Ratfucksonofabitch sums it up nicely.
I only have a few minutes before MPS takes away my lifeline and love of my life, Mia my Macbook.
I only have a few minutes before my own nurse Rached comes and pushes and prods and shakes her head and takes my temperature and blood pressure and makes me squeeze her hands and lift my legs and then push my feet against her hands as she shakes her head and takes more notes and sighs and asks me if I have a headache again.
Just like she did 2 hours ago. And the two hours before that. But bettter than before when it was every 30 fucking minutes and I thought my damn head would explode.
I only have a few minutes before I need to try and get some sleep to the dulcet tunes of the snoring lady and the moaning lady and OMG the bed next to me is empty so no doubt I will have another friend to talk to tomorrow who will be all ‘so what is wrong with you’ and then watch their eyes bulge while they mutter ‘but you are so young’ as they drop their gaze like it is a fucking death sentence or something.
Apparently I had a stroke. Only a little one. But a stroke nonetheless.
On Wednesday. While I was out shopping.
I say apparently because they are still trying to rule out everything else. Too is hoping for a tapeworm. In a big jar for the mantle. But the good news is, even though the food smells like regurgitated dog food and tastes worse, I can eat as much jelly as I want.
So there is always that.
Tomorrow the doc has given me a pass to go home and use my own shower and my own toilet and see my kids and maybe get my birthday presents that I bought for myself after my little ‘episode’ and are apparently another symptom of irrationality and lack of impulse control and write a proper blog post about the Best Birthday Ever. Now I must go and wipe up all the sarcasm that has pooled in my lap.
MPS will be bringing my laptop to me sporadically to catch up with emails and comments and I will try and keep you updated with all the excitement and hilarity of having a fucking stroke at 36.
The things I do to entertain you people.