So my husband (DickHead today) crawls out of his death bed, has a shower and seems all happy and bouncy.
I’m all I-said-no-Movember-boy when he shows me how much better he is feeling.
So I send him out to get sanitary napkins for his daughters *snort*
As he is pulling out the driveway I call ‘Get me a present for looking after your sick arse all week!’
Hmmm, flowers would be nice.
Maybe some decadent treat for me to nibble while begging the tiny terrorist to just sleep just a little…
A voucher to my favourite shoe store?
No.
He walks in. Swaggers almost.
‘Gimme my present!’ I yell like a five year old.
He saunters up to me. A huge smile on his face.
And he bought me this.
Fucking Arsehole.
And he actually said, before I put his testicles in a choke hold,
‘So do I know what my wife likes or what?’
No DickHead. They are your daughters favourite…….
{ 10 comments }
Give the guy a break. He actually went to the store and bought tampons. Maybe you want him to do a little dance with them as well?
Nah, tampon crafts! If you want the url let me know!
I am laughing so hard! I was expecting him to bring you lingerie in the hope of a little love.
Oh and all fathers should buy tampons for daughters if they need them. It is in the parents rule book.
Hah, that’s why I live with a cat.
Hmm, but he bloody brings me mice and lizards.
Bugger, clearly males are all the same, even when it crosses species lines…
What is it with men? When they are asked to purchase a present for their beautiful, hard working wives, they think food is the answer?!?!?!? To their hearts maybe.
And if they don’t bring food, they bring nothing because… ‘you didn’t tell me what you wanted’. Hello? If I tell you, it’s not a gift.
rofl Kelley!! My hubby gets the kids favourites or his, but rarely mine! lmao!
And I dunno Tiffany……. I still consider it a gift even if I tell him what I’d like. Better to get something than nothing or a whole heap of disapointment!
Still, though. Chocolate chip cookies. It’s not like he brought tarantula chip scorpions, which would be grounds for divorce and also a beating.
Men, what’s with them? Do we always have to spell it out? I love that you sent him to buy feminine protection for the daughter. That is hilarious. My hubby would just do it and act like “no big deal” just to aggravate me. I’d have to think of something else to get his goat after me serving him hand over foot while he lays on his death bed. Which very recently happened by the way.
So glad you left a comment on my blog and so glad we have found each other. I love to leave comments as well….can you tell??
Oops. Try again, dude.
(At least he didn’t bring you chocolate chip cookie DOUGH and expect you to make the cookies!)
Veronica: No lingerie in Movember
Deeleea: I had a boyfriend who had a cat that hated me. He finally accepted that I was there to stay so brought me a present. A rats head. In the bed. Just like a certain movie….. methinks the cat had ulterior motives.
Tiffany: Yeah, my husband only ever brings me food. Guess he is trying to fatten me up further?
Bettina: Oh I learnt early on, if I want a birthday or Xmas present I better buy it myself, wrap it and chuck it under the tree. But this year, OMG, he remembered my birthday!
Contrary: I am beginning to think you are on his side……. Everything he does = bad, me = faaaaabulous capice?
mystarbucks: I could stare at your Avi all day….. we don’t have Starbucks here in hicksville. Sigh.
Slouching Mom: Good point. Good point….
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