The kids wrote their letters to Santa last night.
Moo, Too, Boo and the ring-in Ranga (Moo’s BFF who practically lives here, she has chores and everything). Two 17 year olds, a 15 year old and a boy with Autism sitting on the floor under the Pokemon Tree writing their wishes.
I was hiding working hard in the kitchen, eavesdropping overhearing the conversation.
There were the usual ‘a bajillion dollars’ ‘a planet full of unicorns’ ‘severed heads’ ‘Edward’ and ’72 virgins’. The dreams of Damn Emos. I have no idea where they get their weirdness from.
Must have been the Tofu and liver I fed them as babies. Cause damn that was entertaining watching them nom on that shit.
They were cracking themselves up with their Emo wit, and I was all ‘potatoes and coal for you biatches’.
While all the hilarity ensued, Boo was quietly writing his requests to Santa. There was dead silence while the Damn Emo’s read his list.
Apparently, if he doesn’t get everything he desires everyone will die and he will set himself on fire.
Click to enlarge…
How is that for pressure?
Thankfully I was able to backhand an old lady with a cane and stomp on a little kids face to snatch the last one acquire the radio controlled car he requested. The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers (the MMPR in the letter) DVD’s are proving to be a little more elusive. Apparently Boo missed the craze by, oh, about SEVEN YEARS.
But I will prevail. I will summon all of my awesome fabulousing powers to prevent my boy from setting himself alight.
Cause dammit, the only thing that will be burning on Christmas Day is the poor turkey my mother will mutilate.
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Woah! Good luck with that. Google says there’s MMPR DVD sets available — in German. Shame they’re not in Hebrew. 😉
I would happily hvae ‘Edward’ for Christmas, and birthdays, and every day inbetween!
If you still have a VHS (yeah, an antique, I know) you could get this http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mighty-Morphn-Power-Rangers-Dumpster/dp/B00004R6NH/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1228995950&sr=1-13
Well that’s an interesting letter. I bet Santa doesn’t get one of those every day 😉
Now that’s the spirit of Christmas alright!
Be happy you aren’t Jewish or Boo would have a lot easier time accessing flames during the holiday season.
Phew, what a letter! 😀
From what I’ve heard, Santa LOVES blackmail.
xoxo, SG
Heh, that was an awesome letter. My kids are being really boring this year. Trade??
Maybe you could find them online to download? I hear Santa’s an ace media pirate ;-).
Awwww…. So sweet! Nothing like seeing the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child. 🙂
My favorite part is the bottom “In closing, I’ll stop.” Finito. I have some letters to write to insurance companies. Let me know what his cost per hour is and I’ll contract with Boo. I think he would be more effective that I have been.
But wait! “In closing, I’ll stop” what??? Leaving me hanging here.
at least he isn’t intense or anything…
LOL! At least he knows what he wants. I have a five year old whose list changes every.single.day. Grrr!!!
Wow! He knows what he wants, huh? Keep that extinguisher on a belt…just in case!
Okay, first of all, kudos to you for getting extra children to do chores for you. That thought had never occurred to me, and I am filing it away for further use.
Second of all, that Boo. Without question that is the best letter to Santa I have ever read.
That is insanely awesome, and yet, there’s a part of me that’s glad I don’t have that kind of pressure looming on me as I try to hunt down a WWE wrestling ring for my oldest, who only has that on his list!
I’m surprised there was a “P.S. I wanna flame thrower, too.”
Me? My list is short. I want the DVD of the uncut version of “Debbie Does Dallas”. Just because.
Almost as provocative as the little boy Billy signing, “PS. I got your Mama and if you ever wanna see her again…” I opted out of the wish list this year after last year’s marathon getting every single thing on Blue’s list and upon opening all the gifts, he STILL cried because his Dad got an iPod and he didn’t. It wasn’t on the list you ungrateful little turd!
