It is the afternoon of the first day of the New Year.
The year I dub ‘The Year of Fucking Awesome’
I thought of all the things I could resolve to do this year.
Lose weight. Woke up this morning after 2 weeks of eating and drinking excessively and I have lost 1 & 1/2 kilos.
Fucking Awesome.
Do what we can to help Rudi recover. MPS rang the hospital this morning and he is sitting up and flirting with the nurses.
Fucking Awesome.
Look after myself. Spend some time pampering every day. Woke up this morning checked my hair in the mirror and…
Fucking Awesome.
So instead of resolving to do anything in particular, I will make a promise to you, my internetz, and myself.
This year I resolve to be Fucking Awesome.
It will be difficult. It will be a challenge. I can hear you all saying ‘But Kelley! You are already Fucking Awesome! How on earth can you top that?’
I know peeps, it is pretty damn hard to be more awesome than I already am. But I will rise to the challenge.
For you.
Cause I am that Fucking Awesome.
So my lovelies, what is YOUR New Year Resolution? Tell me in the comments or leave me a link to your post about it.
************************************
For as long as I remember, or can be bothered I will do a tiny recap of each month of ‘The Year of Not So Fucking Awesome’ aka ‘The Year The Ate My Soul’
First up is January. Being the first month and all that…
January was all about arsehats farting in the toilet stalls next to me,
writing a long post about Boo getting lice (W00T! Means he is interacting with the other kids! I know that is deranged) and then concussion from a swing set falling on him and then accidentally deleting the fucker but the comments remain, confusing the shit out of the weird google searches that hit that post constantly,
being sexy and feeling sexy is a state of mind thing,
lots and lots and lots of sleeplessness and fucking whining about it,
trying to break up with my lover,
launching my .com (it is amazing how many hits I get from google for ‘what does my new digs mean’),
MPS letting it slip that he reads my blog, and it is not a housework and recipe collection,
Moo spending the night with her head in a toilet bowl after Vodka and me spending the evening with a hot Indian.
Then the kids returned to school,
and Boo had an accident in the first 2 hours of his first day and I got to meet Fuckknuckle nurse,
then on the final day of the month I sent a child with a broken bone to school with no pain relief while I ate chocolate.
Cause I am a stellar parent.
Wonder what awesomeness I got up to in February?
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
I resolved to kick ass this year and make the whole damn thing about ME!!
I would link to it but I’m lazy as shit. Oh well, here you go.
http://imatroublemaker.blogspot.com
PS. It’s 11:58 here, so you are my last comment of the year. Oh wait, make that 11:59 pm. 🙂
dude, i so knew what your resolution would be before the page even finished loading 😀 😀
happy new year, bitach.
Happy New Year! My resolution is to have a brilliant year. I’ll be 21 in five months and I’m finally going to uni (!!!).
Bahahaha, Fucking Awesome.
<3
Happy New Year to you too – The best to all of us Biatches that is going to make 2009 the year of the awesome. I love how you told us how the next year is going to be! The Best of Awesomeness is just ahead.
Happy New Year to you also 🙂
My new years resolution is to settle into a routine that puts less stress on me in 2009.
I’ve come to the realization I’m slightly depressed and hiding away from real life by spending all my free time and much of my not free time surfing the net.
So I started to keep track of what I’m doing each day – routine, fitness, diet to help me see if there are any patterns to my ups and downs.
I am sure that you will rise to the challenge of being even more fucking awesome this year.
I blogged about my New Year’s Resolutions on my blog at http://rainbowofchaos.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/new-years-resolutions/
And already I have failed #2 which is to get fit and improve my health. It is looking more and more likely that I have the chicken pox and since I have had them already once, well something is not right. Also my WiiFit is sitting unloved today. Must resolve to do better tomorrow.
I resolve to have an IKEAfied laundry – Antonius, my friend, is teh awesomest Mr Ikea man that ever lived.
All the best for 2009!
An even more awesome Kelley? I’d like to see that.
And just how FA was it that you recapped your January08 for me, cause I’d yet to discover your awesomeness back then.
May you be Fucking Awesome in 2009 – with killer heels.
(I did my new years post: http://corymbia.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/happy-2009/)
That has to be the BEST resolution I’ve read for 2009!! You go girl 🙂 We all know you’re awesome anyway 😉
Being the awesomest of the awesome on the internet already, I’m not sure how your going to top that, but I’m keen to find out.
