Remember I decreed that this is the year of Fucking Awesome?
So far. So Fucking Awesome.
This week has been a week of firsts.
HUGH-FUCKING-MONGUS firsts.
First first being the first, is this little family went on a holiday.
You are all, meh, we went to Disney land last week. And I would be all I raise your Disney and shit all over it cause we went down the road to the next town and stayed in a motel for the night.
And were home by 11am the next day.
Hang on. Put like that it doesn’t sound so freaking awesome.
But it was. With a butt load of exclamation marks and unicorns shitting chocolate.
Cause we haven’t been on a holiday for years. Because of Boo’s fears and phobias we need to be home doing the same old same old, every freaking night.
Disney don’t sound so freaking fabulous now does it, biatches?
Shut-up.
We stayed in a motel that cost the equivalent of my food budget for a fortnight. We ate nothing but junk food.
We played on the internet, watched TV and did the same old same old. But in a different place.
Fucking Awesome.
Now Boo wants to go on another holiday. And I am jumping out of my fucking skin with excitement.
Cause this time we could go like, an hour away from home or something.
I could go on and on about the awesomeness of the significance of this milestone. Boo squeezed out every single second, sleeping about an hour, and doing my head in with the endless playing of Spongebob on both the DVD players, but I need to move on to the second piece of awesomicity.
It is so a word.
Boo has been eating gluten. And his shit is solidifying. Oh Mah Fucking Gawd, I have never ever been so happy to see a solid (ish) turd floating in the bowl in my life.
I was all ‘HELLO!!! Little turd! I love you little turd. You are totally like my favourite thing in the whole wide world! I would kiss you if you weren’t, well, an almost solid piece of excrement’
Boo eating gluten is like winning the grocery budget lottery. Hoping like fuck that this little experiment yields something that I have been wishing for for over 8 years.
Eating normal foods. How fucking AWESOME would that be?
*bliss*
Well, we will find out when we get the results of the blood test back.
Which brings me to the next bit of awesomicity.
Boo had a blood test. And he fucking rocked it like a rock star. Even when the procedure deviated from the carefully prepared story I wrote in preparation, even when we had to stop and come back again cause he didn’t have enough fluid in his veins, even when the stupid ratfucksonofabitch Emla cream didn’t work and then we had to go over to the other arm anyway…
He fucking ROCKED IT.
And it didn’t take 4 of us to hold him down. And no nurses were knocked out. Or punched. Like last time.
When he was 2.
(BTW the test was for coeliac disease, thyroid function and lead levels. The latter cause Boo has a penchant for eating toys from China. And lead. And coffee tables.)
So to celebrate we took him shopping and bought him a whole punnet of strawberries and a bunch of grapes for his very own.
Cause that is how Boo rolls.
So to recap. Family holiday – rocked. Almost solid turd waving from the bowl – rockage. Rock Star Boo rocking the blood test -freaking awesome.
And my shoes were fucking awesome too.
{ 55 comments }
holy turdlet! am i first???????????
That is super farkin awesome! And we are like what..only 2 weeks into January.
Fingers crossed for good news in the bloodtests.
Yeah! Way to go Boo! Fantastic news, and good luck with the test results
brand new here…but I see you love shoes and frequent use of the f-bomb, so I know I’m going to enjoy checking things out here! Congrats on all of your awesome news…
That is all fucking awesome! Oh, wait, you already said that.
But it totally IS! Happy, happy new year!
This is AWESOME news.
Go BOO!
Kelley, I am so happy for you.
That’s all….
That is so fucking brilliant. I bow to your awesomeness.
I have the Mr Hanky song going through my head, and it is all your fault! Hoping Boo’s diet can move to normal…
That is so great Kells!
Here’s to more holidays with solid shit and no knockouts!
This sounds good. May it slowly develop into further goodness.
Congratulations Boo!!
I hope the blood tests are all normal and Boo can have gluten again.
Absolutely fucking awesome! Way to go Boo!
Fan-freaking-tastic. This is gonna be a fucking awesome year for you, I know it!
Yay for Boo! Yay for you! That’s awesome.
Sounds like an bitchin start! Woo hoo!
My fan-fucking-tas-tic year started with Bronchitis. I think 2009, has been talking with 2008.
Did you ever think before you had kids that you would get excited over poo? Yah, me neither, but here I am at 36 high fiving healthy poo. (my little man had issues with that a while back)
Yah for everything in this post!!!
How can you be that full awesomeness, and still be just one person??
Who needs Disney when you have Turdland right in your own home (sing with me: “It’s a small turd, after all, it’s a small, small turd!”)? Doing the Happy Poo Dance here! Awesomicitatious news!
All that did was bring back memories of #2 son, at age 14, coming out of the bathroom saying, “Dad, come here, you gotta see this!!!” and what he was so proud of was one LARGE one that was so long it had completely filled the bottom of the bowl and looked JUST LIKE one of the soft serve ice creams you get at Dairy Queen.
Congratulations on the milestones! I can certainly appreciate a good, solid turd, so WTG Boo! AND, it sounds like he did better during his blood test than I EVER do with mine.
