You know that Murphy guy? Of the Murphy’s Law clan? You know how that arsehat likes to fuck with my mind?
Yeah well the bastard is back. And no amount of super waterproof 24 hour mascara is staying put right now.
The last two weeks have been amazing. I find myself grinning like a maniac just contemplating the wonderful gains Boo has made in the last fortnight.
Those of you that are new Hi! and let me explain a little about my Boo (ol’timers, skip this bit and make yourself a cup of something and I will be right with ya) I feel I need to do this because some people get a little confused when they think that he is a typically developing kid. They are all ‘WTF girl? Why are these things making you so freaking happy or freaked out. Just MAKE him do it /eat it /whatever’. Or then there is the whole ‘nothing a good smack ain’t gunna fix’.
Boo has Autism. The ‘take him home and love him’ kinda Autism. The ‘you are gunna get fucking dirty looks from the world or worse, pity looks for the rest of your life’ kinda Autism. The ‘fuck, I don’t know if I can do this forever toddler shit for the rest of my life’ kinda Autism. Rain man, but cuter and with far superior siblings. The kid in Mercury Rising but with more language. Aiming for ‘My name is Sam’ kind of future, but without the kid and me still in the picture. On the other side of the coin, he has a Mensa eligible IQ, is a computer whiz, makes his own movies and cartoons, can draw anything from memory and the funniest kid you will ever meet. EVER. Everyone loves Boo, cause he is freaking awesome. Not in a ‘what a sweet little kid’ kinda way, in a ‘WOW, that kid is freaking AWESOME and FUNNY and AMAZING!’
Anyway, back to the story.
In the last couple of weeks Boo has been Sleeping. Through. The. Night. This in itself is fantabulous. Boo doesn’t particularly care for sleep. He believes it is over-rated. Over rated by Mummy that is, being that Mummy is his preferred dance partner during his all night raves. So the fact that he has been asleep BEFORE 10PM!!! FOUR times in the last two weeks has been *swoonable*
He went to school camp and had a ball.
He is teaching himself French.
Those of you following me on Twitter (and if you don’t, why not! No matter, my updates are on my sidebar) will know that the other night Boo ate roast beef. For the first time in his life. I gave him a tiny piece on his plate. ‘No peas till you have eaten a bite of meat’ – what parent SAYS that? Like the fight in the supermarket a few weeks ago when I wouldn’t let him buy vegetables. It wasn’t as if he was going to eat the bastards, he would just line them up on the bench and flap his arms and squeal at them, but the other shoppers weren’t to know that. They just saw a fat kid begging for veggies and his Mum saying no. Oh, yeah people, my life is a hoot! But the meat thing? Not only did he eat it, but went back again three times. ‘Yum’
So, sleeping, eating new foods, learning French for Christsakes! and doing really really amazingly well at school.
Murphy’s favourite combination. Fucking hope. He hates that shit.
This morning when I got to school his teacher, aide and I gushed about how wonderful he has been lately. Amazed at his amazingness. Got to work. People notice my glowingness. And it is not just kicking Moo’s arse on the Wii Fit (another thing you will have to watch Twitter for updates) it is the hope! and restfulness! and the freaking kick arse heels I was wearing. I feel awesome.
And then Murphy kicks me in the guts. And I go down.
Call from school. Boo is losing his shit. Boo has hurt a child. Boo is standing toe to toe arguing with the one teacher he has always obeyed and respected. Boo is scaring the living shit out of everyone.
I pack up my desk, blow off the phone calls I have to return to arsehats that don’t have two brain cells to rub together yet still manage to call themselves ‘accountants’ and ‘solicitors’, yell to one of my workmates that is standing agape as she listened conversation I had with Boo’s aide while chucking shit in my bag, that I will be back Monday. I think.
