hmmmm, that would be fabulous.
Someone to wander around behind me, peeling me grapes and making me coffee. And organising my life.
I have been so busy lately. Things are slipping. The other day I forgot to make my bed. Man that pissed me off, cause I always make my bed. That freaking Flylady has got a lot to answer for in that respect.
And those people that resemble me still keep asking for food and clean clothes and for me to drive them places, unpaid mind you, and shit.
Sheesh. Really cutting into my sitting on my arse staring at the wall time.
There will be a dress code for my secretary. Um, I mean personal assistant.
Oh and a tight fitting tshirt and some sort of pants thing when the kids are home. And a fat suit and balaclava when MPS is home.
Don’t want him bitchin’ about feeling inadequate and stuff.
The bed will be made.
Oh how I love those white sheets…..
He will need to be at my beck and call.
* when the school rings and tells me Boo has wet himself again, and I forgot to send clean clothes with him, again, and would I mind popping down there to rectify the situation……
My PA would have done the washing so I don’t have to scream around like a banshee looking for matching socks. And will be waiting patiently for my return with a steaming hot body latte.
* when the girls inform me that whatever-stupid-school-function is on tomorrow and they desperately need me to make whatever…..
My PA will stay up late into the night baking or sewing or whatever the fuck it is that I have to do, so I can get my beauty sleep.
* when Boo has pissed all over the lounge again, or covered the walls with shit and toothpaste….
My PA will clean it up for me. While I watch. And he is naked…..
* when the phone rings for the eleventy billionth time today….
My PA will take a message. Or tell them to fuck off.
* when my lovelies give me shiny purdy buttons for my blog…….
My PA will collate them, write a personal thankyou note on a naked picture of himself and help me fling the bling to those most deserving.
* when I get home from work………
My PA would have done the housework, paid the bills, organised dinner, picked up the children, organised homework and have coffee and chocolate waiting for me. And rub my feet. And tell me I am wonderful. And gorgeous.
Um. I don’t think I need a PA. I need a wife.
Most most of all, after reading back this, I think I know what I need.
And it involves teen daughters going to bed earlier. And chocolate body paint.
{ 26 comments }
*shivers* I had to re-read this post so many times. My comprehension sucks when my tongue is hanging out of my head.
then she emailed us to start a “drop the towel” petition in your comments!
Now where can I find me an ass……ahem…… assistant like that? Where is that hubby of mine ………….
*wanders off to find a washer for her hubby to wear when he gets home*
Body paint – he he he
Would like the PA though.
What would it take to convince you to let me um, borrow your PA? Cuz I could really use a good PA. My bed needs to be um, made. Wink, wink.
So will your assistant personally deliver the Bling???? Cause if he does then everyone will want some bling baaa haaaa haaaa.
When I was on the Committee for the local Soccer Club I told the rest of the committee (all men) that I needed a wife so that I had times to come to the meetings and someone would be doing everything that I needed to do at home. I have NEVER seen half a dozen men look so gobsmacked. It was priceless.
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Anja, wipe your chin
Anja, wipe your chin
Anja, wipe your chin
Anja, wipe your chin
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Drop the towel
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, *wipes chin*
Those sheets are luvverly *dribbles again*
Now to find the Jetstar website.
Anja needs some brown sugar.
……thanks… *skips off to throw the spouse to the ground*
cheers kim
If I had someone to do those things for me I wouldn’t care if he was nekkid or looked like a teletubby.As long as he keeps a supply of chocolates nearby during my staring-at-a blank-wall time.And hot coffee ready for when I “come back to earth”.
hmm, can I have one too? I need more time for blogging and stuff!
You make the bed? That’s so 1950′s.
Oh, ok so the guy’s kinda hot….
Ask your personal assistants if they have any sisters. Oh, and do peeled grapes really go well with coffee?
I hate how peeled grapes make your fingers feel, hee.
I hope your wish comes true and that you take lotsa pictures.
If he can decipher cross-stitch embroidery you can throw him this way !
