Thankyou for taking time out of your busy day to contact me.
I appreciate that you took time away from your ivory tower to write me, detailing your concerns for the welfare of my children, my current mental state and the number of shoes in my closet.
I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply, but as you point out, instead of curing my sons Autism I have been wasting my time playing on the internet and wandering around in fabulous shoes.
While we are on the subject of my son, I feel I need to clear up a little misconception. You say I am ‘ridiculing’ and ‘making light of his disabilites’ and as you so carefully and articulately explained ‘should have your children taked away for abuse’. Somehow, I think my kids are getting quite enough abuse here at home, but if you have somewhere in mind that I can send them to get some more abuse, I am sure they could do with hardening the fuck up.
As for the ‘ridiculing’, the kid brings it on himself. He is so fucking funny it HURTS. I mean come on, when the kid is running around the house exclaiming ‘Rabbi!’ or ‘Dog semen’ or muttering in Hebrew, dammit that shit is FUNNY!
As is when he escaped the house while I was having a pee and I found him in the driveway of the neighbours making dirt angels wearing nothing but a tshirt and a smile. How can you not laugh? Not mocking. Not degrading. Not a reason to threaten to call social services. (But if you do, can you give me a little heads up? Just want to make sure that I wear the right shoes.)
I mean everyone has to pee don’t they? And although I am rather spectacular at everything, for some reason I don’t like to be cheered on in the bathroom.
Oh and I LOVE that you have taken the time to go back through my archives and pinpoint every single fucking post where you have perceived that I have ‘demeaned’ and ‘degrated’ my son. That takes a special kind of crazy caring.
Dearest mouth breather reader, your concern for my mental health is noted. But I have got this far in life and I am so fucking awesome, I feel that medication may slow me down a bit. I mean you don’t get this ‘arrogant’ and ‘self serving‘ and ‘stupid’ when all your neurons are firing correctly.
Suggesting medication? That shit costs money, meaning less shoes for me.
And as you know, it is all about me. Even if I am ‘as ugly on the inside as the outside‘.
So how about we do each other a favour? You can go on with your sad little lonely life and I will go on being fucking awesomely fabulous and go spend the grocery money on some more shoes.
Sounds like a workable plan to me.
Kelley
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{ 108 comments… read them below or add one }
Trolls are idiots. You, on the other hand, are fabulous. You totally rock those shoes, by the way.
I’m…livid. I just cannot believe someone would send you that shit. Wow.
Like I said early sweetie…he’s a right wanker!
And you are fucking fabulous! Shoes and all!
Brava!
I wish I could drive to Australia and buy you some shoes.
Word.
Well, she does have a point. I mean, you are depriving those kids of the Shoes Of Who’s Name We Do Not Speak. That, in itself, makes you certifiable. Maybe I’ll throw some in your box of school supplies. I was going to send some brass balls, but you clearly have those well in hand.
*snicker: I just said you had balls in your hand*
I would have hurled the letter in the recycling bin as soon as I got to anything using the works curing autism. Ugh, some people.
Wow! Some people just don’t know when to keep their head up their arse. YOU are fabulous, Kelley. Don’t change for anyone
It is so crystal clear to me how much you love that boy. ‘Nuff said.
Bravo. Or Brava. I get those confused. Which one do you say to a lady? That one.
You rock, as does your shining love for you kid. It’s obvious in every post.
bit of constructive criticism there eh? Choice! (choice cuts rather than selecting from options). Hmmm. Appeared from the edited highlights, the offence was based on your seeming enjoyment of your life. Indeed: how dare you?
Oooh, I just love your line about ’should have your children taked away for abuse’. Good snap back. Can I borrow it for when the trolls come back to me again?
Hmmm, it seems to me that a certain troll ought to be locked up for abusing grammar. You, on the other hand, get a standing ovation being perfect. Perfect shoes, perfect mom, perfect, perfect, perfect.
aww Kel I think that “concerned” person must have the wrong blog hun! You are teh awesome- we all know that….and they got the whole shit wrong from the first bit where thy said you should be “curing your childs autism”
LIKE THAT CAN ACTUALLY HAPPEN
they are an arsehat- just ignore it
Love ya babe
What an arsehat.
What a legend. Comparison done. Nuff said.
Keep on keeping on Kelly (in FABULOUS shoes)
The Internet truly brings out the worst of people at times. I bet she wouldn’t have the courage to say what she said in her email to your face.
Personally, I think that Boo could have no better mother. You love him for who he is and encourage him to let his true personality shine.