Jump in the car and fly warp speed to the school. I wonder if I am going to be able to handle this. Alone. I have started lifting weights, but if this kid actually wanted to hurt me he could. I call the doctor and try and make an appointment. Ear infections can set him off like this. He usually has a period of amazing gains and then a meltdown just before his ear starts leaking. Cause the kid just doesn’t feel pain and is happiest and complaint when sick. I explain this and say the words I despise ‘severely Autistic’ ‘will probably tantrum in the waiting room’ ‘need a quiet space’ and she puts me on the emergency waiting list.
Fuck.
I throw the phone across the car.
Careen into the car park and fly up the steps. I can feel the ‘clack clack clack’ of my heels reverberating through my brain. But no screaming. My blood pressure goes down a little. Either he has calmed down a little or has fallen asleep.
I find his aide waiting for me at the office. His teacher from last year P, is there too. We discuss what went down while another aide monitors Boo in the IT room. He is quietly doing a powerpoint presentation, oblivious to the chaos that he has caused.
Boo grabbed a child and tried to throw him to the ground for not eating his apple. Boo has been screaming and yelling since 9.15am. Five minutes after I left to go to work. Anger and tears and punching himself so hard in the head that his head was bobbing back and forth like those bobble head things.
And screaming. And screaming. And screaming.
I compose myself and walk into the IT room. His aide and P, trailing behind. Boo’s face lights up when he sees me. I try to keep my ‘angry face’ on and not run to him and smother him in kisses. Or cry.
‘Mummy!’
‘Hey, Boo. Mrs. G called me because you have been naughty’
‘Oh…. Yes.’
‘What happened Boo? Why did you hurt L?’
‘He didn’t eat his apple’
‘So? You are not the boss of L are you?’
‘No. But wasting Mummy!’
‘Doesn’t matter mate. You know you are not allowed to touch other people like that’
‘But…’
‘No Boo. I am very angry. I had to leave work to come and get you. Mrs G and P are cross too. Why were you naughty today? Does your ear hurt?’
‘No. Are you happy of me yet?’
‘No. Not yet. Come on we have to get your bag and go home’
We go to the classroom. My heart drops. The kids are not there. Mrs G sees my face and assures me that the kids were not removed, they have sport. I hug her, cause she knows me so well.
Boo and I walk to the car, with Mrs G trailing behind to make sure all is well. We get in and I inform Boo there will be no after school trip today (the usual routine) because he doesn’t deserve it.
Instead of the usual ear piercing screams of protest, he just looks at me. Deep into my eyes and says..
‘OK.’
He understands.
We get home, he goes inside. He strips naked and draws and draws and draws. His obsession. The 20th Century Fox logo.
He is calm.
I fall apart. Great heaving sobs of sadness, grief and relief. I press the pillow against my face so he can’t hear. My stupid fucking ‘waterproof’ mascara all over my favourite pillow. We are out of freaking tissues again, damn you Moo and your incessant nail polish changes!!, so I go to the bathroom for some toilet paper to wipe my eyes.
And find this.
And it totally looks like a penis with hairy balls. And it cracks me up.
EDITED TO ADD:Ā A comment prompted me to add, if you feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say but want to comment anyway, cause you love me and I am awesome and stuff, tell me a joke.Ā I mean, look, I was cracked up by a hair tie…. I will love your knock knock joke.
{ 73 comments… read them below or add one }
Big hugs to you both. What a rough day. xxxx
ps And that totally is what I would’ve thought too re: the penis-hairband!
My god, you are one insane woman. You got through all that, have SO much patience with Boo (though, how could you not as he IS so freakin’ awesome!), and then crack yourself up over a hair elastic thingy. Loony woman.
Did you ever stop to think Boo’s awesomeness comes from his parents?
I think you are amazing, and should be secretly happy that I peer pressured you into posting. And that hairbow penis is gorgeous. And, My husband’s 29 yr old autistic brother got very upset and yelled at a two year old for staring and laughing at him in church Sunday.(The two year old, of course, wasn’t laughing at him, but was staring at him.) One of his insults to the two year old was, and I quote, “you are an uncivilized tyrant! Have more respect!”