Oooh! I like your PA. I wouldn’t mind running my hands over that in a passionate frenzy! Oh all right then, I’ll just settle for licking chocolate sauce off it.
Are you hiring him out to friends? Actually no the air fare to get him over here would be a bit much… Sigh. Looks like I’ll just have to buy Mr BC some weights…
Cheers
BC
I’m sending you some memopads in an email. Make sure he uses them.
Oh yumminess. I’m a sucker for nice, uh, arms.
Oh, and Blogger added typepad to their Open ID crap thing, so you should be able to comment if you like!
Smooches right back at ya, babe!
Ooh, I want one of those too. But, wait, what camp is he in?
You almost got me fired, but it was well worth it.
And I’m pretty sure Flylady is a communist or something. How does she think I can clean my house if all I’m going to do for the first two weeks is shine my fucking sink.
Oh, heavens. A PA like that would have to do all the work, because I sure wouldn’t get any done with him around to look at. ;^)
Kelley – you are so ‘HAWT’ today -we are all wet, hot and sweaty. When does he start ? Can we come for morning tea.
With A PA like that I would hire a cleaner to do the cleaning and make her answer the phone.He would be all mine.
Ok a girl can dream …My Dh is my ‘PA’ – well when he is home.Thanks for the reminder
* add chocolate body paint to shopping list
* keep kids up all day so they go to sleep early tonight
Anja: Mine was getting carpet burns looking for the perfect PA…..
Bettina: So did he? Details girl, need details…..
Angel: So would you get him to change nappies?
Redneck Mommy: Well he is ‘making’ my bed right now….. I’ll get back to you.
Gemisht: *smirk* would have loved to be at that meeting.
Widdle Shamrock: *gaffaw*
Kim: hope you didn’t hurt him, in a bad way that is
River: Really? Teletubbies are evil. You have read ALL my posts *snort* you should know how evil they are!
Marilyn: Methinks not a lot of blogging would be done with a PA like that around. Perhaps more a photo blog…
Meg: Oh yes, I am a good little housewife
http://www.magnetoboldtoo.com/2007/11/08/best-mummy-in-the-whole-wide-world/
VE: Like that matters. More to distract him so I can ogle him. Do you want me to send his sister to you? Would you like me to brush her first or do you like the matted Yeti look?
Girl: I won’t be touching the grapes….. will be eating them direct from his navel….
Jayne: *snort* I don’t think so. I don’t think that model comes with actual brains….
Babychaos: Sounds like the perfect Valentines gift. A gift that keeps giving.
Ree: I don’t think he knows how to spell. Or write. Not sure, that wasn’t high on my list of priorities.
Gina: I am with Wordpress. I don’t know why it isn’t working. Will give it another go *smootches*
Magpie: Doesn’t matter to me. I am married *snigger*
Candy: You go to my blog at WORK????? NOT a good idea. What with all the swearing and whatnot…… And Flylady, well as white bread as she is, I think she is on to something. But I won’t be wearing one of her butt ugly vests any time soon….
Bettina: How about a wheelchair? Then he can wheel you into each room to watch in comfort.
Trish: Or what I did last night. Billet the teens out to friends houses and shut Boo’s door with the TV on loud…… Then we had the lounge all to ourselves. And the kitchen. And the hallway……. *snigger*
Hi
I just LOVE your blog. Nah, all your blogs!
I found you via reading ratinacage’s (Anja) blog.
Just started blogging myself for the first time this week. Check it out if you like
I just asked my partner, D, if he would mind if I had a personal assistant like that.
He said that would be OK as all the good looking guys like that are probably gay. Now I have gone off the idea as he may not be at my beck and call at all but at D’s. Mind you it may save me from doing wifely duties.
http://dancestothebeetofherowndrum.wordpress.com/2008/02/14/coven-traditions/
Need your evil help darl…… Please take part and make a difference, lol.
Hey, your PA looks just like mine!
I will most certainly hook you up when my millions arrive. In fact, I might even hook you up WITHOUT the millions, just so I can read the post about it!
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