Today while I was
slapping on the warpaint applying my mascara I was reminded of a compliment I received as a teen.
I was doing work experience at a salon – I had dreams of becoming a world famous makeup artist, flitting around the world part-ay-ing on down with the rich and famous and them loving me cause I could transform them into Goddesses and they couldn’t live without me, dah-ling, here is a couple of thousand dollars to buy yourself a little somethin’ somethin’ cause you are THAT freaking awesome – so I got to stock the shelves, sweep the floor and watch while the beautician ripped hair off old womens faces and, ahem, private parts.
So one day I was washing all the towels – I KNOW! Fucking slave drivers – when one of the hair artistes asked if I would be in their fashion show thingy cause someone dropped out. I was all W00T! cause not only was I going to be a world famous makeup artist but now a freaking model! SCORE!
I sat in the makeup chair, feeling pretty freaking chuffed while one of the girls started playing with my hair. Trying different up and down do’s and making me feel all special and shit.
‘You know Kelley..’ she mused ‘You have beautiful eyes. And a perfect nose. Your cheekbones are lovely and you have great lips..’
I could feel my teenaged head swelling. Imagining I was the next Cindy Crawford but without that freaky mole thing on her face.
MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY
The girl sighed.
‘But all together, it is just, just, WRONG’
My head deflated so fast I think it caved in a little.
So, my lovelies, anyone given you a backhanded bitch slap that has knocked you out of the field?