Not to the extreme of little o’ Ms Jackson, but enough to flame my cheeks people.
Lets start at the start, where all good stories of humiliation and embarrassment, well, start.
Boo is on night whatever of Sleep is An Optional Extra. All night dance raves happenin’, complete with this:
Oh yes my lovelies, he likes to shake his booty with coloured lights. And that is the power point that he was working on last night. Teenage Mutant Ninja Teletubbies and burgers. A delightful combination.
It is also day elevently hundred of freaking ‘Hot Damn, howz this heat!’.
So I am sleep deprived with melting breasticles, and man am I pissed. Yeah, more than usual.
And distracted. Not my usual ‘oooh shiny!’ distracted, more ‘oh where was I going? And how the fuck did I end up in this town, I thought I was just going to the supermarket?’ kinda distracted.
So this morning started in the usual way, sheep dogging kids to bathroom/shower/pack bags/off the computer/dress/get outta my way I need the freaking mirror too biatch, and hauling their arses off to school.
MPS and girls dropped off at train station. Popped into the supermarket for a couple of things. Boo to school. Long chat with teacher, and aide, and a couple of mums and then off to work.
As I am walking through the work carpark I catch up with K.
‘Oooh! Purdy yellow shoes!’ I exclaim. Still smarting that I am stuck with a choice of 3 pairs of fucking flats.
‘Aren’t they cute!’ she squeals back. A total shoe whore. I am so responsible for that.
‘Um, Kel, you have different shoes on.’
‘I have had these for ages, don’t start giving me shit about my…..’
she interrupts.
‘Kelley, look down’
Fuck me dead. I went to school, saw five billion people AND went to the supermarket and not one fucker said a thing.
Jumped in the car and raced home to change. One shoe.
The moral of the story is this children. Decide on what shoes you are wearing the night before, NOT in the middle of morning madness.
And, as promised, some more bling to fling.
Today’s installment of the fuck-Kelley-I-gave-you-that-bling-ages-ago bling fest are as follows:
First up is this from Stimey.
She said I was amazing and she loves me. Aww shucks.
Then this from Anja:
She is ruder than me. If that is at all possible.
This from Bettina:
um…. what? Apparently it says ‘Convulsive Compulsive Convolvulus Conviviality Bloggers’ but I am too tired and hot and freaking distracted to read it. I also got it originally from its birth mother Jayne at Our Great Southern Land.
That is enough for today. I still have MORE to fling, in honour of this stinking hot Tuesday afternoon (and not because I am lazy) I will award these to all of you. Take one, take them all, and take them with my thanks and appreciation for all your comments and emails that brighten my otherwise bad tempered, sarcastic, biatch on heels day.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
awwww kelley, gotta love the “matching” shoes 🙂 thanks for the bling the other day, so sweet. off to update my blog again 🙂
nicole
No shit! Blame it on the flats, right?!!?!? Bless your heart… have a chocolate martini (chocolate AND booze – can’t go wrong!!!).
Hope the toe is better.
Oh, as if you needed more, I tagged ya 🙂
LOVING the teenage-mutant-teletubbies. Have to show that one to my 6 year old! And a disco ball to boot! Whatta kid 🙂
Hope Tuesday is better 🙂
mmm I cant see the problem.. they were both flat.. both pretty.. looked like a pair to me..
hehehehehe
cheers Kim…
Having just woken up from a heat induced sleep deprivation badly needed 2 hour nana nap, I can fully empathise with the groggy confusion…
But I can’t see the problem with the shoes, they look fine! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
But your toenails are such a pretty color! They more than make up for that!
You missed a golden opportunity to start a fashion trend – two different shoes! I love them by the way, I’m all about flats.
As if anyone would DARE to question the shoe queen herself!!!! That could well have been a new trend you were starting there! LOL. Never mind, we all have “bad shoe days” – nice to know you’re normal after all. 😉
Good news – the cool change has arrived here today so should be well on it’s way to your neck of the woods anytime soonish (hopefully).
Oops – how embarrassment. I did that once so I know how you feel. At least your friend was brave enough to tell you!
Nicole: You are welcome. Always like to make the new commentors welcome, before I start abusing them that is.
