I have the lurgy. The sucky crappy whiny bug.
And I got my period. A week early.
So yeah, I am a joy to be around.
Oh and lets not forget the zit the size of a planet that has taken up residence on the side of my chin and throwing off my balance. And I sound like a tranny. Without the fabulous makeup and hair.
People keep asking me to speak and then laughing their as-soon-as-I-get-better-I-am-going-to-kick their arses off. And with the planet and head trapped in a vice and the sweatiness my aim is off and instead of punching them in the pancreas, I am stumbling and looking like a lop sided drunkard.
Which is pissing me off more. And making them laugh harder.
Arsehat fucktards.
So instead of a whiny my throat is sore and I feel like shit post I thought I would regale you with a tale from my girls normally wonderful school.
A few days ago Too lost her ipod.
This ipod. The first kid in the school to have the new generation ipod as SOON as they were realeased before they were in the shops ipod.
I ripped her a new arse while she flailed in agony. Her identity. Her entire Emo-ness was stripped from her.
Last night I decided she had enough pain and offered her MPS’s ipod (Moo’s cast off) and MPS could have mine. Yeah, I am nice like that. Guess no housework can be done any more with out my Culture Club and 80’s dance off moves.
Nothing like mopping the floor to Church of the Poison Mind. I am all silly and giggly and legwarmerish.
And Stutter Rap. I loves me some stupid 80’s music.
Anyway. As usual, I digress. You should be used to it biatches.
Today at school, during the announcements, the kids were informed that an ipod was handed in.
Too was certain it was not hers, however she went to the office anyway.
‘What is the name of your ipod and describe it.’ She was requested by the office lady.
She complied.
Apparently it was taken home by one of the office ladies to find this information. Because it couldn’t be plugged into the school computers cause it was configured for a Mac.
‘Um, what does it say on the back?’ Too enquired.
The office lady turned it over.
And saw Too’s first AND last name engraved on the back…
Thank God these people aren’t teaching the kids. But they are handling the money.
Hmmmm.
{ 33 comments }
They also administer your children’s medications. *raises a brow*
Oh babe! You’ve got a dose of the shits, a zit and if you’re filling your Mooncup *sniggers* probably a dose of aching tits.
Life sucks like a gummy hooker, doesn’t it?
Oh yuck. I was at the sounding-like-a-tranny stage not long ago, it really sucks. Hope you feel better soon!
In my experience, school admin staff can usually count AND spell better than the teachers…
It went all the way home with somebody, then back to school and in all that time NO-ONE turned it over??? Mindboggling.
There’s a similar bug going around my neck of the woods, bless my immunity……
Sounds like the office peoples at my school. Boy goes to the medical room with blood pouring down his face, (nosebleed), and the woman goes to him “So, why have you come to the medical room?” Because it wasn’t obvious at all.
Hope you feel better soon!
Goaldeebug: Good point!
Anja: You don’t know the half of it babe. Moo’s school formal is tomorrow night and half the school is coming here to get ready!
Naomi: Yeah, that is usually the case isn’t it? At Boo’s school they are AWESOME and know more about what is going on than anyone else. Moo and Too’s school, not so much.
River: I find it hysterically funny! I am usually the immune queen, but this bastard snuck in.
Kath: *snort* I wonder if she required him to bring in a note. With pictures.
I still read you! I just run out of time to leave comments, but then that is what email is for, right?
A week early?
and here’s me thinking you were in a constant menstruative state.
I’ve had the indoor plumbing removed but I feel your pain….from memory and at a distance.
Engrave Too’s name on the office admin staff foreheads, they’ll learn to read it everyday in the mirror
The ones who teach the kids barely know what an iPod is!
What, are periods and lurgies linked??? Did they forget to tell us something??? I had both last week. This week I have the annoying left over cough, but thankfully no period.
Glad that Too got her iPod back. If you recommend that the office staff get Too’s name engraved on their foreheads make sure that it is mirror reverse so that they can read it in the mirror – otherwise they would be more confused than normal. Ugh, what a thought.
hmmmm………… no more periods………. haven’t had the lurgy for a while….. they must be linked!
sending chocolate covered butter menthols your way
Sucks to be you this week
At least Too got her iPod back so technically you’ll get yours back?
Hope yr feeling better soon!
This lucky turn of events would never happen to my son. He does pretty much everything wrong lately.
Dear God,
DON’T FUCK WITH MY PERIOD!