Kelley, you have me in tears and killing myself laughing in one post. I’ve been lurking for a while, but felt the need to comment this time. You are a wonderful mother and have wonderful kids. I cannot imagine how you find the strength to cope with all that you do.
Cyber hugs, wine and chocolate from me to you.
And immediately I saw the hair elastic I thought the same thing too!
Oh wow, what a rollercoaster of emotion for you.
I am sure Murphy just needs a shot or two of Irish Whiskey to calm his kicking you in the shins tendencies.
With his crocs.
(Like you needed that in your comment box…)
You are one amazing mom and Boo an amazing kid. *Hugs* to you both for having such a rough day.
If it makes you feel any better…my hair-tie balls are much hairier.
Karen: Yeah, so I am not the only pervert then?
Suze: MPS keeps telling me he gets it from him. I tell him he gets his inability to aim in the toilet from him.
Shamelessly Sassy: I am totally teaching that to Boo to say next time someone looks at him funny for playing Tetris with the groceries.
Christina: Filthy minds are drawn together I think. Sometimes all I need is a big brain dump and I am better. See! All better now, pass the wine…
Jeanie: You are right! That bastard must wear Crocs.
Sandy: *snigger* show me your hairy balls!
Kelley – You did good! One little set back is nothing in the scheme of things; because look at all those other gains he achieved! And you’ve got one heck of a drawer, there.
Whenever I’m stressed from now on, I’m going to think of penises (penii?) made from hair ties.
Ya know, I always start to comment when you’re speaking about Boo but then I delete it and don’t comment at all. I never know what to say. I want to put something cocky and funny to make you smile… but sometimes I’m not sure that ‘funny’ is appropriate.
Being the serious grown-up and understanding what you’re going through is extremely difficult when you have no experience of things like this.
Let’s hope Boo has a better day at school and L eats that fucking apple today.
Chin up mate š
I vill zay zis only once,**deep breath**…
Sorry. Sorry that I needed the explanation, and also that the bad bits don’t spread themselves out a bit further. It’s shitty.
I also intend to use the ‘you are an uncivilized tyrant’ phrase next time my boss presents me with work to do, but I’ll spell it with an ‘s’.
Babe, you’re brilliant.
Put aside all the meltdown stuff, the big thing happened. Boo looked into your eyes, he UNDERSTOOD. There is a glimmer of light.
I had just finished reading this and was trying to think of something to say….
….When in comes David and he says,
“What the Hell! Why does that piece of string look like a dick?”
enough said..
xxx kim
No words, just ((( hugs )))
I would have called it “Kelley finds some hairy balls” but that’s just me š
You know you can always imagine that they are murphy’s balls as you rip the hairs off one by one………
I wandered over for the first time tonight, and I am already in love with how real you are and that you make a point of making it easy for someone new to get caught up quickly. I can’t even imagine being in your shoes, but I can tell by what you write that you find humor where it can be found, and I can relate to that method of approaching the harder parts of life because otherwise it upsets the balance of just how much suckage I think there should be.
Wow…my crappy day just was just crushed by yours, woman. No wonder you wanted my vino.
I do love getting to know you and your family better through these writings, though. A dash of raw emotion to your normal humour makes for the perfect blog.
Here’s your goddamn straw, Kelley. Geez, are you afraid of Huck germs? Or do you just want to get drunk faster? Both? Kay.
Alyndabear: And you wouldn’t believe it, he has been AMAZING again this afternoon! Save patting my belly and saying ‘Are you fat?’ *snort*
MrsFancyPants: Well Fuckchops (I am totally using that all the time thanks to you) funny is good. I brain dump to get rid of the sad sack and then I am over it.
BoxBoy: It is more that I hate it when I mozz myself by being all happy and shit and then TELLING PEOPLE how wonderful it is. Cause then Murphy comes up behind me and punches me in the pancreas… bastard pancreas punching turdmunching arsehat.