In some situations where it is what it is, there is only the choice to either laugh or to cry, and neither will change the reality of what is. I am a laugher, and I admire and respect others who are as well. Like you.
Well, I think now we know where you can send your used toothbrush.
Putting together a posse to go over there and kick some f*cktard ass… (Ooh… and I call myself a Christian!) That proves just how furious such behaviour makes me.
You’re a star Kelley… and your post is the perfect response!
I liked the toothbrush reply!
It is oh so easy for beyotches like that to sit in their ivory tower and judge people. I bet “concerned” doesn’t have anyone in her life to care about – with or without disabilities. That’s made fairly clear by the amount of time she spent reading through your archives, right?
If you happen to have her IP address, can you throw it my way? Did she send it via email – if yes can you send me the headers? I can check it out to see if it is anyone we actually know. Cos us scambaiters have toolz and mad skillz
and anonymous letter writers aren’t always aware of what we can do to find out exactly who they are – if they did, they would NEVER have written anything anonymous in the first place.
Geez, all the drama in the blogosphere lately!
The way I know you’re teh awesome? You said in your retribution letter that you are AWESOME. Do you know how few people do that in their anti-troll notes? NONE. It takes a huge dose of teh awesome to do that.
But what you forgot to mention is that obviously, they’re mostly upset because they’re stuck wearing Walmart-brand Crocs. Not even the labeled ugly fuckers, but the roll-out special ones.
*sigh* The price of fame my dear. The price of fame. Everyone’s a critic.
I second that you are teh awesome and some people do not have a sense of humor. I can see that you need to have humor to get through life and I, for one, TOTALLY APPRECIATE that humor.
And I know you love your kids. It’s quite obvious to anyone who has a sense of humor.
(Loved the sending the kids out for abuse comment!)
:: Cheers ::
Well said Kelley.
You’ve got a troll Kelley! Now you know you’ve hit the big time. Can we play with her mom, can we, can we, please? Pleeeeeeeease? We won’t torment her (too) much…
And on a completely different note, Boo is muttering in Hebrew? I’m so proud… I’d be happy to provide him with lots of fun “don’t say these in polite company” type words for his muttering pleasure
.
NICE way to put out that flamer!
Fuck you ‘concerned’, fuck you royally.
I wonder ‘concerned’, are you aware that every time you click here, or through the archives, or in the comment box, you are increasing the hits & therefore ad revenue for Kelley?
How poetically ironic.
More money for shoes eh? Nice big pointy steel toe capped ones I hope.
Fuck you ‘concerned’ and your special brand of insular ignorance, fuck you sideways.
Dear “Concerned”,
FUCK OFF.
Yours sincerely,
The rest of the world.
Fucking hell, some people really don’t have anything better to do, do they?
Awesome post Kel!
Methinks Concerned has some issues!
And fuck me, how else do you stay sane but to laugh at it?
Wow. What is Concerned’s email address?
Not only are you awesome, and “Concerned” a complete dumbass, but you write an awesome blog! That’s brilliant stuff. Loved the “taken away for abuse” — still laughing!
xx
Oh, Kelley, congratulations!
You’ve become so awesomely famous you’ve got your own itty bitty fucktard half-wit village idiot!
Just think, now you can start your own commune, complete with entertainment from the court jester dipshit!
But I think you should track down the creature’s IP addy and alert the welfare authorities that another under-developed vegetable has escaped the compost pile…again.
Hear Hear!
You have definitely reached blog fame when you start getting hate and judgemental mail! Well done for making it!
Concerned- you are a twit!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *takes a deep breath* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
Smootches Babe,Big Big smootches..
You tell ‘em Boss. Useless fu**er should spend a day in your house and learn the truth. See for him/her self the love and caring that goes on in between the shoe shopping and net surfing.
And now that we know autism can be cured (haha), we’ll get right on that, eh?
You are fucking awesomely fabulous.
Takes a lotta fucking balls….
i don’t know, k., i think you said it just right. perfectly, in fact.
You are just FUCKING awesome!
My twin…
*sigh*
There was a time my brother got fixated on Disney Fantasia. He had a portion of the video tape he watched and rewound, like, eighty bazillion times. (When Mickey is in the wizard outfit directing the stars and planets from that rock outcropping…ya know the part?)
And then, Joe would, with great gusto and his stilted speech mimic it with “LIGHTNING, COMIN’ DOWN!” and, OMG, the way he did it….we were all pissing ourselves. I can’t even do it justice.
