Today Moo and I did a little retail therapy after she had a job interview (please send get this job so she is outta my hair during the school holidays – which start in like 5 weeks and end in FEBRUARY!!! – and doesn’t have any spare time to get up to no good with the new boyfriend vibes please my lovelies…) she found it rather amusing so I asked her if she wanted to do a guest post on my blog. She was all ‘damn straight’ and I was all ‘tell them how freaking awesome I am and how I should totally write a book about how to be like the awesomest mother that has ever walked the earth in freaking fabulous shoes!’ and she was all ‘Don’t change a WORD in it. Not a WORD’ and I was all ‘But what about the pictures I took?’ and she was all ’sigh’.
Damn sighing Emo.
And without further ado, I present Moo in her blogging debut. With my pictures. Losing her blogging virginity so to speak. The only one I hope she loses for a long looooooooong time. You hear me biatch?
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There, towering over all other shelves, they were. The Christmas trees. Beside me, Mum clutched her skinny choc-malt milkshake and started stuttering. I waved my hand over her face.
“I’ve got the vapours!” She fanned herself.
She had lost it.
“I want to put up the Christmas tree,” she said, and her eyes began to gloss over. I was losing her.
“It isn’t even my birthday yet!” I reminded her, trying to pull her away. But she would not have it. She continued to the decorations.
“Oh Moo!” she gasped, picking up some weird-arse case with several dips for baubles. “It’s a bauble container!” She turned the corner. “I need it! A basket to hold Christmas paper rolls! Moo! A container especially for bows!”
They were ridiculous. They looked like any other containers, but for their festive colours. Her eyes were bright and she started twitching. I could hear her brain whirring. Must. Have. DECORATIONS. Christmas. Storage. CHRISTMAS.
“Mum…” I sighed. She pulled out her phone.
“You don’t understand. It’s storage AND Christmas! ALL IN ONE!” She snapped pictures of the boxes. I groaned.
“Let’s look at the decorations instead, hmm?” I dragged her bodily to the baubles. That was a mistake. She began fawning over bowls and crappy little danglies.
“I can totally make this into a necklace!”
“DUDE! This bowl is awesome!”
“Blah, blah, blah!”
In closing, Mum is a douche.
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What? What!? They were awesome!
Look at this
and this
and how can you say that is not fan-freaking-tastic? I mean STORAGE and CHRISTMAS at the same time.
Brilliant.
I think I need to sit down. I am feeling a little faint.
Can I put the Bathroom Tree™ up yet?
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I admit, I forgot that you were a fellow plastic storage whore. I massively <3<3<3 ALL plastic storage containers (except those cheap ass ones that morons buy, because they cost less than the good ones *eyeroll*).
Moo has totally inherited the blog-queen gene. I loved her lucid descriptions of your public displays of weirdness. I’m glad I’m not the only one who regularly embarrasses their children in public.
In closing, Kelley, you are a douche *ROFLMAO*
I want the bathroom tree up and pics posted before midnight on Sunday. Don’t you know that if you don’t have your tree up before midnight on 19 October, you get all the crappy gifts from the bottom of Santa’s sack?
Moo, you are FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Welcome to the world of blogging!
Oh, and those storage boxes? CHRISTMAS storage boxes? *faints*
WANT!
holy shit! Christmas storage? I have a whole spare room that devastated by unchecked spare christmas wrapping paper. That stuff is the shizzle. Where can I get?
You can get it at the home of all that is good and tacky, Target.
Be sure to buy extra and send them to ME!!!
What, your tree isn’t up yet? Mine’s still there with my cards from 2 years ago.*
Moo rocks! (choc) chip off the old (cadbury) block. Good luck with the job!
* yeah ok, so that’s a slight exaggeration. But it would have been if someone else hadn’t taken it down for me
Go Moo! (Can I just say my kids are going through another knock knock joke phase- KK, WT, Cows go, CG who?, NO! Cows go Moo…) But sorry, Moo!
So I am heading into Targé Red Circle Boutique in the near future for some plastic fantastic I see!
Oh that Moo, she’s so funny! But what on earth is wrong with Christmas-related storages boxes – they are perfect!?
OBVIOUSLY, hilarity is hereditary.
That being said, I totally side with your mum. I, myself, am about to make sweet, sweet love to the wreath holder.
Which, by the way, is also the only thing you can make sweet, sweet love to as well. Because sex is gross. And it makes you break out. And loose your hair. And it makes you unpopular and sucks out all coolness for eternity. Then you’re covered in zits, have hair that resembles a neglected Chia Pet and no one likes you.
Kelley, it is not even November yet. Please don’t decorate for Christmas until at least the first of December. fight the urge…
That girl’s gonna go somewhere in this blogging world. If her mother doesn’t smother her with thoughts of plastic christmas decoration holders, that is.
Moo, I am so with you. Indented plastic boxes for Christmas baubles … just one quick call and Kelley can be safely packaged away to the quiet place for the holidays.
I can’t believe Christmas has reached the blogosphere, it seems to get earlier and earlier every year.
Good luck with the job! (assuming you want it).