Jodie: OMG the TMNT have been a staple in this house. Boo even made a movie about them. I should find it and post it on youtube…
And chocolate martini? *shudder* I don’t know…
Frogpondsrock: Um, yeah, OK then… LMAO
Jayne: Biatch. Oh how I wish for a nanna nap.
Gina: Yeah, except for the blue one…
Robin: You think it will catch on?
Lightening: I am not normal! Say it isn’t so!! As I type the wind is cooling down. Freaking hot wind all day had us all terrified of bushfires. Fingers crossed I think we managed to avoid them this year.
Meg: LMAO at the ‘brave enough’ I have known her since I was 18. So she still knows me as timid shy Kelley, so SHE is not scared of me.
OMG Kelley, I now have wet spots all over my screen… As if it doesnt look bad enough atm…
I’m so pleased I have a smile on my face now… But I am sorry for laughing… (he he… :P)
Heat exhaustion=melted brain=no words from me.
It’s cooler here now, so hopefully the brain will gel again.
ACK! Funny, but I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago! LOL
After being out in the damned things all day, I pick up my youngest (20) from the train and she says “Mum, did you know you have two different shoes on?”
All day… ALL DAY!
She has been giving me shit about it ever since, continually asking me to lift my feet so she can do a ‘wardrobe check’.
Whoa. Maybe this is like that thing where women’s periods synch up. I know goaldeebug spends a lot of time reading this blog, but FMD!
Ive been there! Done that!!
Now you see that wouldn’t have happened had you been wearing crocs. (stop so Kelley can wipe the splatter of wine that has just sprayed itself all over her monitor)
Mainly because however unlikely it would be for you to actually own crocs, it’s a billion times more unlikely that you would own TWO pairs.
😀
CB
kissies
At least she told you, right?
I like em. And they look good as a pair. This is the summer version of wearing socks that aren’t a pair right?????
This is a fear of mine, right up there with falling down the stairs and showing the world my undies! I have never actually worn two different shoes out but I change into `inside shoes` at school called uwabaki (http://www.intleducenter.umd.edu/images/elem/uwabaki.jpg aren`t they stunning??) and then when i go outside or leave I have to change back into my `outside shoes` Once I walked half way home in my uwabaki…..Everybody knows these shoes are just for inside use at schools so it was pretty damn embarrssing when I realied.
Now I check my shoes several time evertime I leave the house or school….
I feel your pain! Hope your toe is feeling better!
ps: My Japanese teacher in elementry wore two different shoes once….one blue and one brown. It was classy!
Exhaustion and heat have clearly taken their toll….at least both flats were cute!
I like the two different shoes! I think you could be a trend setter1
I am going to wear 2 different shoes all day and see if anyone notices!
I like the two different shoes! I think you could be a trend setter!
I am going to wear 2 different shoes all day and see if anyone notices!
You’ve started a trend. I have my cowboy boot and flip flop on right now…
Kelley – it’s a style trend! We don’t need no stinking matchy matchy shit!
I want to hear what your comments are going to be like in about 6 months, when you are deep in the middle of winter. If what we have been through this year is any hint of what your winter is going to be like, you’d better start stocking up, now. And make sure you have adequate covering for your sweaty breasticles because the won’t be sweaty for long. More likely frozen – and then they’ll just be breasticles. Which is something I enjoy considering, in a depraved sort of ‘lick my chops’ kind of way.
Your disgrace is my hearty laugh, so it’s alright with me. 🙂 LOL! How did you not feel that as you were walking about?!!! That is too damn funny. At least they were both cute shoes! That could be an interesting way for me to handle the situation next time I can’t decide between two cute shoes.
LOLOLOL
I’ve done the same damn thing!
I have two pair of loafers–exactly the same except one pair is brown–the other black.
I didn’t bother with the light–just stepped in and off to vote—stood their amongst my precinct mates blah blah blah—happened to go down stairs on leaving so I looked down at my feet and tah dah!!
And btw you should definitely come by my blog today–it’s drool worthy for shoe sluts 😉
I don’t normally blog whore like this but there is a reason this time…
http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/02/odd-shoes.html
I think you’re my Mama…
LMAO and it’s not like they’re even remotely similar either!
Kelley, honey.
This sweaty breasticle weather is doing you in. You could have replied, when said wardrobe malfunction was noted:
“Yes, isn’t it funky? I couldn’t believe it at first when I read it was the new craze in Milan”
If one HAS to wear flats (calm down, cleansing breaths, it’s all good) be an individual.
