I am all weepy and sooky girly today.
No reason.
Just wanna cry.
Got to work this morning and S asked me what I have done with my hair today. It looks different, says he.
I take that as: ‘What the fuck is going on with that rats nest on your head woman! You are in some dire need of some hair dye/a hairbrush/a total head transplant!’
Diesel lets me know that my Humur Blogs application was rejected because I didn’t follow the procedures and put the button on my blog. With profuse apologies.
I take that as: ‘Excuse me? You think you are funny? Here is the link for the dictionary definition of funny, best you read that. And while you are at it I am entering you in the Darwin Awards…..’
I casually mention that I am in a bad mood and ‘steer clear or this biatch is gunna blow’ to my friends, family and workmates. They all ask me if I have my period. Well yes. Yes I do. SO WHAT!!?!?!?!
I take that as: ‘You psycho chick. Looks like you are going through Menopause real early. Nice knowing you, we are all going on extended vacation. And if you call and it sounds like we pick up, that is just the housesitter…..’
A couple of people suggest watching a sad movie when I admit that I just feel like crying. I feel sad. With. No. Reason.
I take that as: ‘ Put a movie on loud. That way the neighbours won’t hear your screams when you start stabbing yourself in the temple with an icepick to dull the pain. And hopefully induce some tears.’
MPS comes home takes one look at me and suggests he pick up takeaway for dinner.
I take that as: ‘You useless fat cow. Sitting there on your fat arse. Lets fatten you up and see if those udders can produce milk.’
Boo plays this:
Or click here.
Over and over and over. He has played it so much that my foot is tapping even when he pauses it for a minute and I know all the words off by heart. He has taken to placing his laptop right near my head.
I take that as: ‘I will play this over and over until Mummy loses her mind and starts to cry.’
Yeah. That’ll do it.
Feel better now.
Now where is the fucking chocolate.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Bloody hell, sounds like you’re having a tough one. I hope it wears off – or you find somebody you can kill without recourse – soon!
Cheers
BC
Sheeit. Eat some chocolate, followed by a latte and then have some more chocolate. There are just some days when you want to strangle people with your fallopian tubes. Life sucks on those days. Weep away and raise your middle finger at the world. *hugs*
The Ultimate Showdown used to be the most requested song from women on our radio show…
I have a vegie garden where you can hide the bodies 😉
I was really trying to think of something sympathetic and yet witty to say, but my mind is stuck on trying to visualize how one would strangle someone with their fallopian tubes.
Anja paints such incredible word pictures….. it leaves me in awe!
HUGE hugs Kelley, sending much virtual chocolate, coffee and ear muffs your way
(catchy song btw)
Hey! We’ve virtually synched our cycles! Kewl. Have a tissue and pass the chocolate.
Yep chocolate and crying and the odd shout works wonders.
My suggestion….
tonight drag a mattress out to the cubby house and sleep there. A full night’s sleep…..
better than chocolate.
Better yet, take some chocolate with you.
Chocolate and coffee. Also? (((hugs)))
Smootches…Sweety Big Big Smootches..
xoxox Kim
p.s I only listened to the clip once and the chorus is stuck in my head… *sigh*
They say friends sympathize with your situation – true friends help you hide the bodies…………..so, do I need to bring a shovel to Jayne’s or are we headed to the State forest???
Annoyingly catchy tune 🙁 why do they have to spoil everything? Big hugs xox
Hugs.
Hope today is a better day for you.
Eat as much chocolate as you want but make sure you wash the excess off your fingers before you kill anyone, can’t leave any fingerprints lying around.
Crap. That’s being girly? What’s my excuse when I get like that, then?
Well… good luck with all that. Take good care.
ugh. I hate those days. Not going to say anything else because you wouldn’t interpret it right anyhow in your piss poor mood. 😛
I pulled myself off humor-blogs…I have no interest pimping it and I’d just sit down in the 400s of the list if I didn’t pimp it a lot. No thanks.
Have some chocolate for me too…it’s raining here…again!
Honey – I went out on the weekend and deliberately, with PREMEDITATION, borrowed Steel Magnolias from the video shop just so I could have the excuse to have a good cry.
And I did. And it felt wonderful.
I hope you feel better soon xxx
So sorry to hear you are having one of those. Put away the ice pick and grab a container of some Hagen Daz and go to town!
Those days are tough. I’m so sorry. I have them too.
If it makes you any happier, I nominated you for a Bloggie for Best Australian Blogger.
You can take that as: I <3 you!
I can only echo – all the witty things have been taken.
I <3 you too and I gave you some linky love … as if you need with all these friends willing to help you bury the bodies and all.
hey have some more chocolate and Merlot.
Hope you feel better soon and you get some decent sleep.
You honesty is refreshing by the way.
LOL! Great Post…I have been there…My little sons fav game right now is to sink his tiny new teeth into my hand…shoulder….boob…while yelling NO NO at me at the top of his lungs cause he didn’t get his own way…(did I mention he is only 11 months old?????