In His name we pray,
A-men
The amazing thing is – someone turned it in. That is outstanding. As far as the period and the lurgies are concerned, you’ll understand, perhaps, if I’m a little less than sympathetic. Like any man, I’ve been paying the price for those things for YEARS.
Whoa, that is pretty special. Like not writing your name on the S.A.T’s.
We should whine in unison. Aunt Flo paid me a visit too, and left me with a ginormous zit attached to every nerve in my body. So sexy…
Betcha the lunch lady would’ve had it all settled in 2.8 seconds.
I’m glad that she got her ipod back… it is truly devastating for teenagers to be without their music. I mean, where else do they keep their identities aside from their MP3 players!?
I was the same way. If you separated me from my CDs, I was not even sure who I was anymore.
Now I only forget who I am when you separate me from my wine bottle.
eugh eugh eugh…
…bitch funk, snot, Mount Vesuvius on your chin AND a man-ish voice – WOW YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE!!
I bet you’re a fucking pleasure to be around too!
Get well my friend
ah, the joys of the school office and the people who inhabit it.
so, now do you get your ipod back? and does this mean you will have a magical instant recovery?
ech. it was worth a try.
I can totally sing the Stutter Rap. For real. Loved that damn song.
good luck with the lurgy!
Veronica: Hrrupmh.
Xbox4NappyRash: There is the actual week pissedoffedness, ovulation snarkiness and week before wanna-punch-you-in-the-head-edness. So one week off for just generalised ‘annoyed’
Jayne: But backwards or they wont be able to read it.
Alison: LMAO. The teachers seem pretty computer savvy. Apparently a teacher that has since left – I wonder why – used to surf singles sites during class time.
Gemist: Seems Jayne and I are on the same wavelength…
Bettina: EWWWWW!
Marylin: Thankfully I hadn’t emptied mine yet so, YAY! I can do housework *gaffaw*
Sunshine: Awww, poor thing. Or grrrrrrr naughty boy…
Queen Goob: *snort* you are nuts. I pink puffy heart nuts. As long as they are salted.
Iceel: Seems you are the only one that noticed that. It is rather staggering! And now that you have the internet and so many chick readers you are going to be blamed and cursed from all over the world. Sucks to be you right?
Sandy: Oooh we can bring sexy back together.
Mr Lady: Here in Oz we don’t have lunch ladies. And our world is much poorer for it.
Sensitiva: I attach myself to a whine, I mean wine, bottle to forget who I am.
Mrs Fancypants: Oh yeah, I am considering entering my bloatedness into Australia’s Top model.
The Planet of Janet: I have my ipod but alas still freaking sick. Doing some amazing projectile sneezes though. Awesome one while I was driving. Straight on my windscreen. Ack. Pity no wipers on the inside… TMI?
Jenny: Get over here then. Boo and I have been trying on some breakdancing moves at the same time. Our awesomeness is astounding. Planning on putting on a show for the hordes of girls coming tonight.
Amanda: In what way. Kicking its arse into submission or trying to break some world record for projectile sneezing?
You or Mother Theresa. I don’t know who had more empathy and caring…
ROFLOL – that’s hilarious about the whole “name on the ipod” thing. Our office staff are always going on about people not naming things. That’s a classic!!!
You know, there’s a little round, white pill, and if you take it every single day, you DON’T GET YOUR PERIOD!!!! Ever. I love that little pill.
She got it back? That’s a miracle.
They never turned it over to see if there was a name on it? Interesting…
VE: Me. Mother Teresa had ugly shoes. I win.
Lightening: Rather ironic dontcha think?
Tracey: Unfortunately that little white pill gives me morning sickness. I am freaky like that.
great news that she got it back in this day and ages thats a miracle in itself. but not turning it over what a moron, but they could take it all the way home. me thinks that whoever found it turned it over and saw the name thats why they handed it in. no name no proof its not yours IYKWIM.
what a pain about the period. i hate it..
nicole
Wow you are so luck to get her things back, some stuff recently went missing from my house. We havent found them as yet, but fingers crossed.
Mwah ha ha haaargh! I’m glad she got it back although I feel nicole is bang on the money with her comment – nicked but returned when found to be named.
Cheers
BC
Hey babe – good news about the ipod, not your lurgy though. I hope you’re feeling a little better by now. And an early period is probably better than no period at all…
Nicole: I suspect you are right. As the name is engraved on the back it would take some serious scratching to get it off.
Lisa: Crossing for you too babe.
Babychaos: She is rather clever isn’t she
Meg: Seeing Boo is telling everyone I am pregnant. Again. At least I know I am not!
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