Anja: I know. And then he was FINE ALL AFTERNOON! It was like the ‘recession we had to have’ of Keatings day, but will more gnashing of jaws.
Frogpondsrock: Bwaaa haaa haaaaa! Dirty David.
Marita: Thanks babe, s’all good now. Just waiting for wine time.
Bettina: YEAH! Or I should have called it ‘Murphy and the hairy balls’
Maggie’s Mind: Thanks for visiting and the wonderful words. Normally I am more potty mouth and full of ‘so and so is a total arsehat’ so time will tell if you change your opinion of me, hey?
I got a bit teary when I read …”Deep into my eyes and says O K. He understands”. There’s the real progress. Of course all the other progress is just as real and just as good. But he understood that his actions have brought about the consequence of no after school trip. And shame on L for not eating his apple. Doesn’t he know there are starving children in the world who would happily walk 5 miles through the snow and sleet with no shoes or coat just to get an apple?
Huckdoll: I was more worried about the dolphins in the bottle. I love ya and shit but I won’t drink your dolphins for no one… and you totally spelt humour right. I love ya just that little bit more now.
River: *snigger* at the apple thing. Don’t forget up hill both ways. The progress Boo has made lately is beyond what I have hoped. I guess today was just a release of emotion and pent up frustration.
words fail me – I don’t know how you do it – so brilliantly and still leave us in tears and laughing with you.
Hugs and I have those hairy ball elastics too.
That Murphy is a right asshat isn’t he?
At least Boo got it – why you were upset with him – that’s pretty damn good!
I like Bettina’s idea re the balls^^
Big hugs. I’m sorry your day was pretty tough. I love the 20th Century Fox logo – it’s so random! And that hair tye is awesome – I’ve often seen mine in that position and it’s great for a giggle – especially with the hairy balls! š
I meant to say that that drawing is fucking brilliant too.
Me coming back to say that, and just kind of hanging around is my way of saying, you know, well, you know.
Trish: Well show us your hairy balls. Lets start a revolution of bloggers showing off their hairy balls and have all the freakshows losing their minds when they are looking for pron and end up on our blogs!
Marylin: It was pretty awesome wasn’t it? It was all I could do to not break into a smile and high five the bastard. He knows just the right moment to melt my heart.
Katie: And now when you see your hairy hair tye’s you will think of me!
BoxBoy: ‘you know’ back atcha š
That’s not just a penis and balls, that’s a penis and *hairy* balls!
(You are a terrific mom, and that drawing of 20th Century Fox is one of the most life-filled Bossy has ever seen.)
Oh, and Bossy added you to her blogroll, hold the mayo.
Kelley, I found something to make you smile after all…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/coventry_warwickshire/7404582.stm
It’s Ugg related š
Shite mate….rough day.
Will a vodka martini and a cyber hug do just a teensy bit? {Hug}
and now I’m seeing freaking hairy balls in shoelaces. And you will be pleased to know that I saw some pink fur lined crocs – and was truly grossed out.
BTW: you just lost! š
You totally rock. So does Boo. And the hairy ball hair tie. (Not necessarily in that order, either.)
Here I was lamenting about my 5 year old who in the last 24 hrs, has managed to break a ballerina snow globe (lasted 18 days), paint the carpet (after scaling the kiddy fence to get the paint) and wet her pants from one end of the house all the way to the toilet. Last week it was so much loo paper that the toilet overflowed, and she cleaned up the evidence herself (thinking I wouldn’t notice the wet towels in the laundry basket).
But LMAO at the hairy balls, amazed at Boo’s awesome drawing, and sending you big hugs š
Hugs to you. What a shitass day. I’m sorry.
I don’t even have a joke to tell you because all of my stupid jokes are from my students and they involves motions! DAMN THEM!
That Murphy guy? Total turd. This meltdown doesn’t appear so bad in the scheme of things. He received his consequences well, you vented and got over it, break out the wine! My chile hates to see anyone wasting food too, he’s a bit of a nazi that way. He also draws and writes screenplays to explore his current obsessions. I wish I had blogs to refer to when he was younger, or even the internet for research. I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants. I still enjoy reading how others cope, the humour gene is essential! You owns it.