And we weren’t making fun of him either, it was just fucking funny. And that was like ten years ago.
As for how horrible you are, hmmm, the sanctimommy’s of the world sure make everything so much BETTER don’t they? Some people are awesome parents and have kids who turn out shitty. Some people are shitty parents and their kids turn out awesome (like me, with my batshit crazy mother). And then there are the rest of us who just try our best, that’s all we can do.
But if your “friend” reads thru my archives and points out my parenting missteps, I don’t think I would be as nice or clever about it as you are.
That is why you are the awesome twin.
OMG you weren’t kidding about the haterz. Awesome response
LMAO at Latte Mommy’s suggestion…neatly wrapped in an unlaundered doona.
SMITE THE SMITERS
I have learned from the best (*ahem* YOU) to smite the smiters and move on. But DAMMIT if you don’t sit their asses in place first.
And ‘concerened’s’ place is up a giant donkey’s abscessed hemorrhoid.
I need to lower my expectations for humanity. People are constantly surprising me with their ignorance and downright nastiness. I expect better of people and am disappointed far too often. Trolls suck.
And I really love the idea of sending them your used toothbrushes- send a little shit their way.
I’m jealous. Mr Lady said you had “balls in your hand”. And they’re NOT MINE.
I had to read this twice, this is some kind of joke, right?
If some Ass hat really took the time to poke through all your posts and tell you what was wrong with you piece by piece..
damn
that’s whacked!
Must have shoe envy, or absolutely no life.
I congratulate you on your ever fab sense of humor,I would have told them to fuck off, and then just gone about my day.
Yours was brilliant, I bow to your greatness!
blows my mind…
Kelley, “Concerned” should really be concerned that she will be hunted down and her ass kicked.
You are teh awesomeness times infinity, my friend!
I’ll help in the beat down of Concerned.
You done good honey. XXOO Whoever wrote that shit needs to be examined themselves.
What a fecking n00b. Seriously. I think they must be viewing life from some sort of mental parallel universe. I, like everyone else, can see how much you love your kids, and I personally think Boo is a comic genius. He’s just so awesome. And Concerned, where I come from when kids are funny? You laugh.
And yep, it’s definitely a compliment to how cool you are that you have some wanker telling you their deranged view of the world. (I can swear, right?) You are awesome and win, and all your comments from the other peoples who got here before me prove it! (You guys rock too btw.) Keep it up Kelley
So, so wrong. Hang in there ….
Epic ninja skills of teh awesome, Kelley.
Concerned must have a sad, mean and nasty little existence. Being judgemental and having no sense of humour will do that to you. My daughter would call him/her a fuck stick. I’m not usually judgemental, but for Concerned, I’ll make an exception. Fuck stick.
wow. i have been out of reading since vacation, and this shit happens? boyohboy.
Hmmm, can you give us a hint where to find ‘concerned’? I know I’d do my best to help him/her understand a bit better!
Your response was spot on…you go, girl!
Oh Kelley. Sorry for the troll. They just suck and have their own issues. This post is awesome, I too have chosen shoes.
Hi Kel,
chin up, Shoe Goddess… what goes around comes around, and there is at least one someone out there who is wondering what might happen to them if your fans find out who they are… a lot of people ready to come out swinging after what happened to Kathy Sierra… a lot of people who love you and want this to never happen again to anyone.
Best regards, Andrew
Haven’t visited for a while but thought I would today and look what I find …. you, my lovely, are as awesome as ever!
big smootches to you
A
You can send them over here for a little more abuse if you like. Mine will all vouch for me being the hard ass of the century.
Love, the world takes all kinds. If ‘concerned’ wasn’t around who would we fabulous people have to ‘degrate’?
She is obviously a poorly educated, misinformed, hairy assed twat with a penchant (I wonder if she knows what THAT word means… I hear Google revving up as we speak) for attempting to drag people down to her gutter level.
Your guys are the luckiest kids in the world. I honestly don’t know how you take such good care of them and still keep your sense of humour… (please note, I said nothing about your sanity! heh)
I wonder if she sounds like Joy on ‘My Name is Earl’? *snort*
I think concerned needs to get a life.
Clearly she knows nothing about yours.
Nice response.
Trolls suck.
why do they bother? i just don’t get it.
you, however, i get. completely. you rock.
I’m back.
“mouth breather” I so am in love with that. It shall be used by moi.
Boxboy cracked me up (heh, the funny little midget has to be good at something) this walking, talking rectum who feels that you should be ‘curing’ Boo’s autism is helping you buy shoes! What a farkin’ crack up is that?
