolate …
or you could be at your parents place?
In a garden?? am i close at ALL???
Nuthouse? … hm no white walls, eh. Well, random guess is the beach.
estelle’s last blog post..DIY’s How To Add Some Colour To Your Life
locked in the toilet with some fine wine and good chocolate so that you can escape the damn emo’s and Boo’s teletubbies.
Mistress B’s last blog post..I want to see this movie dammit!!
At a Spa with a service of internet and shoe store with all your fav brands, where they serve chocolate in all forms, just so there is no mistake on not getting the caffeine in your body, with service of wine or any other alcohol you may be craving, and dammit, someone better be serving all this to you, as you have some Spa treatment done.
Shoes are brought to you pair by pair so you can try them all on, at your leisure, while squeezing in a latte here and there as well.
And you are in some awesomely decorated place, that kinda white is not your style.
Fiji.
Although I really enjoyed MellissaD’s comment.
Or the US, which would explain the US spelling.
Kylie’s last blog post..Monsters vs. Hard Rock Cafe
Oh no, wait a mo, you aren’t sitting behind a window looking out onto Amsterdam’s fine red light district are you?
Womb For Improvement’s last blog post..Why I will never understand my husband
If you’re anything like me, you’re trapped in Wal-Mart, but I don’t even know if you have Wal-Marts over there.
Love the banner.
No idea where, but I hope it’s somewhere confabulous!
spotrick’s last blog post..protective headgear for plague
Church?
Haaaaahahahaha. I dunno why I find that so funny. But I do.
Karly’s last blog post..Her Moods Swing Like This Too.
Is this like “Where’s Waldo”? Because if it is, I could SO pick you out in a crowd. You’d be the one smacking around the woman standing next to you for wearing Crocs.
lceel’s last blog post..One Knight’s Story – chap2 Part 3 begins
At a Psych hospital? They don;t have white walls. I know.
Just kidding. You are one of the sanest people I know.
You live in Victoria I think
You have moved in with MOTY!
I win, admit it!
GoaldeeBug’s last blog post..Graduation
You sold the damned emos into white slavery, you locked Boo in his room by placing a sweet potato in his doorway and you chained MPS to the sink.
YOU my lovely are sitting back and nomming chocolate in your favourite shoe shop, spending the proceeds from aforementioned sale.
GoaldeeBug’s last blog post..Graduation
You are here. Well, not here where I’m writing, but there where you’re reading. Which is here for you. Yep. You’re right here. There. Shit.
Tammy’s last blog post..Hello Cleveland!
In my humble opinion GoaldeeBug wins hands down for the best comment so far
Where is box boy? I just want to rough him up ( a little) and find out where you are…
LOL
Best guess since I haven’t a clue where he is
or you are for that matter..
hey wait a minute!
you two didn’t run off to Fiji or something did you???
geeez
Sorrow’s last blog post..Anam cara
In the fridge, hiding behind the milk so you can scare the Damn Emos next time they get something from the fridge.
Barbara’s last blog post..98/365 – Madam Butterfly
I have read this post, like, six times and there are absolutely no clues at all, except for the not having white walls, which could be just about anywhere. Sounds to me like yous is in la la land, lady.
Karen’s last blog post..Check it Out! A Gluten Free Map!
At the Vatican hiding Easter Eggs?
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..My Klutz
You are here! With me! Let’s go get drunk. Then I will make sure you get the best of Texas. (That means I will take you out of Texas and take you somewhere better!)
J’s last blog post..The funny thing is, D would have answered this the same way….
You know we belong together…
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Pond porn
damn, were you swimming at the bottom of my glass again and I accidently swallowed you again? I’m sorry, please forgive me
Alegrya’s last blog post..Ada Lovelace Day
Not too shocking that someone would go back and look at old posts…
I’ve never posted here before. Guess I was waiting for the topic to come up, but I somehow randomly came across your blog and got a mad case of the clicky-clickies. Over the next few days at work and home, I sifted through everything you’d posted. I fell in love with Boo time and again, followed the birthday parties/shit on walls/stims/tragic fires/crazysexy awesomeness/tragic hospitalization and all in between.
