Yesterday I was all Awesome Mummy and took Moo to the Mecca of stationery, Smiggle.
And I opened my purse and dumped the entire contents on the counter so she could have fucking AWESOME notebooks and pretties for her final year of high school.
Only the day after MPS went to the textbook store and emptied the contents of his wallet and bent over and signed over the deed to my parents house to purchase the textbooks for Moo’s final year of high school and Too’s 3rd last year of highschool.
And then there were all the school bags and essentials like new shoes and purses. For me. Of course.
Before the end of the month I need to pay a butt load of school fees, and buy new uniforms cause these damn kids keep GROWING and all the pens and paper and art supplies and Oh My Fucking God does it never end?
The thing that pisses me off the most is every second year the school changes the text books. So the books that I bought for Moo are now no longer relevant for Too, so I have to go and buy the same fucking text books in the newer version at 100 bucks each.
I mean, someone please explain to me how Chemistry and Biology and MATH for crying out loud, can change so much in a year necessitating in a whole new curriculum and my shoe fund being DECIMATED buying these fucking books that they barely use anyway?
Thank Goddess and Oprah that Too will be using the same calculator that Moo used cause that baby cost 218 dollars.
TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN DOLLARS FOR A CALCULATOR, when they just Google the answer anyway…
Well that is what I tell them to do when they ask me questions.
Cause, dude, I am waaaaaaay too busy being fabulous, fucking around on the internetz, to be worrying about Pysics Psychics Physics finding the spell check on WordPress 2.7 to be doing their damn homework. I didn’t do my own, what makes them think I can do theirs?
Now every available cent is going on the Damn Emos and the Tiny Terrorist to prepare them for the new school year so I don’t get annoying phone calls from the school all Whiney McWhinerson that the kids don’t have the proper shit for them to sit around and bitch to their friends while the teacher surfs the dating sites on her computer.
Ergo no money for shoes chocolate pretty shiny things food.
Technically we do have money for food, but not the expensive gourmet shit that we prefer. We are going to have to go back to the bad old days of when MPS was sick. As God as my witness I will never eat that crap again!
So I thought, fuck this, I am an intelligent woman. I can google. Google cheap meals!
*smacks head repeatedly with the keyboard*
Um. All these chicks are feeding their families on 5 bucks a DAY? What are they? MUTANTS? I am struggling to get the meat portion of the main meal under ten bucks and they are feeding their whole fucking family, with snacks, for the cost of a double shot extra large skinny latte?
Fuck it. If I stop feeding the bastards they may fit into last years uniform and mummy can go and get her fix.