It can be your own personal “fuck you” for the day. 🙂
Lisa: My embarrassment is your entertainment. All is right with the world.
River: Isn’t it bliss! The cool change has arrived here, I have mopped up my breasts and feeling calmer.
Goaldeebug: *snort* When I told my girls they just rolled their eyes, looked at each other and smirked. Biatches.
MrGoaldeebug: Yeah, we are due soon so watch out. And stock up on chocolate.
Casdok: Phew. Nice to hear that so many other people are complete fuck ups like me.
Cellobella: Biatch. I am coming after you woman and beat you over the head with those freaking things. And then I will stuff those *shudder* ugg boots up your arse. But I will wait for winter so then your arse will be warm. I am nice like that.
Veronica: And she gave me shit about it all day. Nothing like having something over a friend to make their life hell.
Gemisht: *shudder* I haven’t talked about my odd socks aversion yet have I? Too does it all the time just to piss me off.
Lulu: *snigger* you win! Loser. 😉
Alison: and you were expecting them not to be????
Sorrow: Cool. I am a fashionista now!
VE: ooooh sexy! As long as either are NOT white.
Magpie: *gaffaw* ‘matchy matchy shit’!
Iceel: So should I shove some sticks in them and market them as Breasticle Pops? I could make a fortune! Oh wait, no I couldn’t seeing there are only 2…
Melain: They are the same brand so pretty much feel the same. And the fact that I am still limping, I honestly didn’t feel the difference.
Turnbaby: *sigh* were you wearing pants though? I was wearing a skirt, so REALLY obvious! I will be over as soon as I find the tissues to mop up the drool.
Xbox4NappyRash: Bwaaaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaa! You are a bigger loser than me! Bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa
Jenty: Yeah, shuddup 😉
Anja: Next time I do something stupid I will come to you for the witty come back. I always come up with them HOURS later!
I think they’re perfectly lovely together!
Hey, just dropping in via miscmum, and was totally chuffed to find out that other mums have done the mismatching shoe thing. I did it about 18 months ago with joggers – I had a normal white pair of New Balance cross trainers, and a beige pair that I could wear with brown jeans, etc. My error was pointed out to me by the assistant in Athlete’s Foot when she was fitting my daughters for shoes.
I have never lived down the fact that I there and then decided that I was just about due for a new pair of normal joggers anyway. Yes, I bought a new pair.
I didn’t even have the young child sleep deprivation excuse. Youngest by then 8 years old.
Chocolates. Noted. Also, doing my exercises so the hands are ready for the intense lower back massage (that’s for bug, you’ll have to find your own willing polynesian masseuse-slave 😛 ).
As far as the shoes go, I always thought mix-and-match was one of the major tenets of high-fashion-on-a-budget. Two pairs of shoes = three pairs of shoes! I say well done!
Well, I have an odd sock aversion too. Just. Can’t. Do. It.
And apparently this sort of thing is genetic too, but it gets worse as it travels through the generations – god help me if I am wearing mismatched bra and undies and my daughter sees. Biiiiig trouble LOL
I’ve gotta thing that anyone who knows about your love of shoes and saw your mismatched shoes just thought you were trying out a new look. They were prolly just wishing they were as cool as you. ;^)
Ree: I know you are just pulling my fabulously shoed leg…
Tracey: If I was anywhere but the carpark at work and unable to drive home and change, I would have done that too!
Mrgoaldeebug: Shhhh… don’t say the dreaded budget word!!! And bite me re the massages, last time I got one was for about 5 minutes 38 hours into labour with our first. And then he fell asleep.
Gemisht: LMAO, is her name Moo???
Beth: Of course, LOL
That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. And can I just say? Both shoes. ADORABLE!
Wow Kelly, I have the same shoes as you do (right foot!) I must have some shoe cred. Who woulda tht it…
Mwuhahah I must remember not to wear one of each ugghboot when winter starts. On the bright side, with limited shoes in the house, I dont really have the chance to make many mistakes, cause my nursing shoes look and feel nothing like my sneakers, my uggs or my little cute black flattish things (will take pic of them, they are my feminine shoes, which apparently must be rather noticeable cause lots of ppls commented lately).