She is gone.

by Kelley

in sadness, serious shit

She is gone.

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she’s gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she’d want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Silloth, Cumbria, UK

Rest in peace my dearest Grandma.

I love you.

*****************

Thankyou to everyone that has commented, emailed me, Twittered etc etc. It means the world to me that people I have never met care so much about me.

Grandma died this morning. My Auntie popped out to go home and get changed and she died while my Auntie was on her way back. But it was peaceful. It breaks my heart that no one was there to hold her hand.

Tagged as: death, death of a grandparent, sadness, She Is Gone poem

{ 53 comments }

1 frogpondsrock March 8, 2008 at 3:58 pm: Oh sweety.. big cyber hugs to you..We are thinking of you and your family.. (but mainly I am thinking of you) I will go and plant one of the roses that my grandfather grew and while I am doing that I will offer up a small prayer to the goddess for your grandma…

lots of love Kim xxx
2 Lightening March 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm: (((HUGS))) Kelley. At least it didn’t drag on like you feared. I know it feels bad to think of her being alone but I’m sure she slipped away peacefully without knowing.
3 Stimey March 8, 2008 at 4:02 pm: I’m so sorry.
4 Laurie Joyce March 8, 2008 at 5:23 pm: Dear Kelley, please accept my deepest sympathies and virtual hugs. It’s always a difficult time to lose loved ones.
5 Marita March 8, 2008 at 5:35 pm: I’m sorry Kelley.
6 tiff March 8, 2008 at 6:03 pm: Hugs Kelley.

I am thinking of you as you deal with the loss of your Grandma with the same beauty and grace that you always exude.

I know it is so little but hugs to you, my friend, wish that we were not so far away.
7 Ian March 8, 2008 at 6:17 pm: Kelley – I’m so sorry. My condolences to you and your family.
8 Meg March 8, 2008 at 6:23 pm: So sorry Kel. Hugs.
9 Karen (miscmum) March 8, 2008 at 6:43 pm: So sorry to hear that. I was so hopeful last night. Take care xxx
10 Joh March 8, 2008 at 6:49 pm: Sorry for your loss Kelley, take care.
11 Missy March 8, 2008 at 6:57 pm: *Hugs*
12 Casdok March 8, 2008 at 7:14 pm: So sorry, Grandmas are such special people. (H)
13 Caroline March 8, 2008 at 7:33 pm: *hugs* hun.

My thoughts are with u & ur family
14 Bettina March 8, 2008 at 7:49 pm: hugs Kel
15 Simone March 8, 2008 at 8:05 pm: I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. I am sure her spirit will live with you forever. Take care…
16 Robin March 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm: I’m so sorry Kelley.

Maybe she was waiting for a chance to just slip away quietly…
17 Fiona March 8, 2008 at 9:18 pm: Death sucks, no matter how inevitable and how much it brings peace and the cessation of suffering.

Hold onto the memories. Words mean little in times of grief, but you are being thought of.
18 slouching mom March 8, 2008 at 9:39 pm: oh, kelley. i’m truly sorry. i’m thinking about you and sending hugs.
19 A March 8, 2008 at 10:15 pm: I’m not a particularly religious person but I was given a book of prayers by Michael Leunig when my grandmother died – This one helped me.

Dear God,

Give comfort and peace to those who are separated from loved ones. May the ache in their hearts be the strengthening of their hearts.

May their longing bring resolve to their lives, conviction and purity to their love. Teach them to embrace their sadness lest it turn into despair. Transform their yearning into wisdom. Let their hearts grow fonder.

Amen

Hugs from me, too.
20 Jenty March 8, 2008 at 10:44 pm: (((hugs))) Kelley. I’m truely sorry for your loss.

May she rest in peace.
21 Xbox4NappyRash March 8, 2008 at 10:51 pm: My condolences.

I wish you and your family the strength for the trying days to come.

Peace.
22 river March 8, 2008 at 10:56 pm: Sweet poem. Apart from that I have nothing to say. None of my words would be good enough.
23 Gemisht March 8, 2008 at 11:15 pm: Hugs hun. Thinking of you.

And I love the poem, but if you can’t do it credit yet, be patient with yourself, allow yourself to grieve first and then you can truly celebrate her life.

Maybe she chose to go when no-one was there. Maybe that was her plan.

Take care of you in the meantime. Thinking of you as always.
24 em March 8, 2008 at 11:35 pm: Dirge Without Music

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned

With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.

Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,

A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the

love,—

They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled

Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not

approve.

More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the

world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave

Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

Edna St. Vincent Millay
25 GoaldeeBug March 8, 2008 at 11:37 pm: Oh Kel Im so sorry.

My Dad waited until we left for a short time too. It happens a lot, and I believe it is not coincidence.

Im glad that it was peaceful and quick for her.

Much love
26 Babyamore (Trish) March 8, 2008 at 11:54 pm: Kelley – I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother.{hugs}
27 Alison March 9, 2008 at 12:45 am: Kelley

I am so very sorry.

My grandfather passed the same way. He died of alzheimers and parkinsons and waited until my uncle had left and then silently slipped away.

I hope you’ve received some peace and privacy to mourn in your own way. Know that I am thinking of you and your family and your grandma. She sounds very well loved and cared for.

