But really it is all about me.
So before I start with the linky lovin’ I will tell you a tale.
A tale about the poor fucker that came to my door a little while ago……
I smelt him before he even got to the door. Swimming in cheap cologne, the medallion around his neck blinding me through the window. His shirt open to show his naturally brown emancipated chest. Oh this guy thinks he is hot.
Boo goes racing to the door. Dressed in a too short pj top and a doona in the 30C + heat.
‘Hello HELLO!!!’ he screams as I hightail it to the door before he invites stench man, SM for short, in for a chat.
‘Hello. Um, boy. Is a parent here?’ SM grimaces at Boo who is doing his best impersonation of Batman. Hands on hips with his chest puffed. I must point out here that Boo is taller than SM.
‘Hi what can I do for you’ I say as I gently nudge Boo out of the way and close and lock the screen door.
‘Oh’ SM says as his hand is almost severed trying to get in. ‘I am here to make sure you are getting your electricity reduction as promised by the Federal Government in the last election’
Alarm Bells.
He shows me his ID. A picture of him with ‘Contractor’ on the top. Yeah. Right. Asshat.
‘I just need to see your bills’
Yeah right. What I should of said was ‘Sure buddy, and while I am at it I will show you my boobs as well’ What I did do was play the bimbo card. He he he.
‘Oh, sorry I don’t even know what the bills look like! My hubby (*cringe*) deals with all of that!’
SM’s eyes light up. He thinks he has him a sucker.
‘Well I will just come in and you find them and I will help you out. The people next door weren’t getting their discount either. See here’ he points to a plain looking piece of paper with some numbers on it ‘ you should be paying this and you are paying that’
Yeah whatever buddy. Like I am going to show a complete stranger my bills with my name and details on it.
‘Yeah, well as I said, hubby (*cringe again*) does all that money stuff ‘ I bat my eyelids and twirl my hair, while if he looked closely at my eyes instead at my tits he would have seen the mirth in them ‘ I just spend it, like.’
Fuck I crack myself up.
‘Well surely we can find them’ me makes for the handle on the locked door.
‘No they are in his briefcase. At work. He should be home soon though’
‘Oh’ SM looks dejected. ‘We have a problem then’
‘Yeah I guess we do’ my eyes narrow. He realises that I am not the bimbo I make out to be.
‘So first I am going to ring the electricity company that you claim to be working for and then the police’
Oh how I laughed at how fast his little legs moved his stenchy little body down my driveway….
And no, he wasn’t legit. My neighbour had already called the police.
Hopefully the cops have small enough handcuffs.
SO I have been around to your place
*********
Robin from Around the Island (check out her mixer, *swoon* I have the same one and her name is Mia and I love her)
Kin from Home Of Slightly Cracked Dreams
Ange from Tis My life
Ree from Hotfessional – I am licking your link as I type, which is difficult and dangerous cause I could get electrocuted or somethin’
Gina from Just Another Day – who said she was going to give up blogging for a while and just couldn’t help herself. I hope I had something to do with that what with all the grovelling and tears and snot and shit. Apparently she changed my link but it still goes to the old blog….. see while I am stalking you I am really stalking myself.
Marita from Stuff with Thing. God I love that name…
Stimey from Stimeyland.
Boneblower from Boneblowers world. Hope she forgives me for not giving her first look at the new blog…..
VE from VE’s Fantastical Nonsense. Might wanna get over there quick cause MPS wants a little chat with VE after the comment on the last post. He wouldn’t believe me that you were a girl VE, honest! I was all it stands for Vagina Empty and shit…. So get your sweet yankie butt down the docks. BYO cement….
Kim from Frog Ponds rock. Who hasn’t had a domestic with her daughter Veronica in the comments of this new blog yet…… hmmmm.
Tiff of My Three Ring Circus
Katie of Byootaful
and finally Meg. The awesome Meg from Dipping in the Blogpond. Who spent hours on little ol’ me updating ALL her links. And there were a shit load of ‘em I tell you. Cause she loves me. Smootch Meg.
Fuck me dead that took forever.I hope I didn’t forget anyone!
I am in the process of updating my blogroll, lovingly referred to as Stalking my Stalkers, right now. Be patient. Apparently it is a virtue I have yet to master. While you are here have a look at my sidebar over there on the left. Your left. If you are RIGHT handed then it is the one on the other side…. OK if you hold up your index finger and stick your thumb out the one that looks like an L is your left….. OK? Anyway. I have signed up with Twitter and will be posting little tidbits as the mood strikes. Any time of the day or night. Cause I love being random. In an organised kinda way.
{ 33 comments }
I am feelin no love but that’s the general scent in the air these days. Crap.
Sheesh, cannot beleive that conman!! Great stuff playing the bimbo card, though. Love it! Thanks for the linky lovin´ BTW.
*pouts*
Yes, you’re there! (my fault, it was on my to-do list, which is getting ever longer)
BTW – I hate those creepy contractor guys. gross
Ok. I’m an idiot.
I updated my bloglines and not my blogroll.
Done now!
Haha… that’s priceless, and cruel. Good for you. Conmen deserve everything they get. Well, maybe not everything, but almost.
I updated your listing DAYS ago. I had to go back and check, though, I figured I probably dreamt doing it. That’s usually the case when I remember being efficient.
Well, I think I’d LOVE to be on your blogroll too… I have you on mine. And actually, I have you twice… once for the old and once for the new.
I must have a fiddle with my Bloglines to sort that out.
I updated my bloglines, does that count? You want me to update my blog AS WELL? Slave driver.