Great drawing
Crap day to end most crap days (but I’m sure you’ve had crappier days – be honest)
And that bloody HOPE stuff will bite us in the ass every fuckin time!!!!!!!!!! Chronic sorrow bites!
Its a good thing that he understood and made that eye contact with you – two steps forward kiddo, and a bit of a stumble. But on the whole, onward and upward.
And the perfect ending – hairy balls and a dick ….Mmmmm, I think I hear my hubby in the bedroom calling..LOL
Clinkers and red to you hon
I wish I had some words of wisdom or advice. All I’ve got is my offer to knock off Murphy for you. He needs to swim with the fishes. Give yourself a hug and some chocolate. You’re a great mom dealing with a terrible day. Hang in there.
It’s always when I feel my worst that the absurd pops up to make me laugh. I think your brain was subconsciously looking for something else to latch onto. And psychologically speaking, there’s probably something there that it was a hairy dick.
He sounds wonderful. And NORMAL, for someone with Autism. Two steps forward and one step back, right?
That’s what I love about coming here. Only you could turn a hairband into a phallic symbol!
I am so sorry to hear about your awful day. I wish I could give you a big hug.
A joke:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Smell-mop.
Smell-mop who?
if you read this one right, it’s very funny… and many other varieties can be conjured up. And it’s safe for kids! Love it.
And, Love YOU! Keep the faith. You’re doing a great job. š
I see you found my calling card in the bathroom.
A Joke:
A little girl asked her mother, ‘How did the human race appear?’
The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.’
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, ‘Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?’
The mother answered, ‘Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.’
You gained my respect the moment I first stumbled across your blog … I didn’t know it was possible, but I think I may worship you now.
The Church of Magneto?
Magneto Boldism?
Magnetology?
Hey, you pick … it’s your religion.
*hugs*
I think it should be Magnuddism (notice how I got the ‘NUDe’ in there).
And boo is an amazing artist – doing that stuff from memory. Encourage that. Nurture that. That could be his ticket to independent living, someday.
How come YOU can say f.U.C.K. but I have trouble posting a comment that has the word “n.u.d.e.” in it?
OH. MY. GOD.
I will never look at a hair tie the same way again!!! Laughing my ass off over here! Sorry for Boo’s bad day. I hope you get months of good ones to balance it out.
You know what, I really hope those hairs on that bobble turn out to be pubes.
Blerg. That Murphy is a bastard. Hugs to you.
It’s a trip to think about the logic that goes on in the little dudes’ heads. Complex and fascinating and weird and terrific.
Murphy fucks with me a lot too. I hate the jerk. You are an amazing mom, you know that? And though your day must have been horrendous, just know, HE UNDERSTOOD.
That’s a good thing, right?
P.S. You crack me the hell up…a hairy penis and balls. A shrink would love to hear what your answers are to an ink blot test!
What does Murphy think he is up to ??? The asshat.
Wonderful news about the eating !!!!! I am so with you on that.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo Hoo?
Why are you crying?
I’m a new reader, but you are amazing so I will now be a regular reader!
Knock, knock.
Kelley, you’re amazing. Boo, too. But really you.
Aw fuck. I have no words to comfort, to inspire, to humor. All I have for you is “fuck fuckity fuck-fuck”. And I wish I had me some hairy balls and penis instead of what I had to deal with today. All my love…
Hey, I’m NOT First! Yay me!
Look, not first again!
Aw, Kel. I know you’ve been so thrilled with Boo’s sleeping through the night and eating and everything. But maybe this is just a slight little backslide…and based on what you’ve said, the look in his eyes, he understood…and doesn’t that speak volumes by itself….
And if I knew a knock knock joke, I’d tell it. Instead, I send you a couple of licks…and smootches.
