Random header image... Refresh for more!

To Moo on your 16th birthday

by Kelley

in Letters

I can’t bear it. Just the thought of you being 16 makes me all weepy.

I look at you and I see a woman. We laugh, we joke, we share. Just like girlfriends. But then you look sad and my heart breaks. You attempt to curl up in my lap and I am transported back to when you were a little girl. Not someone 2 inches taller than me.

Last night, as usual, I wrapped my arms around you from behind. I put my face on your cool back and I could feel your heart beating. I hugged you tighter. Growing up is hard. But I didn’t realise how hard it would be for me. If I hug you from behind I can still pretend you are my little girl. The other way around I am suffocated by the physical evidence of you growing up.

I love our chats. Just sitting in the lounge, while I’m cooking dinner, driving in the car. I love that you tell me all the little things that have happened or what’s going on at school (see the apostrophe in ‘what’s’? You little grammar nazi? 🙂 ) and that you don’t feel like you need to ‘edit’ it for a parental. Just easy conversation. Something I wished I had with my mother. But sometimes I find it hard to fight the mummy instinct. Sometimes the primal lioness protecting her cubs rises up in me and I want to fight the world to protect you from any hurt. But I can’t. Your ‘boo-boo’s’ now cannot be fixed with a kiss and a bandaid.

But I am always here for you. I am always on your side. I breathe for you.

My first born. I was still so very much a little girl when I had you. 19 years old and thought I knew everything. Then you came along. We have grown up together.

I know sometimes you resent the fact that you need to ‘break me in’. You being my first child, you are the one that needs to test the waters and teach me to let go. I am too protective. I recognise that. But I think that also comes from the fact that my teenage years are still so clear, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. But you are a different person to me, more wise, more intelligent, more switched on. When you were born the nurses said ‘This one has been here before’, I thought them delusional.

Now I am not so sure.

You are so loving and caring to your siblings. No matter how much they drive you to distraction you forgive them anything. Boo has turned your life upside down, but you still turn to me and say ‘God, I love that kid’. That makes my heart swell with pride. Not because you love your brother, but because you see past the negative and honestly know that he means no harm. You see the good in him. You are not embarrassed when he screams the place down in a crowded store, you are more concerned about his welfare. I cannot say that I would have been the same at your age. You are much more mature than me.

Moo, your smile ignites my heart. Your happiness is my happiness. Your sorrow is mine, two fold. I tell you every day how much I love you, they are not just words.

You are an amazing wonderful person and I am so proud to say that I am your Mum.

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.

Love,

Mummy

xx

***************

side note:  To see the letter to Too for her birthday look under ‘letters’. 

There will be a letter to Boo tomorrow. 

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Tagged as: 227, 266, 298, 309

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Veronica October 26, 2007 at 8:16 am

Happy Birthday Moo!

This post made me all teary.

Reply

2 Priscilla October 26, 2007 at 8:55 am

Happy Birthday Moo from one of Mum’s *pretend friends* LOL.

I got goosebumps and teary eyes reading that.

I hope that you and Moo have a wonderful day celebrating her 16th.

Reply

3 slouching mom October 26, 2007 at 12:29 pm

That is a wonderful, heartfelt, loving, touching letter. Thanks for sharing it.

Reply

4 Mr. Fabulous October 26, 2007 at 1:19 pm

What a sweet, beautiful post.

Awesome!

Reply

5 Kelli October 26, 2007 at 9:55 pm

What a special gift for Moo. You warm my heart with the way you are able to tell your kids how you feel.

Hope she had a special day

Reply

6 Bettina October 26, 2007 at 10:50 pm

You are one very special mum. Happy Birthday to Moo!!

Reply

7 Robin October 27, 2007 at 5:59 am

This made me cry.

Happy birthday Moo.

Reply

Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post: Boo v’s my sanity….. there can only be one winner.

Next post: Angst, angst, angst…

  • subscribe




  • validate










  • socialise







  • search for more awesomeness

  • Load More...
    Follow on Instagram
  • hello lover
  • archival awesomeness

  • awesomeness tied up neatly

    • a mind is a terrible thing to waste (240)
    • Anatomy of a brain fart (17)
    • Audrey (2)
    • aussie bloggers conference (3)
    • Autism (171)
    • awards and memes (13)
    • awwwwwwwwwwwwww (8)
    • baby socks up your twat (7)
    • Barney is my God (2)
    • birthdays (51)
    • bitch be crazy (130)
    • Bizzare searches (3)
    • Blah Blah Blah (87)
    • blogging (98)
    • chocolate and coffee (6)
    • Christmas (89)
    • chronic as fuck (26)
    • comments from the Dude (12)
    • cracking my own shit up (15)
    • cracking my shit up (40)
    • dissing the fuck out of dysautonomia (28)
    • Duuuuuude (5)
    • Easter (18)
    • Easter Bunny brings me presents? (6)
    • Easter decorating (5)
    • elsewhere. Just as awesome. (16)
    • finding my happy (14)
    • Flying thru the mayhem (57)
    • foul mouthed tutorials (19)
    • freaking the fuck out (34)
    • funstuff (121)
    • gastroparesis can suck it (31)
    • going to hell who is bringing the cheese? (24)
    • Guest biatches (38)
    • Happy happy joy joy (51)
    • Harry Potter Party (12)
    • hmmmmm (37)
    • I get by with a little help from my peeps (19)
    • I haz a sad (9)
    • I'm a biatch (32)
    • kids (37)
    • Letters (12)
    • linky lovin' (3)
    • lite n easy (2)
    • lovin' on my peeps (15)
    • me (1)
    • meh (19)
    • memey shit (4)
    • menu planning (3)
    • moments in mothering (15)
    • NaBloPoMo (18)
    • nerf bullets will survive the apocalypse and the world will be inhabited by cockroaches toting nerf guns (2)
    • oh the horror (7)
    • OVerheard in Magneto Bold Land (1)
    • posts that are really messages to my husband (10)
    • proof yet again that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet unsupervised (57)
    • ramblings (87)
    • ranty mcrantypants (12)
    • sadness (28)
    • serious shit (72)
    • so sweet I could vomit (13)
    • Stuff about Boo (85)
    • Sunday Breakfast (3)
    • techie stuff (2)
    • teletubbies are from the devil (12)
    • that was stupid. (11)
    • things that are awesome (14)
    • things that irriate me (30)
    • Things that make you go hmmmmm (18)
    • Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard (16)
    • things that piss me off (79)
    • this shit is fucked up (46)
    • tiny pieces of my mind (37)
    • Uncategorized (96)
    • whiney mcwhinerson (92)
    • WTF? (64)

Get smart with the Thesis WordPress Theme from DIYthemes.

WordPress Admin