Something that made me laugh till I lost bladder control and I want a pet Russian. If they come in 1 inch tall models, I will take a dozen.

by admin

So I am day 5 of sitting on my fat arse doing fuck all, typing one handed and being generally pissy about the whole damn situation.

Oh, I am a JOY to be around, people.

Everything is pissing me off. Especially punctuation. That shit is fucked up when typing one handed.

I have already been through the cupboards and there is fuck all to eat, which is probably a good thing.

Whine whine whine. Bored bored bored.

I know, I am making myself sick with my patheticness. (Wordpress 2.7 wants me to change patheticness to pethidine. So do I Wordpress 2.7, so do I)

So I turned to my friend Youtube.

Seriously, that cracked me up so much I had to watch it twice. Cause it is that wrong.

And then this had me wanting to dance. Or have a pet Russian. How freaking awesome would it be to have a dozen of these dudes the size of toy soldiers?

I would have to build them a little cage though. You can’t have the little fuckers running around the house getting stepped on. Cause I am pretty sure that flushing dead Russians down the toilet is not very environmentally friendly.

P.S. This afternoon I get to go and see my doc Natasha to find out what is wrong. But I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the chick on there did something to her arm and it wasn’t broken and she had to wear a sling just like me so I am taking that as a sign that exercise causes shoulder damage. Do you think work will allow me to park my car in the lobby from now on? Just as a preventative measure? Oh and will someone please please please come and clean my toilets for me? Cause, DAY-UM.

{ 37 comments }

1 Genaine February 16, 2009 at 12:47 pm: That just cracked my shit up
2 Mistress B February 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm: and the mystery of how you fucked your arm up is solved in that Wii clip! lmfao

Mistress B’s last blog post..Herb Garden
3 Lynn (Walking With Scissors) February 16, 2009 at 2:04 pm: When I first read your title, I thought, “tiny Russians? WTF?” After watching the video, I’ll fight you for them.

Lynn (Walking With Scissors)’s last blog post..Happy Hallmark Card Day!
4 Dingo February 16, 2009 at 2:06 pm: If those Russians will clean up little messes around the house, I’ll take a dozen!

Dingo’s last blog post..My Feet Taste Nasty (Updated!)
5 Jayne February 16, 2009 at 2:33 pm: I got nufin.
You dirty, dirty, dirty gal!

Jayne’s last blog post..Manky Monday Trivial History Done In The Best POSS-i-ble Taste February 16
6 Widdle Shamrock February 16, 2009 at 2:33 pm: OMG Run DMC, I love this song.

Bahahaha at the Wii

Widdle Shamrock’s last blog post..Opening a can of worms
7 Dan February 16, 2009 at 2:34 pm: I like the Russians. Can I have any that escape?

Dan’s last blog post..Ten Honest Things
8 Ali February 16, 2009 at 2:47 pm: You’re hilarious. That first vid cracked me up. Hope your arm doesn’t need to be amputated or anything.
xx

Ali’s last blog post..Getting back to the tiny bities
9 Kylie February 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm: Hate to break it to you, but real Russians don’t have those moves.

And they’d try to take over. Subversively. You’d think they were liberating you from the oppressors of arm pain and then you’d find out it was all part of their plan.

Kylie’s last blog post..Oooh, oooh! Pick Me!
10 river February 16, 2009 at 5:17 pm: You don’t flush dead Russians down the toilet. You bury them in the garden. In the rose bed. Everyone knows that blood and bone is good for roses. Bribe Moo and Too to clean the toilet.
11 Amanda February 16, 2009 at 6:38 pm: Bwahahaha
and my hamstrings hurt from just watching those dancing Russians.

Hope all goes well at the docs this arvo

Amanda’s last blog post..Attention Arachnophobes
12 Andrew Boyd February 16, 2009 at 9:11 pm: Hi Kel,

well, all I can say is that it is a good day when the really gay Russian guys can come out de closet without being sent to Siberia

Best regards, Andrew
13 witchypoo February 16, 2009 at 9:47 pm: Damn. My shoulder has been killing me for ages. I thought I was sleeping on it wrong. I don’t think I want a sling. Painkillers don’t do any good either.

witchypoo’s last blog post..Dirty T Shirt
14 spotrick February 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm: Yep, I was just going to say, although I’ve always admired Cossack dancers for their skillz, they look a little .. *gay* .. in that video. Maybe it’s the way they put their hands on their hips.

Youtube ftw when you’re down.

spotrick’s last blog post..Emma Hack exhibition
15 Kel February 16, 2009 at 11:04 pm: I never used to like Alec Baldwin, but I’ve enjoyed his SNL stuff. That video was hysterical, I hope I didn’t wake anyone around here laughing so loudly.

Have you ever played Wii???

Kel’s last blog post..Rat-a-tat, tat, tat
16 Amber DBTD February 17, 2009 at 12:14 am: I want a pet Russian too! They can live in my rat cage and dominate my furry minions! Because after all, what’s better than a tiny Russian mounted on a rat?

