January 2009

I suck. With bullets.

Some of you may have noticed my lack of presence on the internetz of late. It could be because: It is so fucking hot my eyelashes are sticking to my face when I blink. I had to grace my workmates with my presence and try to fix fuckups by fucktards that had the presence of [...]

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It is hell on earth so I am trawling the internetz for funny as a cover for my manical laughter. Is it working? Hide the knives.

The heat is damn near killing me biatches. Seriously. Forecast for the next few days 41C, 40C, 40C, 40C. Hottest week in like a hundred years or something. Last time it was this hot people lived in tin huts, baked their own bread, never had the pleasure of hiking their skirt over the airconditioner vent [...]

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Happy Australia Day. Or the post where I declare my undying love for Adam Hills. Seriously, Adam, call me.

Today was spent in airconditioned comfort.  Watching the fucking funniest man on the entire PLANET, and I am pretty sure that he would have those freakshows on Betelgeuse rolling around in laughter too, Adam Hills. Dude is teh funneh.  And hot.  I mean I would totally dry hump his artificial foot if I saw him [...]

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The post fuelled by exhaustion and the scent of my own sweat. Oh and a big helping of sooky-la-la-ness.

It has been hot. Nerves are frayed. Patience is thin and he feels the tension in the air. Feeding on the emotions of those closest to him. He doesn’t do it on purpose.  He is not screaming for the sake of screaming.  He is screaming because of some perceived change or sequence of events that [...]

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I was happy. Then sad. Then happy again when the pizza came to soak up the wine.

So I came home from work all happy like to be leaving the damn office behind for a THREE DAY BREAK cause it is a PUBLIC HOLIDAY WEEKEND in Australia for AUSTRALIA DAY! And I was all W00T and Yee-haw and this is so freaking awesome and I am totally gunna sleep in every single [...]

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I gotz me the fee-vah.

Every now and then (read not very often) I get the fee-vah. The good little Sally Housewife/Super Mummy vapours. It is not sweeping the ceilings kinda fee-vah – but they do look a little dusty – but bad enough to send my chillen scurrying away lest I wanna clean behind their ears or something. Would [...]

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Would you care for a serve of bitumen with your eggs?

Holy shit. I just did something I should never have done. I know better.  But I couldn’t help myself. I just returned home from work and checked the temperature outside. We just hit 41C. Fuck. Now I am hotter than what I was before.  I think my core temperature just raised 10 degrees just knowing [...]

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Smigglicious

Yesterday I was all Awesome Mummy and took Moo to the Mecca of stationery, Smiggle. And I opened my purse and dumped the entire contents on the counter so she could have fucking AWESOME notebooks and pretties for her final year of high school. *sob* Only the day after MPS went to the textbook store [...]

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At least I am not as stupid as her. I know what an Ewok is. I had one stuck to my shoe the other day.

Saw this today.  Shamelessly stolen from somewhere that stole it from here. Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn’t seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo. Cracked my shit up.  Even though the only things I remember from the whole trilogy is my brother getting all pissed if anyone spoke while he was watching it.  [...]

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If you are reading this post then that means I am not dead.

So y’all (multiculturallyness again) know that I have been wielding my awesomeness all around the internetty acronyms. I am a fucking coder or some shit now. Totally. But dude, when I was all ‘Photoshop has my arse in a sling’ that was nothing, nothing I tellz ya compared to the complete arse kicking I am [...]

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