Like when did I get so fucking OLD that I am shaking my head at the young folk and telling them to turn that damn music down. Admittedly it is cause I want MY music to be louder. But telling them to turn it down all the same.
I mean, I am hip with the happenin’ thang and awesome and shit, but fuck me dead some things are just…
…duuuuuuude what were you thinking? Or drinking, or smoking or did you take that open can of Pepsi from that weird guy with the bulging backpack full of ropes and duct tape?
A lot of the Damn Emos friends are getting piercings. I am all for ‘self expression’ and shit, heck when I was a teen I looked like a fuckwit with all my plastic bangles and finger nail piercings (oh yes I did) and fucking poodle perm but as long as I avoided my mums little box brownie all was good. No permanent damage.
And I could always deny it was me. (um, did I just say heck in that last paragraph? Fuck.)
But this shit? Wondering how cool you will think you are when you are trying to get a job or talk to your kids teachers at parent teacher night. Methinks you will need to carry around a barf bag as a courtesy.
Now the Damn Emos friends are not THAT bad. They are all this:
and a little bit of this:
and the double/triple ear and nose piercings. But still. Eighty and wrinkly. Think about it.
But now I am thinking they are not so bad. Not after consulting my mate google in looking for pics of people that are not my kids friends. Cause I wouldn’t want their parents freaking out that their kids were on my blog or anything. You know cause a 14 year old with fleshies is like good parenting and shit.
I skipped over the obvious fucknuckles with their tattooed and thousand piercing faces, cause that is just too easy. But these are all what the fuck were you thinking, like the dude up the top there.
Colds and flu would be down right messy. Not to mention kissing. And kissing someone with the other rite of passage of many teens, braces, would be fucking dangerous. And then there is the whole food/mucus thing.
As an aside, Too informs me today that mucus does not in fact taste like chicken.
But the back ‘corseting’ and the scarring freak me out the most.
So does this mean I need to go and crotchet a nanna blanket and yell at the kids to get the hell off my lawn? Do I need to start eating dinner at 4pm and going to bed after the news headlines at 6? Should I get a pair of these?
They say you need to keep your mind active, lest you lose your marbles and in my 36 years I have misplaced quite a few. Wait! Stop looking. I found them in the freezer… along with my belt and the electricity bill… so I have been thinking, to keep my mind in tact cause I am old and shit you see, I might try and convince the kiddies that this is the latest trend…
Yeah. Cause it can double as somewhere to rest their drink or volunteer at the local church as the collection plate.
And mocking laughter is a proven therapy. Well maybe not the mocking part.