Hooker Heels, when you *do* find that fiddly old cure for autism, can you wave your pretty magic wand and find a cure for chronic fucktardyness? Yeah, yeah… fucktardyness is a word. I studied it for a semester when I was toasted off my twat at uni.
Remember, my acidic goddess, when they go to that much trouble, they envy you. Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and gooey inside.
Dog semen… LMFAO. Boo is cool.
I love you. Can I have your babies? No? Okay, maybe just your shoes then.
Delurking to say that the assholes never cease to amaze me. Rock on sistah. If you can’t laugh at yourself, we maybe should laugh at this reject.
Bloody trolls.
I ditched usenet groups because I’m apparently a bad bad mother … but I’m still not sure if I’m under- or overprotective. …
Ooooh, looks like someone is a leetle bit jealous of your awesomeness and your shoes, huh?
I feel terribly sorry for the children of someone who doesn’t know how to laugh or see and appreciate true love when it’s expressed. Your kids are lucky to have a Mama who appreciates them for exactly who they are and who celebrates the joys and craziness of this world.
kelley
you are an amazing mother and shoe lover… Hugs Babe…
Dear Concerned,
As alot of people have said, GO JUMP!!!! Fuckwit!!!
Girl. If this beeyotch lives in the States I’m off to kick her ass. now. I cannot stand people that sit in judgement. What I do love is YOU and your ability to handle it so gracefully. I think I’d say fuck you fuckity fuck. xo.
So Concerned has the whole of the internet to trawl to find people abusing children and s/he chooses you to advise?! Some people are fucked up.
You, on the other hand, did a magnificent response.
Holy crap! what an idiot!!
I’m a little concerned for Concerned and what’s gonna happen to her “concerned” ass when somebody figures out who she really is and concerns her dumb ass right off of the blogosphere.
I was all set to tell you how Fucking Awesome you are, but you obviously already know, and so do about twenty people who commented on your blog, so I’ll just leave it alone. Don’t want you getting a big head.
P.S. What does this “teh awesome” mean? Is that a typo, or does it really mean something?
P.P.S. How fucking COOL is it that I have 15 minutes to go back and change whatever dumb shit I wrote in a fit of rage over that stupid bitch “Concerned”? I mean not that I actually have the sense to change a word of my lame diatribe but really, How did you do that?
Holy shit! I recently got a similar email! Hey, at least I am a horrific mommy in good company!
You ROCK!!! *hugs*
You ROCK!!! That person was a total dick head or arsehat as you would say. *hugs*
You ROCK!!! That person was a total dickhead or arsehat as you would say. *hugs*
er….AMEN, SISTA!
Like you need THAT! If that person could live in your (fabulous) shoes for just one day, I’m sure they would be carted away. Not that I’m saying your life horrible, I’m just saying that sometimes people think they know someone because they read about them but in reality they don’t know jack.
*standing up and applauding wildly*
OMG some people are just f*cked. But – there is good to come out of this. Like your post. i haven’t laughed so hard in forever!
What an arsehat.
I think I am more concerned for concerned than you, dear Kel!
Boy, your troll has no sense of humor! Can you imagine reading YOU without a sense of humor? I guess that WOULD be kind of alarming. Good thing mine is in tact and I can enjoy you, your crazy abused kids and your fabulous shoes with my laughter volume set on 11.
Great response! I wish i had half your wit.
I too have had emails like that, its enough we get the abuse in public without it on here as well.
Like your style
Found you through wiping up snot. Brilliant. I can’t wait to read more!
Ha! It is such refreshing entertainment watching you stomp on stupid troll people… It’s like a warm blanket on a cold day. I’ll have to stop sending those anonymous troll comments that tempt you…
Delurking to let you know that you really are teh AWESOME!
I can’t believe that there are still people in the world that are that fracking stupid.
Rock on, keep laughing, and don’t forget to show us your shoes!
~kris
I heard Stilleto’s can kill trolls.
Fabulous response post. This person sounds like
special kind of crazy indeed. I am so sorry this happened to you.
OMG !!!!!!!!
I can’t believe someone would say that to you.
Just registering a comment to show my support.
How else are you meant to cope with the madness ??
Bahahaaaaaa…
I’m so blogging this.
And I’m betting concerned has been popping back regularly to read all the comments and to gasp in horror that no one is agreeing with them and are all ranting about how awesome you are……….