Awesome debut! Sorry Kelley, I’m with Moo on this one. It’s also waaaay too early for Christmassy stuff right now, especially storage stuff. You haven’t even gotten it out yet.
You keep her in line Moo. I’ll look for your blog in the near future.
hahaha I love it! I’m totally going on a major spree on payday!
Tell me you’re joking about the tree in the bathroom. Because if I put a tree in my bathroom, it would totally get pissed all over.
I’m starting a petition on behalf of those of us who believe Moo should start a blog of her own. I got to see the other side of you biatch and I loved it.
I confess to having one of those wrapping paper holders.
But I have never ever called my mother a douche. Hmm. I wonder how she’d take that?
HILARIOUS! Though I must confess, I am ready to pull out the Christmas decorations too. Nothing excites me more than a cool storage container, so today I shall begin the hunt for that awesome bauble holder!
That is too funny! I am so not ready to think about Christmas yet but I am ready for the Thanksgiving Turkey. Yum!!!
Where the heck did you find those totes? My poor decorations get rapped in TP and stuffed in a box each year and something always ends up broken.
I actually own the stuff in the second picture. I have to tell you that many rolls of paper (at least in the States) DO NOT FIT inside that container.
Anyway, I love Moo! And that bauble holder is FAB – U – LOUS!
Yeah, once I was all about the red & green storage bins until the horrible reality of “Christmas” just cannot be contained hit me. Not in my attic at least!
The wreath box? WAY too small for MY homemade 6 ft wide glorious *lighted* wreath! One of the only times I have cried in a Wal*Mart.
Wrapping paper bins? Dude, I still have leftover rolls from my dead *Grandmother’s* attic. If I put them ALL in containers, they’d never fit. Who minds Christmas wrap under the bed anyway?
Bow boxes? Who uses bows any more? They just get knocked off cramming gifts under the tree and it is WAY more fun stacking flat boxes like Tetris under there!
So as much as the OCD gods would have just loved this concept, I had to let it go. Or that’s what my therapist says anyways.
Mom’s a douche?!! ROTF!!
I LOVE this blog. Too funny.
Hmmm, apple doesn’t fall far from the blogging tree, does it.
Genius. I’d love me some more Moo.
And I’d get just as excited over all those decor boxes… but I don’t organize, so they’d just sit here looking empty and pretty.
I have those.
And those. And one of those.
Nana nana boo boo.
I’m glad my kids can’t form thoughts involving words like douche yet. I know the day is coming though.
Thanks to Moo for a vivid word picture of life with Kelley. It sounds like a good time.
And I think the Bathroom Tree (TM) should be a year-round thing.
A bathroom tree? Kelley, you’re a douche. *groans*
… does moo know what a douche actually is? good luck with the job and a very shiny and twinkly christmas Kelly for you and your family
I bought those Christmas organizers and every year they fucking sit there and taunt me with accusations of being underutilized because I almost always just wrap everything in paper towels and put them in a box. Sigh.
Moo – an awesome first blog post. Now that the blogging bug has bitten you, when are you going to start your own blog?
Also, I totally agree with you. It is way to early for Christmas trees and I am scared that your mother would have so many Christmas bows that she would need to have a container that big.
You are a sick woman. But on the plus side, at least Moo now knows what to get you for xmas. Bwahaha!
Moo, you are on the side of the righteous, containers for xmas decorations is just going too far! Containers for shoes however, quite reasonable
moo = teh awesome
that is all
She is a glorious writer. As for your fixations, there are clinics you COULD go to, you know.
I think you need serious help my dear.
OMG! I have to have those bauble storage containers! Which store were they from? Ah, never mind, went back and read your comment about them being from Target!
Congrats Moo on losing your blogging virginity ;P Great post!
ps – we have wrapping storage containers already. They’re just big flat rubbermaid containers with little wheels that roll under the bed
I’m pretty sure if my kid were old enough to type, he’d probably say “Mom is a douche,” too. That’s hawt.
You know I’m a slut when it comes to most of my possessions but I do take the time to store my Christmas Decos away carefully. Not sure why. I just like to unwrap them and decorate the tree…
Just the one tree for us.
So I get it. Christmas storage. Mmmmmm.
First, Moo totally rocks the blog.
Second, I was seriously addicted to plastic containers, but mine were of the yogurt and chinese food variety cause they’re free. If I walked into Target with lotsa money to spend on anything I want, I would no doubt walk out with empty boxes. How is it that Target convinces us to hand over a wad of cash for an empty box?
Dear Moo,
First blog post = teh awesome.
If you think your mum drooling over Christmas storage is bad, go shopping with my mum. She’s the one that has to press EVERY button on EVERY Christmas toy in EVERY aisle before she’s happy. Then she’ll look at other stuff, come back and do it all again.
At least the storage doesn’t sing when you touch it!
That’s it….I am so going shopping next week.
You did well with your first post Moo. Congrats.
I was in Target the other day and didn’t see any of that stuff. Guess I’ll have to go again. That bauble holder looks like the perfect thing for transporting home made mince pies……….