You’ll be pleaded to hear you’re not alone: I have joined you in whiny, ouchy, painkillery bliss after getting launched off my horse and fracturing my pelvis. Hello crutches and Percocet!
17 lceel February 17, 2009 at 12:15 am: As far as that shoulder thing is concerned – maybe you should switch hands once in a while. I’m just sayin’.

lceel’s last blog post..Bloggers well met – Part Deux
18 Burgh Baby February 17, 2009 at 3:57 am: I desperately want SNL to redo that skit with Justin Timberlake instead of Alec Baldwin. Justin would add some ummmhmmmmmm whereas Alec is all umCREEPYblech.

Burgh Baby’s last blog post..Subliminal Messages? Where?
19 perpstu February 17, 2009 at 4:29 am: ROFL! I hope you have the arm mystery figured out soon!

perpstu’s last blog post..A Totally Random Meme
20 Anglophile Football Fanatic February 17, 2009 at 5:05 am: Know what I think? You buy a dozen Russians and you get a free dancing bear.
21 Xbox4NappyRash February 17, 2009 at 5:20 am: I kid you not, SNL have been peeking in my blinds.

I was pulling (pardon the pun) the same gag with a Wii curling game.

Wife not impressed.

You don’t want a pet Russian either, those fuckers bite.

Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Almost perfect
22 Amber DBTD February 17, 2009 at 6:10 am: My rats would keep the Russians in line.
23 Audubon Ron February 17, 2009 at 7:33 am: The UTube SNL thing was removed for some reason. I’m freaking tired of little dancing Russians, they’re everywhere.

Hey, you can’t punctuate, you need one of these? “ – that’ll be $1

How about one of these? ~ (that bitch is all the way up at the top left hand corner of the keyboard, you’ll need your nose for that one. That will be $1.50. You need one of these, @ (op, op, op, op, not so fast your awesomely fuckedupness, PUT YOUR left hand down, smile at me, SMILE at me, now open your mouth real wide, that’ll be $1.95.

Chivalry’s not dead. But it is how should I say, a lit-tle more expensive when you’re all bed ridden.

RIDE THE SHEETS BABEEEE!!! RIDE THEM SHEETS!!!

Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Valentine’s Day Sonnet
24 Krissa February 17, 2009 at 8:31 am: Oh hell yeah! On the Russian thing… not the cleaning the toitties. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah…want to be your best friend and all that happy crap, but, no. Gotta draw a line here.
I’d like a wee little Russian, too. Look to be good for late night boredom. Bet they eat a lot, though. Wonder WHAT they eat…?
25 foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) February 17, 2009 at 8:35 am: How can we hate anyone when our armies are dancing?!
26 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] February 17, 2009 at 8:40 am: I just got that link today for the SNL skit. I LOVES me some Alec Baldwin.
27 Barbara February 17, 2009 at 9:11 am: I need tiny dancing russians. They will make my life complete. Thank you for being bored and finding these – they made my day!

Barbara’s last blog post..47/365 – Funny
28 Barbara February 17, 2009 at 9:11 am: I need tiny dancing russians. They will make my life complete. Thank you for being bored and finding these – they made my day!

Barbara’s last blog post..47/365 – Funny
29 Amber DBTD February 17, 2009 at 10:57 am: I would imagine they live off a hamster water bottle of vodka and some sort of sausage item.
30 Ree February 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm: Do you know with two keystrokes, you can cut/paste “fuck” several times?
31 shelly February 17, 2009 at 3:14 pm: bahahhaaaahhhaaa..!!!! alec baldwin cracked me up…must be twice as funny on pain killers!!!lol
32 shelly February 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm: the russians were awesome!! watching that was my exercise for the week!..
33 NukeDad February 18, 2009 at 12:44 am: Wonder if that’s where the term “Baggin’ some coin” came from? Or maybe I just made it up, who knows? I wouldn’t worry about the toilets too much right now; didn’t I read that Australia wants to charge you now for each flush because of the drought? Might make the front walk at some peoples homes a mine field.
34 Ellie February 18, 2009 at 1:22 am: Oh, poor you. Maybe those tiny Russians can clean your toidys.
35 Karen February 18, 2009 at 3:54 am: Oh dear God, that Russian soldier thing makes my whole body hurt. they can’t possibly be human.

Karen’s last blog post..The Economic Stimulus Package. For Real. Read It If You Want To Argue With Me About It.
36 hotmamamia February 18, 2009 at 4:36 am: OMG…I was hyperventilating at the end of the Russian video…can you imagine those buggers in the bedroom…O.M.G. the stamina……yes, I’ll take a dozen as well….

The first video would no longer open…NBC f***ers put some sort of copyright holdy thing on it!

Hope the arm/shoulder is a little better!

hotmamamia’s last blog post..Ta-ta for now
37 Chookie February 19, 2009 at 9:17 am: I’d better let you know that those guys aren’t exactly Russians; they’re Cossacks. Even better, they’re straight! Now why did I marry a non-dancing Anglo guy again…?

Chookie’s last blog post..Garden Roundup