Also, you saw Unicorns shitting chocolate? I think that’s waaaaay better than farting rainbows.
This officially is the year of fucking awesome.
FUCKING.
Awesome.
I just wanted to type “fucking,” again.
I can totally imagine your joy over seeing a turd floating, although for different reasons. Wonder child, she who has determined that poop only belongs in diapers, dropped the kids in the pool last night. There was dancing. There was toasting. There was whooping and hollering. It was a fiesta.
Let’s fiesta all through 2009, mmkay?
What a dear little turdlet!
Y’all ARE rocking the fucking awesomeness that is 2009.
I know what a bitch gluten can be to a body that can’t tolerate it, so yay Boo!!!!
Woooohoo! Well done Boo for rockin it for yr Mum!
So glad things are going well for ya Kel ((hugs))
Nice one! Long may it continue.
Woohoo turds!!
Hope this year continues in the same vein that it started in!
Amazingly Awesome indeed. It reminds me of an ancient blessing I heard somewhere…
“May all your turds be solid(ish) and your toys lead free” or something like that XOXOXOX
Awesome start to what will surely be the awesomest year that ever awesomed. Um. Awesomely.
Congrats to you both!
Awesome! Boo, you rock mate. Keep it up k?
How awesome, Kelley! I am thrilled for you and Boo.
This year is also being kickass for me! Which is an excellent turn from the way 2008 went.
Congrats on solid poop, only those of us with kiddos on the spectrum can fully appreciate that one.
a punnet! i love you even more.
glad it’s all so damned awesome.
Just don’t tell me you saved the almost-solid turd and had it bronzed as a keep-sake, woman!
May 2009 keep being this awesome for you.
This post made me so happy that I almost shit sprinkles to go with the Unicorn Chocolate-Shit.
Rock on, bitches.
Wow!! How incredibly amazingly fucking wonderful for you, Kelley, and the fam! Hoping that the rest of the year and every single fucking year just gets more and more awesome.
Please send some awesome to fellow blogger The Blogess. She was just diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis & is in an ass-load of pain (but has an adorable new Pug pup!).
So awesome.
I love reading about solid turds… cause they are find to here around THIS place. So, a big freaking BRAVO to you and Boo!!!
Hooooray for poo!
Yay! I so love the solid turds. And to get a holiday! fucking awesome!
I get it. I truly get it!!!!!!!!!!!! (that was 12 BTW)
These small milestones COUNT big time!
Yay!!! Lets hear it for solid-ish turds!
That was pretty amazing!^12
I’ve never been to Disneyland either. Sounds like your trip was much much better anyway, right?
Boo eats coffee tables?? Do they have to be constructed ones? Or can you just go to Ikea every now and then and get him a flat packed one and just hand him the parts?
As for the rest of it….that is all so VERY AWESOME. SO VERY FU****G AWESOME. I’m grinning all over my face here. Here’s to another small holiday soon *raises coffee mug*, cheers.
Wow- that’s progress for Boo! Maybe he’s going to overcome some of his autismy stuff in time- Maria’s daughter (Mel) certainly has. A lot of the kids I used to work with calmed down a lot as they became adults, but not many achieved much between 5 and 20! I guess Boo has all his other troubles to overcome too- like the liquid poo story! It WOULD be AWESOME if he could eat some of the same stuff as the rest of the household. Fingers crossed for the blood test results!! Go Boo’s cells n stuff! The other offspring must be pretty awesome with all the Boo stuff going on around them all the time, too- yayy for the other kids!
Yay for holidays poo and blood tests.
Boo, you rock.
So .. that’s why it’s called glueten!
and no fucking postcard…
Yay! I’m so glad the fucking year of awesome is awesome. And, another holiday?! I think you need to go to the Croc Hunter’s zoo wearing Crocs….
And the experiment is going well, so far, what with the solid shit, so when do the results come back?!
I hope, like nothing else, that the gluten thing works for you and you get solid poops. I canNOT tell you how tired I am of gastro issues around here. Good luck, you wonderful awesomeness!
Dude, I am SO PROUD of Boo, and I don’t even know him. That is awesome, and exciting about your holiday! It sounds like a blast – who cares how far you were, you were SOMEWHERE ELSE! It’s special. I hope your year continues the way it’s been going!
Woohoo WTG Boo!
Fingers crossed with the gluten.
and excellent work with the holiday!
xx
Fantastic! This year is going to hold good things for you.
I am SOOOOOO excited about the holiday you had…OMG I so understand how huge that is….and that Boo wants more…it is like a big beautiful window opening and the whole wide world is out there for you all now….DAYUM!
EVERYTHING is coming up roses, including the poo….I am happy when I have my own wonderful turdlets so I can just imagine the joy you feel with Boo’s production….things can only keep going in this positive AWESOME direction!
And finally, UBER-YAY for the blood test. something which I can identify with….many a nurse was dealt a right cross whenever I had to get a shot as a child…blood test??? Sedate this biatch!
Awesomeness is well on its way for 2009!
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Jeez, I don’t think I’m gonna make it back on your Biatches crack list….I’m trying!
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I haven’t seen a piece of shit that awesome since Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo.
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