I don’t do new year resolutions, not since about 10 years ago when I resolved to never make another resolution.
My resolution is for 2009 to be 1080p- total high definition! http://www.fifikins.net/index.php/2009/01/01/640-x-480/
This year can only rock too! No more sucky shitty years!
Can’t wait for a year of continued awesomeness from you. I’ll draw inspiration here as I’ll need it going forward. My December (well, except for my baby turning 4, but then that’s happy/sad in itself) was an all time shitty low.
For me, I resolve to be stronger in 2009, emotionally and physically, as I already know it’s gonna be a tough one. Oh, and if I can sign up for that all you can eat, lose a kilo and a half diet, that would be great :). If I could grow some boobs too, that would be even sweeter.
Happy New Year, Kelley. You are fucking awesome.
If you can be more awesome than you are now, I’ll have to fly down and see it to believe it. You’ve already seen my resolutions.
Happy New Year, babe! May this year bring you and yours nothing but happiness. (That’s as good as a blessing from the Pope, by the way.)
I don’t think there is just awesome for you. You’re beyond that. The bar starts at awesomely awesome.
I wish I could talk about my January 08 but I would have to name names and then people would go to jail – for like, forever.
Kilo? What’s a kilo. I don’t know this kilo. No. NO. NOOO. Don’t make me…
…resolutions. I resolve to be more, more, how do I say, more of what it is I need to be. Yeah, that’s it.
Thanks for asking. I hadn’t given it much thought until then.
http://pessimisticbitch-mamahansen.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-brand-new-year.html
New Years Resolutions.
I vow to take a plane to you and ask for your hand in marriage.
That, or continue on my path to my own Fucking Awesome by reading more of your posts.
I did not start reading your blog until sometime later in the year, so I missed the post about sending Boo to school with a broken foot. I did that once, sent my son off to school with a broken foot.
It was on a day when I had a day off from work, and it seemed like my kids always knew when I had a day off, and managed to find a way to stay off from school so I never had a day of peace to myself. So that day, when he came into my room, and stuck his size 13 foot in my face and said “Mom, I think I broke my foot” I said to him, “Get yourself fucking dressed and go to fucking school”
When he came home from school, his foot was as big as a football. After dinner, I took him to the ER, where they took x-rays, and yep, his foot was broken. He had a cast for 8 weeks!
But, really, I understand. I do hope 2009 is the awesome-est of awesome for you.
You are fucking awesome! I have dubbed myself fucking fabulous today in my own blog and plan on getting the bedazzled t-shirt to prove it!
Happy 2009!
You are always Fucking Awesome! Happy New Year!
Here’s to fucking awesome, then!
You are so Fucken Awesome, Spiderbait wrote a song about you:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=dwzWajyWzsw
I totally had flashbacks to Team America and all I could think when you said, “Fucking Awesome!” was “Fuck Yeah!” and then I crossed my legs because I also thought of puppet porn. You sure know how to turn me onto the naughty thoughts, Kel.
AND, YOUR DARN BLOG JUST GOT MAD AT ME FOR POSTING THE WORD POR*N. ME! I’m the innocent Catholic school girl in plaid uniforms, for Geez sake!
Awesome resolution, Oh Awesome-est One!
I plan to do what I do every year,
PinkyKelley – take over the world of course!Had to refresh my memory of Fuck-knuckle nurse. Hope to goodness someone gave her a large dose of Metamucil for Xmas coz she’s obviously full of shit 😛
Fuckin’ Awesome. mwah!
There is NO EFFING WAY you could be more fabulous and awesome than you already are.
However, now that I’ve triple dog dared you to try, I’m excited for you to prove me wrong. And if you can’t, then you owe me something, and I haven’t decided what. I’ll let you know if you fail to meet my challenge.
My New Year’s blog post?
http://www.perilouslyprecocious.com/predictions-09/
Best wishes for a fab year and I hope you had a lovely anniversary! But I have a question. When you are being nice, will that make you sweet FA?
totally fucking awesome. totally. awesome.
(i think i lost a few brain cells in the transition from 2008 to 2009 … which is why my vocabulary is now totally fucking awesome.)
