Mosh!

by Kelley

We are freaky people.

But you knew that.

Do you know what this is?

It is a mosh pit.

As is our kitchen.

We have a galley kitchen. You get 5 people in one space. One mother in a silly mood. One call of MOSH! And you have teh awesome all over the kitchen.

Arms and legs and squeals of delight.

And one delusional woman thinking she can crowd surf by jumping off the top of the freezer…

Here is a tip. Four people and a bunneh do not make a big enough crowd to surf on. Cause they are all ‘oww’ and ‘muuuuum’ and ‘um, honey do you think that is a good idea?’ ‘don’t mosh me mummy!’

Freaking wimps.

I am all ‘What you complaining about? That freakshow muscle kid was lifting more than his body weight at half your age so suck it up and hoist me over your head you pussies!’

I need to get me some hard-arse kids, not these weak Damn Emos. I swear I heard Amy (the bunneh) listening to Escape the Fate the other day…

Or as we like to call them es-carp-eh teh fart-eh – Thankyou Dory.

Meh.

Wanna mosh with me? Just let me load the dishwasher first.

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PhotoCrank Your Comments | Blogging Sueblimely: July 14, 2008 at 1:25 pm

{ 40 comments }

1 Marylin July 9, 2008 at 6:57 am: How bloody dare they not let you crowd surf… wimps indeed!

Don’t forget the laundry too…!
2 the planet of janet July 9, 2008 at 6:59 am: hey… that give me an idea……..
3 Sully Sullivan July 9, 2008 at 7:01 am: man, can you go back in time and be my mommy? You sound like a pretty awesome mom.
4 Alison July 9, 2008 at 7:28 am: I have counters that face each other…we could chest bump in the middle and then surf through the “crowd”!!
5 lceel July 9, 2008 at 8:10 am: God, you are the LUSTIEST woman. I think I love you and I would like to be your sex slave.
6 Bettina July 9, 2008 at 8:16 am: Don’t ya know that’s a little undignified for a woman of YOUR age lmao
7 Sunshine July 9, 2008 at 8:46 am: My goal in life is to one day mosh with you in your kitchen.
8 witchypoo July 9, 2008 at 8:56 am: I think I might be able to have a good time at your place
9 Kel July 9, 2008 at 8:59 am: You’ve given us another taste of your awesomeness!

I’ve got a galley kitchen too, but I never thought about moshing in it. Excellent idea! Minus the crowd surfing part.
10 hotmamamia July 9, 2008 at 9:46 am: Fits right in there with my hot flashes!
11 Suze July 9, 2008 at 10:02 am: You, are a complete loon. Tres cool.
12 Doodaddy July 9, 2008 at 10:05 am: Just add a food fight. Then they’ll stop complaining and just throw an eggplant at you.
13 Jayne July 9, 2008 at 10:17 am: Threaten them with

A) sweet potato

OR

B) leaving your bedroom door open
14 tiff July 9, 2008 at 11:08 am: A mosh pit, you say?

*thinks to self sounds like something good for five pre emos and two emos in the making to be doing for their mother*

Of course, I might have children pancakes if I jumped into the mosh pit, LOL.

Now, there’s an idea.
15 Meg July 9, 2008 at 12:24 pm: You are raising emos–shame!!
16 Sandy (Momisodes) July 9, 2008 at 12:28 pm: Woohoo! I want my hand stamped!

I have some pretty long hair I can whip around
17 Maternal Mirth July 9, 2008 at 12:42 pm: consider me part of your pit. MOSH pit. Not arm.
18 muvar July 9, 2008 at 1:04 pm: lol i forgot all about the mosh pit lol

rgds

muvar
19 kitty polestar July 9, 2008 at 1:34 pm: Putting on too much eye makeup and repeatedly dyeing your hair and being consumed by self-loathing and existential angst does not build crowd-surfable arm muscles. Put ‘em to work scrubbing floors and walls and toilets. Then try again.

I’ve got a balcony thing over my living room which is really good for pretending you’re in the Breakfast Club dancing in the school library ….. When you coming over?
20 Maria July 9, 2008 at 1:52 pm: Damn weak armed emos. Pfft.
21 Laura July 9, 2008 at 2:19 pm: Bloody hilarious image!

Woosy emos.
22 Zoeyjane July 9, 2008 at 2:38 pm: The last time I moshed or crowd surfed, my best friend (at the time)’s bikini was stolen from under her dress while Green Day were playing. Ah, the 90s.
23 anja July 9, 2008 at 5:44 pm: *giggles* Mummies playing teenager. *giggles*
24 Kylie July 9, 2008 at 6:04 pm: Ha, my daughter loves “emo style” but listens to hip-hop. My husband continues to call her Elmo.

I don’t think she would let me crowd surf in my kitchen, but you’ve given me a fab idea for my boys. They’d be all over it! But I’d probably wind up with a concussion…again.
25 river July 9, 2008 at 7:15 pm: Bettina – what be this foreign word “undignified” that I haz never heard before……..

Let’s all Mosh on over to Kelley’s for a fun day.
26 Tess July 9, 2008 at 9:49 pm: Sigh! If I tried to mosh in my kitchen someone would probably be dead!

You rock!
27 whymommy July 9, 2008 at 10:31 pm: Awesome. Freakin’ awesome.

So … which picture of you are we taking to BlogHer? I vote for the avatar, just cause it makes me smile every time I see you.

And check my shoes, to see if they’re Kelley-worthy. (They almost never are.)
28 GoaldeeBug July 9, 2008 at 11:45 pm: You are one crazy, crazy bitch! MWA!
29 German Romance July 10, 2008 at 12:02 am: I can help you with the mosh .
30 Slick July 10, 2008 at 2:04 am: A moshpit in the kitchen??

Throw in some food and count me in!
31 Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children July 10, 2008 at 4:39 am: I had a very similar kitchen back in college! Oh the memories.
32 Xbox4NappyRash July 10, 2008 at 5:43 am: I honestly didn’t understand a fucking word of that
33 Photo Momma July 10, 2008 at 8:26 am: Found you through The Redneck Mommy.

It’s taken me about a week and a half but I think I’ve read all your archives. Whew!

You left me in tears of laughter and exasperation at feeling your frustration.

Kisses!
34 VE July 10, 2008 at 9:31 am: I know what you mean. I was just at the funeral home the other day and tried to crowd surf…you know, lighten the mood. Boy, what a bunch of sour pusses…
35 Monnie July 10, 2008 at 9:33 am: For a minute there I thought that picture was actually of your kitchen. I think I need a coffee.
36 Ree July 10, 2008 at 11:47 am: I have been in a real honest-to-gawd mosh pit. I was pissing my pants.

In fright.

I always knew you were a better woman than I.
37 Traci July 11, 2008 at 1:22 am: I am so trying this when my kids are older. lol
38 diesel July 11, 2008 at 1:32 am: I think as long as you avoid counter-diving, you’ll probably be ok.
39 Sueblimely July 11, 2008 at 7:23 am: Expect some PhotoCranks visiting your site who add unseen comments to your images. Evil laugh.
40 BusyDad July 11, 2008 at 10:31 am: Nothing says family harmony more than a “pit” smack dab in the middle of the home. Kumbaya… oi oi oi oi!