Boo is home.
Boo ate the rest of his pressure bandage last night.
So I had to go and stock up on more.
Cause a kid gets hungry in the middle of the night.
And nothing hits the spot like a sweaty pressure bandage that has been marinating in a skate shoe all day.
And now he is hungry again.
Boo has a penchant for condiments. Mustard being his personal favourite. Mustard goes with everything.
Even sweaty pressure bandage.
He wants a sandwich. A mustard, tomato ketchup (remember I am raising a little American here) and mayonnaise. And he wants to ‘Do. MY. SELF!!’
So he limps into the kitchen and steadies his wobbly whacked-out-on-pain-meds self on the bench. The freaking medication is NOT slowing the tiny terrorist down today as I hoped it would. Even after consulting with the doctor and upping the dose to get the kid to stop dancing already!
I help him get the bread out of the freezer (his special allergy bread) and pop it in the microwave.
First mistake.
‘ME!!’ he screams as he stumbles across the kitchen to prevent me from closing the door.
So I let him do it.
Then we line up the condiments. Cause it is all about the presentation dontcha know?
First Mustard. Then Ketchup. Then Mayo. With a knife each.
Then they go on the sandwich In. That. Order.
Washing the knife as you go. And wiping any excess on the front of your shirt.
Mustard on one side.
Ketchup on the other.
Sandwich them together and then spread the mayo on the outside…..
Now a sandwich like that is pretty messy. Especially with the ingredients dripping out the sides. But no matter, that is what bedding is for. Wiping your arse and catching condiment spills.
And now he wants a hot dog. Hot dogs are eaten nekkid.
‘Cause condiments are only for sandwiches.
What weird shit does your kid/husband/voices in your head make you eat?
{ 21 comments }
The Feral Beastie throws mustard/horseradish on anything-cheese, pies, toast,if it aint mustard-ed it aint gonna get et!
And then next week he’ll change his mind to something else *sigh*
The Spouse puts mayo in his mashed spud but he’s just weird *snort*
Your patience knows no bounds, woman! The weirdest thing my beloveds love is peanut butter, honey and banana sandwiches. Which actually isn’t too bad. I’m rather partial to a hot dog with mustard and ‘tomato sauce’, never ketchup
I’m sure Boo can be hard work, and at times you must tear your hair out, but how could anyone not fall in love with him? He’s quite the little character! Although I do think he could have broken his foot during the holidays, instead of waiting for school to go back.
Hubby covers everything in sweet chili sauce and puts it between two slices of bread to eat. This includes – mashed potato, pasta, and stew.
My Dad used to eat Vegemite and apple sandwiches. He added apple slices to make the Vegemite sandwiches more healthy.
Nothing weird going on here. Unless you count the time the leftover gravy in the fridge set really firmly and my hubby cut a slice to add to his cold roast beef sandwich.
My sister “Wonderland” has to have mushroom evenly distributed on her pizza. If a slice does not have mushroom on it, she will not eat it.
Her banana must be covered with nutella.
All crusts have to be cut off her bread, but not discarded. They are then dipped into her milk. She likes to hang her head off the lounge to eat her ‘bread bits’ The girl is a freakin’ contortionist.
There has to be ten M&Ms lined up before she will eat them.
Heh, the separate knives. I know that one *nods*
My son cant eat enough tree bark!
My bf doesn`t force me to eat anything (although is mother will try to make me!) but he eats a lot of gross stuff including nato (fermented beans that smell like spew and are all gooey) I don`t mind most things but his mother has forced me to eat things I know I don`t like for example cooked carrot as if her cooked carrot is going to better than all the other cooked carrot I have eaten in my life.
Then again I made him (and many other Japanese friends) eat vegimite. He loves it, all other friends have hated it!
I liked the sandwich story….
Poor Boo – my son eats BBQ sauce sandwiches (or tomato if we have run out) – then there is no BBQ for my Bacon & eggs.
“wiping any excess on the front of your shirt” – Thrifty, saving it for later. The kid clearly has a sound business brain!
Cheers
BC
No weird stuff here, other than PB and banana or PB and jam. BUT, my little brother used to have either tomato sauce or mustard pickle sandwiches – nothing else on them otherwise it would spoil the taste of such wonderful condiments.
Oh, not sure if its weird or not, but I hate cheese on sandwiches. I love it by itself or on crackers, especially if its camembert, but on a sandwich??? Blech.