I’m trying to figure out a way to segue into “you’re fucking me? I thought for sure I’d notice” but I can’t figure it out. That said, can you rub some awesome on me? I’m currently shooting for mediocre. that would be quite the improvement.
Happy New Year. I missed you something fierce.
If you can possibly be more fucking awesome than you already are, woman, I will be seriously impressed!
Love ya, missed ya. Happy ’09 awesome biatch!
You so are fucking awesome, so I can’t wait to see the even more fucking awesome version of Kelley!
My New Years resolutions is to kick arse and take names … but only cuz it will take me a small step closer to the awesomeness of Kelley.
If only I had your shoes, then kicking arse would be much more fun.
I don’t do resolutions since I firmly believe they are made only to be broken. And, OH how I would break them. Instantly.
Here’s to hoping 2009 is hella better than 2008 for The Awesome One.
Oh, that is SO last year. I know what’s going on here. You’re dry. You haven’t got a new one and the only reason you posted all of that ‘last year’ stuff is to prevent yourself from having to post pictures of yourself nekkid.
Go for the pictures.
Fucking Awesome: sounds perfectly attainable.
Happy New Year!
You took the words right out of my mouth – HOW could you be any more fucking awesome??? The only thing I can think of is being dipped in chocolate, but then the damn emos would be all following you around and licking you and shit.
My resolution? I know it sounds all sappy and gay but it is to tell the people that mean the most to me ow much I love them every time I see them cause you never know when it will be the last time you see them! I’m making myself believe my Dad could really hear me while he was in a coma. =(
Oh, and I have one more! I plan on taking my night time sleepy happy pills AFTER I am done doing important stuff, like chatting online and ordering pretty shiny things.
Oh, Goddess of the Net….how swollen is your awesome head from all the bedazzling loveness sent your way in these comments!? I can’t wait to see how you will be more awesome than you already are…
Resolution? Just stay sane…if I can do that, everything else will fall into place, eventually!
Oh, lie…..I resolve to stay #1 on your peeps list…I’m working my way back up…..damn, you’ll get sick of me OR lurve me to death!!!
…Visiting your blogger friends more…fucking awsome…
MPS reads your blog? Can’t you put a spousal block on him or something. The newrve…
It’s 2009. I’m not resolving to do anything until I get my f*cking jetpack.
I wanna be awesome with you…PLEASE????
I just wanted to see if porn really upset your blog. Bahahahaha, it does. The crazy old woman inside your blog doesn’t like pussy or porn and allows cocksucker. I’m so tempted to test some other doozies, but I shall behave.
Happy New Year.
Her magnificence and awesome one dared me to do it. Email sent to moi:
“Go for your life babe. It cracks me up. I have no idea why it is so prudish.
Make the bitch blush.”
Make the bitch blush. Good grief, I think I got a little damp thinking about that. Well, here goes. We shall start with George Carlin’s seven deadly words.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. Well blind me with a red hot poker, all of those go through.
How about piss flaps? Yep, all good. I’m nearly to the point of pissing myself laughing, here. I’ve been given permission to make a blog blush and the only things that upset it is pussy and porn.
Farkin’ beautiful, I tells ya.
Happy New Year!
Can I steal your resolution? I want to be fucking awesome this year too … and I want to graduate, choose a grad school or find a job, and live happily (and gorgeously) ever after.
How fucking awesome.
I too want to steal your resolution except you are starting way ahead in the ranks of awesomeness. But I can still aspire to be more awesome, right?
Heh. Most self-affirming. post. ever.
Kudos!
You’re so hawt, man. I want to have a sordid lesbian love affair with you. We’d make beautiful children together. Or something.
PS – You shall be fucking awesome. YOU SHALL BE.
the year of fucking awesome sounds fucking awesome
as long as it’s also fucktard free 😉 lol
In 2009, I might clean my garage out. That is all.
here’s to a fucking awesome year.
and yes i want to steal this resolution also
Okay, I’ve got the whole lose weight thing…which I really really do need to do this year. I am not pregnant and not intending to be, and I really need to get rid of this “baby weight” that I acquired 6 years ago.
And then there’s the not drinking thing. Yeah, that’s a stupid resolution, but my dad’s an alkie, so I really do need to give up the drink before I get like him.
This is so not a funny comment…and I will go back and read those Jan posts, but it will have to be later.
I forgot to mention the resolution to not procrastinate.