Today we went out to lunch.
At a restaurant that didn’t ask if you wanted fries with that. Well, they asked if we wanted garlic bread and if they didn’t the sign said that they would give it to us for free.
But it had cutlery and shit. So as restauranty as we Magneto Bolds get right now.
We took up a large table with all the relatives left over from my Dads party the day before.
Boo, still showing the effects of the ear infections, ulcerated throat, antibiotic overload and ripping out one of his teeth
because it was bothering him, was still in anti-Autism mode. So we took the plunge to do something normal……
He he he. Some would call me delusional….. you would be right.
Food was ordered. Gasps were heard over the prices of the steak ($30!!!!). Bodily functions were discussed.
Yes, we are White Trash.
As we were a large table, the food came out in waves. Of course Boo was last. How hard is it to serve the kid first? All he ordered was a freaking bowl of chips.
The kid was on his 2nd glass of kiddie crack lemonade when his bowl finally came out. He inhaled them he was so hungry.
‘Excuse me waiter! Hey garcon!’ my little angel bellowed complete with clicking his fingers in the general direction of the kitchen ‘More chips please!’
‘No Dude, you have had enough’ I finally spluttered after almost choking on my chicken and having to pick my Auntie off the floor where she was writhing with mirth.
‘Oh’ my dejected little connoisseur muttered.
The waitress walked past after serving another table.
‘Excuse me server!’ he bellowed again ‘I need more lemonade. Oh, and pleeeeeeaase!’
He beamed at me. Proud for using his manners.
The woman glared at him and then me and walked away.
Now this classy establishment is a place where you go to the counter, order your meal and then they bring it to the table. There is no table service.
Unless you put your feet on the table. Then you get lots of table attention. But that was our previous visit.
I took Boo up to the counter to order a lemonade. That is when I discovered that he had taken off his shoes….
and his pants.
Hmmmm.
OK, back to the table. Redressed and back to the counter. He ordered his drink and we wandered back to the table where Mario-porn-star had started the political discussion that I warned him not to before we arrived.
Warned is probably not strong enough a word. More like talk-about-the-election-and-I-will-tape-electrodes-to-your-testicles-while-you-sleep threat. My family gets rather heated when it comes to all things political. And it doesn’t help that we are on very different sides of the fence.
I glared at Mario-porn-star, he clutched his testicles and Moo turned to Too and laughed. My girls have learnt early the way to strike terror in a mans heart.
We paid the bill, lamented that it was half my grocery bill for the week and made our way home.
No tears. No tantrums. No balls in a vice.
A total success! Well for our family anyway.
We are all still full from lunch so we are having a light dinner.
And Boo is eating a stick he found in the garden. Tasty.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
It sounds like you had a good time. Yay for going out!
Excellent.. at 30 dollars for a steak I think procreation would have been discussed as well as bodily functions ..LMAO..
OMG! That sounds like when we go out, except without the pulling of the tooth and the shoeless, pantless child…or the mirthful Aunt. Actually it doesn’t sound like us at all. You guys are WAY more fun!
Can you adopt me? LOL.
Sounds like a fun event… but glad it went ok for you…
Glad all those good vibes worked for you and it wasnt too bad for you.
🙂
Veronica: It was lovely. Even with a semi naked child.
Kim: Thank God I don’t like steak huh?
Tiffany: Could be interesting adopting you and explaining that one. But hey, I am up anyway with Boo so we can tag team with him and Ivy!
Lisa: You FIA girls are my saviors!
Aww, sounds like such fun!
We’ve just started down the road of The Cultery Restaurants ourselves, LOL. Prior to my birthday a couple of months ago takeaway night was Maccas, KFC or Pizza Hut. Then we went out for my birthday to Fasta Pasta – the whole five of us – and the kids were so well behaved we vowed to make it a regular gig. So what if we can only eat out half as often now? LOL (In actuality, Fasta Pasta is pretty good value…) We read the riot act to the kids so many times (and then double that for J) they just rolled their eyes. Of course it probably helped that we threatened them with Screen Free Days (no electronic ANYTHINGS – no TV, DVD, stereo, handheld games, computer, Playstation, not even a calculator (because they tried to get a hit from one of them once when the rest of the stuff was taken away from them). I only have to mutter through clenched teeth “Screen. Free. Days.” and they shut right up.
Of course I don’t know who is punished more – them, or me, who has to listen to the whinging all freakin day long because they’re bored. Sigh.
Cheers,
Lizzie
http://lizzieshome.blogspot.com/
I’m sorry, but you would have had to pick me up at the same time up picked up your Auntie. 😉
Yes remaining dressed in a restaurant is a challenge for us too. I like his manners anyway. In my limited experience all food is really finger food.
Cheers
Sounds like a great success! 🙂
Wow…I had no idea there was such a thing as Australian white trash…
Live learn.
Except for the funny accents, that could have been dinner with my in laws.
Kin: It was lovely. Still burbing garlic though!
Lizzie: My girls were fine, but that is cause they are teens and didn’t want to draw attention to themselves, LMAO. I used to take Boo to restaurants all the time from 18mths to get used to waiting but got out of the habit. He was amazing, sitting and waiting.
Ree: Normally I would be laughing too but I was so SHOCKED! I have no idea where he got that from. Kid better run FAST if he tries that on at home!
mcewen: 🙂 nice to know someone else has the same issue. wanna come out to dinner with us? LMAO
Boo doesn’t use cutlery either. Well he holds it in one hand and eats with the other.
Beth: It was. Should we tempt fate and do it again?
Fab: Boo has an American accent. So I guess that is what you mean by funny accents? So your inlaws are naked at the table, or is that you? 🙂
Oh. My. Gosh! What fun! I’m in stitches laughing at this … I feel like I was there with you!
This sounds great. And hilarious, per usual.
We must remember to NEVER take yours and mine out together!!