So glad Boo is saving the rest of the condiments for later. At least there is no wastage
Jayne: Eww. I hate horseradish. Well I hate the smell. I have never tasted it!
Tracey: This is why I think the little bastard is Murphy. But he is so sweet and gorgeous and funny….. just proves that he is devil spawn.
Marita: Vegemite and apple? Sounds like something Too would do.
River: *snort* ‘here have a slice of gravy’ at least you could cut it the same size as the meat for a nice uniform sandwich.
Anja: And tomorrow MY banana will be covered with Nutella. That sounds fantastic!
Casdok: Boo prefers his wood to be turned into furniture first. Or chip bark in the play ground.
Lulu: *snigger* my MIL was the same. But she did it cause she hated me. And the feeling was mutual. Will be emailing you soon re the interview I PROMISE!!!
Babyamore: Mmmmm BBQ sauce on bacon and eggs. Try them with maple syrup instead. Honestly. It sounds gross but it is like sex, sounds ikky but OMG!!!
Babychaos: Good point.
Gemisht: Don’t say the c word. I am trying to wean myself off the c word….. oooooh I want some now….
It is awesome that your son is growing up to be an American. I am SO proud!
One time I went into a restaurant called “Pig and Pancake” and ordered a cheese omlette, clam chowder and a chocolate milkshake. I just made it outside the door while leaving and threw it all up…a nice welcome for other incoming hungry people. It just goes to show that even though you may like a variety of things, you shouldn’t necessarily have them all at the same time.
Bubba loves mayo sandwiches. He’ll also eat 4 pieces of bread stacked together with nothing on them.
Hubby like peanut butter waffle sandwiches (PB with the waffles being the ‘bread’).
I like concoctions. I mixed everything together.
D-H likes tomato sauce and mustard on bread – a hamburger without the cheese or meat apparently
?
Children are fairly “normal” in their eating – just either the same for every meal or it has to look like the box (rice bubbles have to have banana cut up on them and for cornflakes it is stawberries).
Me? Well I still dip my fries in my sundae at Maccas. Developed a taste for peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches whilst pregnant with #1. And my favourite sandwich is beetroot, cheese and mayonnaise.
Or how about s & v chips and chocolate? or peanut m&ms and popcorn?
I’ve got a completely sophisticated pallet. I guess the strangest combination I have is cheese on my fish sandwiches. Or tuna sandwiches.
But I still GAG when I remember how my brother used to eat ::puke:: mayonnaise by the ::puke:: tablespoon from the ::puke:: jar.
Excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth now.
Fab: So you DID build that time machine and impregnate me 9 years ago! I knew it!!! You bastard. Was I like the best you ever had? Scratch that, I was, of course.
VE: I probably would have just thrown up walking IN the ‘Pig and Pancake’. What were you thinking man? Who would eat in a place called that?
Ange: ‘concoctions’ *shudder*
Angel: Sounds like your DH and Boo would get along just fiiiiine! And your mention of s&v chips and chocolate, yeah baby!!!! Mmmmmm
Ree: *snort* our brothers must have gone to the same freak school.
The voices in my head have two things that it insists on. 1) must have two hot dogs. One hotdog must be with ketchup. The other must be with mayo. The ketchup one must be ate first cuz the mayo is the better of the two. and 2) not necessarily an eating thing but more of a drinking thing…I can not in no way whatsoever have a soda out of a can or bottle. It must be placed in a cup with ice. Ice goes in first of course
Oh Boo! I so understand your fixation with American mustard but the mayo?
Noah likes to teethe the threads from his towel and devour them as an entree to dinner.
When I was pregnant with my first I survived on Fettucine Alfredo and Grape soda. AT. THE. SAME. TIME.
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit…
Excellent tip on wiping the knife on the shirt. I’m going to start that in place of paper towels- my first step towards going Green.
My son use to eat plaster off the walls. We had one spot that was about 20cm round. He just keep eating..smothered it in mustard and pepper. He didn’t care…just kept eating. If he was in his cot, he would eat that. Right along all four sides you could see the chewed timber. When we gave it to someone else to use, the dad had to do a complete restoration on it. He couldn’t belive the damage done. Thankfully he now just eats sauce with everything. No more plaster and now more timber painted over twenty years with god knows what paint!
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