Not to make myself seem all superior and whatnot. I’ll often read out an entry to my fiance or he’ll read it and laugh, claiming that I have an Aussie twin – from word use (especially RATFUCK! to situational reactions to coffee obsession and Croc HATE…
Except that your burning lust for shoes translates in me as a sexy obsession with craft supplies. That and, while I do indeed bow to your awesomeness, I’m rather ninja myself.
Anyway. Nice little fucking ramble there and TOTALLY not the way I wanted to emerge from the shadows. Still, I’m sure there are plenty of us commentless lurkers out here, watching your back in secret in the event that you should break a stiletto and stumble.
I.Have.No.Idea. I’m only commenting so I can be one of your Biatches
Hang on, you cant see a yellow brick road, or flying monkeys can you? Is there a dead witch under your house? I have nooo idea why I wrote all that crap. It’s wayyy past my bed time. Cant wait to find out where you are!
shelly’s last blog post..JUST AS I’M THINKING “Hmmm maybe humans aren’t so bad after all” ONE MORE FUCKTARD COMES OUT OF THE WOODWORK
Considering how much time I have spent lately trying to figure out really bizarre referrals just like those you mentioned? I’m going to guess you got sucked write into the interwebz and are now flowing down the wires, here and there, trying to see WHY WHY WHY you had a referral from somewhere weird. And old.
Burgh Baby’s last blog post..For Maddie
In a handbasket. Perfect for Easter time.
Rachael’s last blog post..God at Work
LOL, loving the other comments!
I have no clue where you are!
Jeanette’s last blog post..The last of Soweto
The mothership has finally called you back with its beam, and you are in the Cleansing Bay getting probed.
I got me a Lindt mini egg egg waiting for sunday, despite the holes n my teeth and my hideously expanded waistline.
Jo’s last blog post..bellx1 are my heroes
I’m jusmad to find out bixboy didn’t tell me
Hrumph
And I can’t edit my typing on my damn phone.
I don’t care where you are because you’re not with me.
Angie [a whole lot of nothing]’s last blog post..Purple for Maddie Spohr
Under my couch?
Ree’s last blog post..Just so much lalalalala
You’re at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, being fed delicacies by hot Oompa-Loompas. Too bad about their orange tan; doesn’t do much for the hotness. But the chocolate is fab, the pedicure you’ve received made your eyes roll up in your head, and there are dozens of minions around reveling in your awesomeness. Bliss.
jen’s last blog post..Throwing in the towel
Uuummm – well I must admit I am curious
No white walls???
Nuh – I don’t know
Noblejoker’s last blog post..Lyric Of The Day – “Teach your children well” – Teach Your Children – CSN
The rooms aren’t white.
You don’t do dictionary type things.
You do knock up easter headers, quickly.
BoxBoy knows.
Moo is there, casting aspersions on U.
Hmm.
Not white rooms.
Since I read this – the rooms must be red.
Red room from Jane Eyre.
Ayers Rock.
Uluru.
Without a dictionary this becomes ooh-lah roo.
Fancy kangaroo.
Hopping.
Hopping Mad.
Hot Cross bunny.
Knocked Up easter bunny.
bun in the oven.
cooking bread
bread machine
game machine
XBox
Boxboy
BoxBoy knows
BoxBoy’s nose
The nose that grows
Pinocchio
Where did we find Pinocchio?
According to the experts at Shrek 3, he was last seen far far away.
No. Far too obvious…
He did appear earlier in Shrek – in the swamp.
Therefor you MUST be in a festy swamp somewhere, cavorting with swamp creatures.
And Moo is responsible for this, because she took U away.
Locked in a chocolate factory where you’ve beaten everyone off with a stick to wallow in the vat of melted chocolate…coz it’s just so good for your health, as proven by *scientific studies.
*Studies conducted by every woman over the age of 10 with choice of chocolate or artichokes for breakfast.