I was looking for a new christmas tree. Mine is 6ft tall and I want a little one, say about 50cm. The biggie just takes up too much space. Think I can find one? One that isn’t fibre optic? One that isn’t coiled wire? One that looks just like the 6ft ones? NO. Huh.
Good luck with the job, Moo. And nice blogging, you could take over more often. Give mum a break now and then. Cos, you know, she needs to get busy elsewhere, putting up christmas trees and such.
oh shit. Containers and christmas. I suppose you’ll want to be buried in one of those damn christmas containers one day!
LOLOLOLOL!!!! I don’t know where to start.
First, Moo, I hope you get the job and you write wonderfully! You rock.
Now Kelley, girl you crack me up! Containers? Christmas? Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
And the bathroom tree? It needs to be smaller this year. Remember what happened last year.
Yay for Moo!
And she should totally start a blog!
And commenter Kelly? My mum does the exact same thing with the Christmas toys! She was once thrown out of a shop for doing it.
9 times out of 10 Kelley, you are awesome.
But I’m with Moo on this one…get a grip girl!
Although the annotated photos were fabbo….for pointing out your , umm, vulnerability to bits of plastic for stickin stuff into, and then finding the containers take up waaaaay more room than the original things. Need I go on?
I’m such a Grinch when it comes to christmas, it means nothing to me anymore… but anyway,
Yay for Moo, great blog
Kelley, if you want them and can afford them, get them. your money, your christmas, your time taken to get organised! if it makes you happy, then why not.
Thanks for wanting to kick the teachers ass for me, she was nice the next time i went in… she must be menopausing, though i would love to see the imprint of your heels on her ass
Hooray! When’s Moo getting her own blog!?!
Sending the vibes you desire. Sending the job vibes, too.
I personally don’t desire Christmas decorations. I despise them, truthfully. I like the idea of playing house and putting up a (fake) tree, but honestly, it’s all just more work for me.
Let’s just drink egg nog instead!
The boxes ARE nice, though, aren’t they?!?!
A bow box? With a handle because bows are so heavy? Bwahahaha…
Greatest post I’ve read all day, Moo – loved seeing this side of your Mum! I hope you become a regular contributor.
Way to embarrass Moo, Kelley.
Geeeez, will you put your tongue back in your mouth?!
I think Moo needs to blog more about her boyfriend.
I’d love to see Kelley’s head explode.
wow. A moo post. Way to surrender control, K. And, I think you and I are alike. I have boxes like those for ornaments. Each ornament has its own place. And, I have wrapping paper organizers for 1. Christmas and 2. Birthday. I live to organize with fun boxes.
PMSL that was funny!
Congrats, Moo…very excellent start….
Christmas?? Gag me with a spoon puleeze it is just October! I almost barfed this weekend because one of our local oldies stations decided to start playing CHristmas music on weekends and they are streaming it all of the time online….I mean, I know we have just all taken a header with the stock market, but CHRISTMAS NOW? Noooooooooo!
Rubbermaid has storage for every frickin thing under the sun….we even have them here for Halloween decorations in orange and black….GAWD!
But if ya gotta cream over something besides shoes, it might as well be something functional like storage boxes….bwaaaahahahahahaha…have fun!
She will succumb to the box organisation…oh yes. I love mine too. I have 2 for baubles that have those cardboard square separators, one 3-drawer lovely for lights (until we cave and buy a new tree pre-lit cos my husband is allergic to pine trees) and I have a wreath holder. I love Christmas decor!
You know what the funny thing is? Moo probably thought we’d all jump ship with her…hahaha!
Now, I want to see Moo reply to each and every one of these comments! *snort*
There is a responsibility that goes with being a smart biatch!
Moo..Moo…Mooooooo!
You have my sympathies darling…the woman obviously needs help!
Oh and good job with the whole losing your virginity thing girl..you did good.
Moo rocks!
We vote 1 for Moo!
We want more Moo.
Moo for PM.
Or we post you crocs….sheepskin crocs that we know you lurve
I just reorganized my entire closet to showcase my wrapping paper organizer.
xoxo, SG
Brilliant..Moo is brilliant.. she needs a blog.. sign her up..
I don’t get the problem. I mean Xmas + organization is like PORN to me.
OMFG. That was fucking funny. That girl needs a blog.
Oh Moo, if I ever met your Mum you’d probably have to kill us both. I saw Christmas decorations in the store the other day and I actually SQUEALED with delight. And the idea of storage specifically for Christmas decorations? FABULOUS.
*sigh*
uh… bathroom tree?????
riiiight…
hehehe
I swear you’re channeling my wife. Its scary. Oh and your daughter can write.
moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog. moo needs a blog.
like mother, like daughter…
put the stuff up, who cares what the calendar says!
Moo is an awesome Emo Biatch. Love it.
BTW I want all that stuff too…
Are you a storage freak like me? I love stores that carry containers and bins. Organizing is fun to me. I’m a weirdo.
How did you not know about these storage options? Oh, honey, I’ve got stuff to show you.
Email me, btw, about the Christmas thingy you mentioned a few weeks back. I’m too lazy to go click and find your email address.
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