Hey Kelley: I work around autistic and mentally challenged kids and adults 5 days a week, and it is one of the real pleasures of each and every work day. We have about 130 clients where I work hear in South Mississippi, and I have learned so much about them and FROM THEM during this past year and a half! I love having the opportunity and privilege of interacting with and being a small part of their lives. Amazing souls!
Stop sobbing woman, your son will be the Kick Arse Waste-Not Compost Ninja of All Suburbia!
He will leap tall French buildings in a single garlic bound, he will run faster than a roast beef through gravy and mint peas, he will use his Awesomeness Power for inducing sleep into the minds of Wasteful Children and, most of all, The Kick Arse Waste-Not Compost Ninja of All Suburbia will accept his Oscar Award and blame his mum for his freakin’ awesomenicity š
Bossy: But I like mayo… and squee! thanks babe. Will add you to the list of poor souls waiting to be included on mine.
MrsFancyPants: What a classy dude. Wonder if he will make the baby some Uggies in jail?
Scrappydo: You must have some hairy arsed feet to find that shit in shoelaces. And you just lost too.
A: And so do you babe. You all rock my world.
Meg: Sending the hugs back atcha babe. Major suckage there with all the rest you are dealing with right now. I need an update woman.
Alison: Poo jokes? I lurve me some poo jokes..
Witchypoo: I find myself lamenting that I didn’t have a blog when he was younger in OMG TWENTY FOUR HOUR A DAY therapy. That would have made for some interesting reading. Well for me anyway! Perhaps Boo and Ass Burger Boy could get together and be the next big thing!
Laura: I read this as MPS was walking out the door. I yelled for him to come back in and told him in no uncertain terms to not return without clinkers. Thanks babe!
Jean: thanks babe, consider me hugged.
Moo: That is so true. Today I have been able to see that. Yesterday I didn’t. Thanks to all of you, wine and sleep!
VE: And you wouldn’t have thought that? C’mon. Maaaaaate… You know you totally saw it too.
Sensitiva: Back atcha! Oh and I had to read it a couple of times before I got it.
Iceel: Well now it is holding back my hair. That is appropriate isn’t it?
Alison: Close to the truth here. While MPS is descended from monkeys, I am from the Goddess.
Maternal Mirth: Just call me Your Awesomeness or Goddess of the Internets. Yeah that’ll work. Oh and send me all your money.
Iceel: You are a wonderful wordsmith there. And Boo has actually had his work shown already. His drawing was also chosen as the World Autism Congress logo. He was 3. One day I will post some of his work.
lceel: Cause I am a dirty bitch and you are civilized. Oh and by the way is it ‘iceel’ or ‘lceel’ I am never sure with this stupid font so I chop and change as my mood strikes me. I will still do that regardless of what you say, but others might wanna know š
Melain: Oooh that is a good thing to aim for. OK, universe! Yesterday sucked major puss balls you need to give me 2 months of shit free bliss. Oh and win lotto. Just a million or so, I am not greedy.
BoxBoy: Oh you utter utter bastard. You know that thing is in my hair now don’t you.
Stimey: When you step back it is amazing. But as you know, when you are living it, you just wanna find some unsuspecting lepers to kick.
Mrs Schmitty: I can only imagine what my responses would be. Wonder if there is an online test….
Widdle Shamrock: I knew you would appreciate the eating thang. Right now he is eating a twig with a side of tshirt. Swings and roundabouts..
Magpie: That wasn’t funny! Sweet though š
Ange: It is liberating when you can say fuck on someones blog innit? Smootches babe.
Ree: Smootches and licks received, enjoyed and flung back atcha.
Coast Rat: what do you do exactly? You might be able to help me with an increasingly frustrating defiance problem we are having with Boo!
Jayne: You must have snuck in while I was doing that mammoth reply. You crack me up you madwoman!