Jayne’s last blog post..It was April Tenth, I remember trivial history well, It was so cold that year, It was colder than Hell….
But shouldn’t there be a comma after the savior?
magpie’s last blog post..The Household Guide To Dying
What would a comma add to the meaning that wasn’t already expressed with the new line?
Jodieodie’s comment was awesome!…very clever! lol:-)
shelly’s last blog post..JUST AS I’M THINKING “Hmmm maybe humans aren’t so bad after all” ONE MORE FUCKTARD COMES OUT OF THE WOODWORK
Christ, if I know where you are. Mysteries and being observant are two places where I totally stink.
So… I hope you are in someplace soft and comfy, with wine and a handsome Indian waiter who dispenses yummy wine and chocolate while handing you some fuck-me heels to wear.
Kel’s last blog post..Lighter fare
I have no idea where you are, girl. I don’t even know where the hell I am half the time. And I don’t drink, which is scarier, still.
:::looking around:::
Mommy? It’s scary here. make the crazy caffeine-obsessed Aussie lady who claims to have eaten the Easter Bunny leave me alone…I wanna go home!
::clicking heels::
there’s no place like home..
there’s…
T.
T@SendChocolate’s last blog post..Now Let’s Play: Name That Smell!
c
“Confabulates”? Well, I’m guessing you’re not in a library or any other place with a dictionary. Therefore, by process of elimination, I have deduced you must be in the third stall on the left side of the local department store’s men’s dressing room. Now, I am sure you will tell us why in your next post.
I’m waiting….
Krissa’s last blog post..Cam’s Periodic Table of Typeface and some other just random shit.
…you and I forever and ever…
Oh Gebus Wheezus! Boxboy is being poetic, so it can’t be good. You’re pointing your bottom up in the air and doing weird stuff with frogs in hope of obtaining an Indian waiter prince charming? Fuck me, hooker heels… are you featuring in Boxboy’s weird ass version of a ‘stimulus package’?
anja’s last blog post..Folding down the cage.
Where are you? Looks around. Well, you’re not here. Checks bedroom. Nope, no Kelley. Sneaks open wardrobe where 3 tonnes of Easter Eggs are currently hiding. Whew! All still there. Kelley definitely hasn’t been here.
Summer Bay?
or Cadburys!
Wherever you are I hope it’s awesome
G
xx
myst’s last blog post..A Summary….
You must be on holidays ’cause I’m waiting to find out where you are and you aren’t saying much!
Amanda’s last blog post..Cancer update – some OK news
I’m thinkin you put on your highest bestest most wonderful stilleto heels, grabbed you a can of chocolate syrup and whipped cream and are in the audience of a Thunder Down Under show waiting to lick the chocolate and whipped cream off of those incredibly HOT naked Aussie men that we lust for here in the USA…at least I do every time I go to Vegas…I CANNOT get enough of Thunder Down Under!
hotmamamia’s last blog post..Continued Progress
Hospital? Again?
Ummm….. well I don’t know where you are now, but at the time when you posted this, I think you were at work using coffee bitches computer because you had been trolling for naughty pictures and didn’t want to get busted by using your computer.
Gnometree’s last blog post..Hot Very Cross Buns
I reckon you are… at home, and this is all an elaborate ploy to confuse the shit out of us. Possibly in a room that had white walls, but MPS/Moo/Too/Boo have painted so it doesn’t now.
Or in an incinerator, slowly incinerating the entire worlds supply of uggs and crocs.
Kath’s last blog post..The google game!
You’re in bed. Move over.
witchypoo’s last blog post..How I Killed My Grampie
Ooh…I totally know where you are! You’re at the Playboy Mansion, teaching those biatches who’s boss and how to be all awesome after stroky things. That’s totally where you are.
jen’s last blog post..You crazy insurance company, you
willy wonka’s chocolate factory, of course.
which is next door to a shoe store.
either that, or you’re hiding sweet potatoes with the easter chocolate to keep boo away from it.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Weekly Winners: April 5-11