Like I said to WS yesterday, people who can’t laugh at what life deals them mustn’t have had any real struggles because when you are faced with heavy shit EVERY DAY you learn to laugh so you don’t cry rivers every hour.
To ‘concerned’, you are teh idiot. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
Ooo, Bettina, don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel …… lol.
Hope Concerned feels a right twat… and a left one too.
well said. You are a fantastic mother and it shows in your posts how much you care about boo. Some people live so high in there ivory towers that all the pollution up there is affecting there already tiny brain cells. AND so bloody what if you are addicted to shoes..
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. *sniggers*
Did you get hammered and watch Porky’s the other night, Bettina?
What I always like to trolls…
Don’t hate us ’cause you ain’t us.
That’s all.
… and this is why we have the right to free speech, and AWSOME rebuttal!!
Love your work Kel
(and your shoes
Frankly, I’m with “Concerned” – why haven’t you cured Austism… and cancer… and meningitis… and other shit we don’t particularly like?
YOU LAZY MOFO!!!
NB, I’ve had a similar situation this week with 2 commenters… although mine were a mix between digs at me and digs at bloggers in general. Leave it with them my friend. They can suck balls… the lot of them.
That is all!
Lovely… just lovely.
I don’t think I’ve commented before, but this just bites my bits.
Dear Concerned,
I live next door to one of you. UNTIL you live the life of a parent with a child with Autism (granted, my son only “exhibits signs of Aspergers” freaking ‘specialists’) DO NOT bother those of us living the dream. Go back, look through the archives. Check out the post about where you thought you would be?
Seriously. I hope to be there… like Kelly. Be at that point soon. Because right now. My heart is breaking and I am screaming in my head with frustration at the whole parenting thought. I’m tired and scared and exhausted from all the worry.
So bugger off.
Sincerely
The Canadian
heh, well at lleast you got paid from your ads for each page s/he clicked!
I love how someone can supposedly read your archives and find every moment when you supposedly didn’t care about your son…yet miss the obvious love and caring you show toward him every day. Fuck the trolls. You rock.
Have been trying to leave this comment for a few days…the page keeps going silly….and the writing is teensy tiny….must have been VERY mad and hit some wrong button…*ahem*….
Anyway – I found you’re troll’s photo – indeed….
I looked up FUCK KNUCKLE in the dictionary and…you know the rest…..
Seriously though I love your sense of humour,
to laugh at your situation – that which others would sit and wallow and sulk and feel sorry for themselves about – takes a lot of guts – and a very special person (wearing fabulous shoes) – and that is you.
G
xx
You are TOTALLY my hero! I’ve been called every name under the sun by one troll and I don’t even talk about anything controversial (I talk about glue guns and non-sewing events). People are MEAN. PERIOD.
I haven’t replied here because I was totally overwhelmed at the response. Thankyou so much every single one of you, I am truly honoured to have so many wonderful people taking the time to comment.
Dammit. You made me feel all human and shit.
A good response Kelley and I am glad you have identified ‘Concerned’. Whoever he/she is they should be made to walk in your shoes for a while before are at all qualified to comment – or should I say totter in your heels? Your love and care for your kids shines through and Boo is a star.
concerned should get a cracker pass – she’s all cheese.
don’t get me started on the CONCERNED people who never made it to one appt at the neurologist with me. but that didn’t stop one person for wondering if she should call child protective services when she witnessed us lie about our baby’s age because we needed a break from strangers’ reactions being all “OMG HE IS HOW OLD? ARE YOU SURE? OMG HE IS SO SMALL!!”
she told a mutual friend she wanted to turn us in, because ‘we didn’t appear to be taking his problems seriously’.
oops. i got a little bit started.
wow. craziness. i am not feeling eloquent right now, but let me just say that I love how you can keep a sense of humor and laugh AND delight in your son’s uniqueness. that is not ridiculing him.
My sons are unusual. usually I love it. sometimes I do get tired. we do what we can though, right?
*waving to Darla* HEY! small blogging world!!!
*waving back at Goldie*
Featured on Good Mom/Bad mom on the Houston Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/5m4rgg
Dear “Concerned”,
Since you have SO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS, please take our Autistic children and give them the care that they need for a few weeks. We OBVIOUSLY need a break to sort through our fabulous shoes and coffee collections and decide what we should really keep. (Plus our bladders are REALLY REALLY full from never being able to pee, so we should empty them.) The break will be appreciated by all of us. And you will be such a BETTER PARENT than us.
Sincerely,
Mom’s The World Over
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