***Don’t forget to leave a comment over at my place by this Saturday to enter for the chance to win some really awesome shiny stuff! If anything, it’s for my homies, they are the most creative crafting artists I know! Who doesn’t like jewelry or a FREE blog makeover???***
PS – LOVE the new holiday header!!!
You know, I’m starting to think y’all are a wee bit crazy. I think I like it.
Dude…I would NEVER want to be on his bad side.
I will spontaneously combust if I don’t get what’s on my list. There will be nothing left but little green globules.
And your damn emos are gonna have to fight my damn emos for Edward (actually, the little one wants Jasper. She probably would’ve liked Ringo best, too. Less competition).
Please let me know if his threat works.
I’m going to use it one the fucker next year to get what I want.
Hilarious.
LOL! Hope you find the DVD.
I think this is hysterical.. and plan on using it to get my Mac Book.. hehehehe And I have a billion of the Power Rangers DVD’s I could burn you a few.. I ship to the land down under.. 🙂
Good luck finding the DVD, you really don’t need a flaming teen on Christmas morning. Definitely a hazard around cut trees.
Hardcore.
My girls have not done letters to Santa yet. After reading here I think we might give them a miss this year.
Are you getting him matches?
Did I just cross the line?
I’m really thinking St Nick, as a saint & all, really would object to lighting a child ablaze – even if it is a request. I heartily approve of the Edward desire, though. Have you tried Ebay?
*snigger* Now that’s an imagination and a half. Adorable child, simply adorable.
Have you tried Big W ? They’ve got the movie and a few of the series on DVD HERE
” I have no idea where they get their weirdness from.”
me neither….
LOL Pressure much! 😛
Good luck with the DVD’s – try KMart, Big W or Ebay if all else fails.
Oh my GAWD that is so awesome. He MUST deliver, no? I mean the pressure and all…
Ha! At least he wants tangible things!
Ah…Christmas by childlight…erm, I mean candlelight…it’s gotta be the TV influence…I mean…set oneself aflame for the glory of MMPR…Oy, Boo…there are better ways….have him watch The Marathon Man…is it safe yet???? Bwahahahhahahahaha…..
You and the Emos dress up as Power Rangers and get the Hubby to video you doing cool shit.
Well, there’s a boy who knows what he wants.
Perhaps he’d also like an asbestos-like (but not asbestos) pair of pjs?
…and in the words of Boo:
“In closing, I’ll stop”
At least he didn’t ask for a long list of stuff.
Get yourself over to ebay and amazon toot sweet baby. Find that MMPR dvd. Pay the bajillion dollars demanded. Anything to stop the burning……
Seriously, I hope you find one.
Get you arse on to ezydvd.com.au they should have heaps!!
Is it wrong that that is THE funniest thing I have read all week? And it’s a kid’s Christmas letter?
But if you’re dead, how will you burn him? There’s a logical fallacy in there.
Hope you find the DVDs.
Great Post Kelly,
I thought that was a pretty cute Christmas letter. I hope you have a great Christmas.
I wanted to drop you a comment because I am trying to raise money for the Autism Action Partnership this Christmas. We are selling a Velvet Suit Santa Figurine and a sterling silver Four-Heart Pendant. They really are beautiful pieces and each sale benefits the Autism Action Partnership. I was thinking that you might know some moms who would be interested in these gifts/contributions. You can buy the gifts online at
Pendant: http://shop.borsheims.com/Borsheims/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=4SVRD0307
Santa:
http://shop.borsheims.com/Borsheims/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=6XZZZ0756
Merry Christmas and keep up the good posts,
Will
That is too damn funny. The matches are all squirreled away, right?
EVERYONE wants to help boo….
http://www.amazon.com/Mighty-Morphin-Power-Rangers-Movie/dp/B000059HAJ
A little late but we have some Power Ranger Dolls. You could mock something up on your phone and post it to youtube. Merry Christmas. Immensely entertaining. We kept a book for years of funny things that our kids said. Hard to believe going back.
this is brilliant
i am going to use the same threat when i write my birthday wish list
that might get everyone’s attention 😉
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