You are too!
28 Maria March 9, 2008 at 1:03 am: It’s my first visit, but I’m very sorry for your loss.
29 Cheryl M March 9, 2008 at 1:50 am: My father left us in the middle of the night while we slept, my mother in a chair by his side, my daughter and I upstairs. I think somehow it is too painful to leave while loved ones are watching. I am so sorry for your loss.
30 ange March 9, 2008 at 3:13 am: I am so very sorry. May you find peace.
31 Candy March 9, 2008 at 3:39 am: Ah, hon, so so sorry. Not much else I can say, but you’re in my thoughts today.
32 Jodie March 9, 2008 at 5:05 am: (delurking)

Oh, I am so sorry. I, too, lost my Grandmother to that awful disease just over a year ago.

It’s such an awful pain, coupled with relief.

Take care of you.

-Jodie
33 Guera March 9, 2008 at 5:34 am: So sorry, Kel. At least it didn’t drag on, because as much as we hate to wish for a quick end, it is much better for her, and for all the family. There’s no more pain for her now, and soon the time will come when you can celebrate her life, not focus on her passing.

Big hugs xxxx
34 lceel March 9, 2008 at 5:52 am: I wish I could be there to give you a real hug, to comfort you, to hold YOUR hand. Know that we pray for you, and we pray for her soul.

Lou
35 Sorrow March 9, 2008 at 8:25 am: Peace, tears and love,

be good to you…
36 Angel March 9, 2008 at 10:01 am: Lovely poem.

Hugs to you my lovely

xxx
37 Anja March 9, 2008 at 10:44 am: My dear, sweet one.

Your Grandmother didn’t pass away alone. She was loved, and love has no distance. Your thoughts, your love, your care… they were always with her and they were with her when she passed.

Mourn her passing, remember her with love.
38 jen March 9, 2008 at 10:58 am: Oh, Kelley, I just wish I could hold your hand right now. I’m so sorry.
39 kate March 9, 2008 at 12:55 pm: I am so sorry to hear of your loss.. I have been thinking of you.

I also have another story of a loved one waiting to be alone… my DH’s Nan died this past New years eve.. we had all been with her all day but it was not until everyone went home to eat and come back that she had the peace she obviously needed to quietly pass….
40 magpie March 9, 2008 at 1:43 pm: Oh, hon. Thinking of you.
41 Scrappydo March 9, 2008 at 3:08 pm: I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family just now. Take care.
42 Jayne March 9, 2008 at 6:25 pm: So sorry to hear of you losing your grandmother.

(((((hugs)))))

Thinking of you.
43 Katie March 9, 2008 at 7:15 pm: I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family during this hard time. *hugs*
44 Tara March 9, 2008 at 9:55 pm: My thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time.
45 anonymum March 9, 2008 at 11:10 pm: getting here late yes, but know i feel for your loss very deeply…these things are never easy, no matter what we say…indeed smile that she has been..many lives were obviously enriched because of her being…
46 Snoskred March 10, 2008 at 1:29 am: Sometimes they wait until they are all alone because that is the way they want it, Kelley. My Grandmother did that.

They know they were loved regardless of who was there at that moment. They do. But there are some things independent people are determined to do on their own and leaving when nobody else is there can be one of them. I guarantee you, if your aunt hadn’t gone home she would have waited till your aunt needed to go to the bathroom.

Ours is not to reason why. Maybe they’ll explain it to us when we meet again.

I’d say I’m sorry for your loss if I believed they left us. The older I get, the more certain I am that they are always with us. I’m sorry for your sadness at this brief parting but I know you’ll be together sometime in the future – we all will.

And when we meet them again, they won’t be suffering from Alzheimers – I know from personal experience is a heartbreaking thing to watch a loved one suffer from that illness.

Cheers,

Snoskred
47 Sueblimely March 10, 2008 at 9:38 am: So sorry to hear your news, Kelley, although it is a blessing that her suffering is over. I know that thought although comforting in some ways does not help us in the loss we feel, only time does that – a good cry can do the world of good too.
48 magneto bold too! March 10, 2008 at 10:37 am: Thank you my lovelies for all the kind thoughts and condolences.

I <3 every single one of you.

I am sure you understand why I have not responded to everyone individually, but I cherish all of your words, and will be around to visit your blogs ASAP.

Thanks again.
49 warriorwoman March 10, 2008 at 11:35 am: sorry
50 Laura March 10, 2008 at 11:59 am: Big hugs. The death of a close Grandma really sucks.

Maybe she was skipping as she slipped away, returned to her faculties, and relieved it was over. That’s how I like to think of my Nanna, who died from a brief illness on top of dementia.

Keep breathing. It only hurts cos you love her…
51 Beth March 11, 2008 at 5:52 am: Sending you huge hugs right now…
52 Gina March 12, 2008 at 4:53 am: I’m so sorry about your Grandma. I’m sorry I’m so late with this, I thought I had already commented.

She knows that you loved her dearly, and that she was loved by her family, that is the most important thing.
53 Coast Rat February 22, 2009 at 2:59 am: I am so sorry about your Grams, Kel. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} and warm thoughts your way.

Coast Rat’s last blog post..Another Mississippi Mardi Gras Parade