Okay, okay, I’m going. It’s done. Happy?
Love the bimbo act.
Loved the bimbo act,hehehehe. Slimey little turd *shudder*…
cheers kim
p.s It was not a Domestic… hehehehe
Oh how i wish i was a fly on the wall for that one Kelley LOL
LMAO.
Ooh, and did you see the badge? I finally loaded it (and spent another hour photoshopping the right url on it). Hehe – yes, I must love you
(ps thanks for the stumble)
That is just freaky. What was this guy going to do with your electricity bill? Steal your identity? Or did he have some kind of electricity bill fetish?
There was no domestic! It was a small amount of snippiness.
Wow, I can’t believe you get slimy guys like that. What a bastard! Did the cops end up picking him up?
Also the twitter thing? Don’t get him to change to B. There is always the chance that B will be higher.
I don’t understand twitter at all.
I’m on your blogroll? COOL! I’m on your blogroll!
Thanks for the lurve, thanks for the SM laugh!
You bimbo, you!
Good job you were on the ball!
Girl: You knows I luvs ya. Change your blogroll and let me know!
Guera: I know! He was so smarmy and ‘the chicks love me’ I wanted to puke. MPS wishes he was home. He lurves that sort of thing.
Karen: You will be in the next update, promise…
Frogdancer: Sweet! And loving your new digs!
Naomi: Thanks babe. Now I know I will add you asap.
Deeleea: Double lovin’. Loves me some double lovin’
Missy: I do bimbo really well. And I can do Kim from Kath and Kim when the need arises. And apparently slave driver
Kim: Yeah it was *snort* and I loved it.
Chandelle: Still makes me giggle the look on the slimeballs face.
Meg: You are awesome. More than awesome. Thanks for sending the updated bling to me. Will chuck it on ASAP.
Riayn: Honestly I think it was more a get your details and sell em scam.
Veronica: B was higher. And louder. And infinitely more annoying…
Tiff: Bimbo is fun. But only if you know you are not one
Casdok: I don’t trust anyone like that.
Hey, I finally worked out how to make my blogroll APPEAR. I am such a jeeniuz
oooo well done girl! Smarmy bastards deserve everything they get. Hmmmm I haven’t had a good contractor/salesman/jw visit for a while…….. oh thats right! The jw’s are scared of me now! lmao
Hubby is shaking his head at your fabulous shoe bling………. see? I told ya he had taste in his arse!
My first post & last look … SWMBO (She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed) mentioned I’d get some waves … I’m blown away (pardon the pun) …
My work here is done.
BTW – Fix ‘Magneto bold family’ will ya? Much prefer MPH to DH (even if it could stand for ‘My (your) Personal Slave’) …
Love, chocholate & shoes to all
Mario
I’ve graduated!!! Where’s my cap and gown – I want a cap and gown – find me a cap and gown!!! If I’ve finally made it onto your blogroll I want the ceremony – pleeeeeeease
Sure this guy was really after your paperwork *smirk*??? He could have been casing the joint or you!! Lucky you know how and when to play your cards right. Mum always said, “you’ve got to know when to put the ‘dumb’ blonde (not referring to all blondes) on whilst aiming your foot at their groin”! Good kicking luv
Awesome job on the con man. You’ve got beauty AND brains!
ewwww. sleezy conmen. *shiver*
Bubba would’ve had the guy in my house playing construction vehicles before I even heard the doorbell.
I get the feeling this happen a lot in japan. Not so much door to door but by phone.
My partners mum once got a call from a guy pretending to be her `younger son` (my bf) saying he needed money fast because he had gotten someone pregnant.
I kid you not. People try that here (and some people even fall for it!)
The MIL played it cool said ` ok ok i will send you money` hung up and took phone off the hook!
I love living in a foreign country because i look like i don`t speak the language but do…..so when people come to the door (Like NKK (similar to SBS i suppose) tv people) asking for money (NHK comes asking for money every 6 months saying if you have a tv you have to pay…..totally illegal but people still pay) I pretend I don`t speak the language……comes in handy A LOT!
What a sleaze though! I never realized that happened in Aust! Nice job!
You should have at least conned that guy to take out your trash or mow your lawn or something useful before you scared him off LOL
By the way, I’m getting my cement today. I can’t wait to build sculptures with MPS down at the docks! It’ll be so much fun
Sadly, because I am a bad bloggy friend, I didn’t know until about 5 minutes ago that you’d upped and moved.
I have you fixed on my blogroll now.
Can’t believe you moved and didn’t even tell me (sniffle).
He sounds really creepy! Well done for spotting the fake!
My mother yelled at a missionary who had the temerity to ring her doorbell.
I fixed my blogroll to reflect your lovely new home.
What a slimy creep! Playing the bimbo card is a great idea.
Oh wow, that is dodgy! Here’s hoping the police get him. It’s sad but some people actually fall for that.
We’ve had a few dodgy critters at the door, but not the stinky kind lol.
They get the “nothanksnotinterestednowbuggeroff” line we can prattle in our sleep.
Screen door is ALWAYS locked here.
Another reminder why I just ignore the doorbell….
Wow, that ne’er-do-well had some nerve! Good for you for handling him so adeptly!
Shit, I showed someone like that my bill, I am a bimbo!!! He at first made out that he was from some sort of official authority – but in general terms.
Turns out he was from one of the power companies trying to get me to switch over. Well at least I think he was legit. He showed me some details of charges but did not have a copy to leave with me!
I played the ‘but I am only the little women around here and my partner deals with that sort of thing’ part.
He grudgingly left.
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