My very best friend has a son very much like yours and I hear these ups and downs all the time…it’s very difficult what you both do, and oh so rewarding too. I’m going to share your link with her. xoxo
hugs kel and tell that murphy to pi$$ off or just do some ninja a$$ kicking of your own but dont scratch any of your pretty shoes ok..
hugs to boo.
not only that, I bet you held it in your mouth while you gathered your hair back didn’t you…
Dude. DUDE. Have you met my BFF yet? You Really need to.
Karen: Except for mummy meltdown days like this, it is just like having a very tall 2 year old. A two year old that’s fav word right now is ass. The American pronunciation.. Look forward to hearing from your friend š
Nicole: You can only kick Ninja barefoot. It is like a rule or something.
BoxBoy: *vomit* Yeah, I did. *vomit*
Mr Lady: Is there supposed to be a link there or are you just teasing me woman, with all your ‘friends’.
Definitely Magneto boldism!
Hugs from here. I know from experience the awful feeling you get when you get a call at work about one of your kids. And my kids don;t have any disablities. In my case it was because D (aged 2.5 at the time) had been crying at day care from 7:00am to 11:00am! It turned out he had a serious ear infection. I was furious!
Not a knock knock..
Little girl: Mummy can I go outside and play with the kitten?
Mum: No, you’ve already dug her up three times this week.
Murphy needs to be fitted for a pair of concrete crocs.
Kelley, i just want you to know that you are my hero, okay.
Just that.
Ohhhhhh, maaaaaaan.
I can’t imagine for even one second what this is like. The good news? Your details help the rest of us get it, the ones who have kids in school and don’t understand how to deal with another kid throwing them down. This empathy is important. Critical.
Wonderful, brave post, wonderful, brave Kelley.
So sorry for your pain. š
This is my first time reading you. I will be back because.. I don’t know. What a story. What a life.
And I LOVE that you’re lifting weights.. it’s about building the muscle to handle the heavy crap that hurls toward us and then fling it back.
Wow.
Tess: Awww, poor little mite. Hope he was OK once he saw mummy.
River: Bwaaaa haaa haaaa!
Tiff: and you are mine, so we need to make our capes together k?
Maggie: Thanks babe. Turns out he just grabbed L. L was cool about it. Funny thing is L is a bully, but loves Boo and is his main protector.
Kiki: It is also about a child who is as tall as me and freaking STRONG who can knock me down. Who doesn’t realise YET that he can beat me to a pulp.
So – never never never let him listen to the count censored or he’ll sing it at school?
ps your shoes look great today!
I totally agree with River. Concrete crocs. Love it.
*hugggggggggggg*
Sounds as though you need some martial arts training. I can totally see you in kick-ass heels beating up a punching bag Buffy-style… but a helluva lot better of course. Cos Buffy was just a whiny teen with a ‘gift’. You, however, are a caffeine- and chocolate-fuelled awesome mumma with super powers… š
Sheesh… what an eye opener this post is, for people like me without kids and no knowledge of raising them or taking care of them, especially if those kids are not your standard issue brats. The man I love could undoubtedly relate to this post, and so for educating me in those matters through this written glimpse into your daily life, thank you.
I’m sending big fat juicy hugs down to you. I’m late reading this, but X told me I had to. And for once, I listened to him and glad I did.
I’m going to make my own hair-tie peen and balls art.
Huge massive round of applause for such an excellent post, I read it twice:) The ups and downs – so familiar :’) Boy genius though? Wow. Any uploading more pictures? That’s a well impressing logo from memory, I’d say modern artists aren’t a patch on Boo.
The fuzzy phallus cracked me up, you filthy bitch.
I just started reading some of your story about you & your Boo. I am always amazed by people like you who have been dealt a crazy hand in life but are still funny, amazing, and making it with a sense of humor. You are awesome.
Hmm, you don’t need any more comments, but Xbox sent me, and this was a great post. I hope your smooth, sleeping and eating routine is continuing. And failing that, that God sends you more lifesaving household graffiti.
We have sleeping and eating issues in our house too. Just, more run of the mill ones š
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