and women have 3 holes way down there… you should totally send your kids here for anatomy education.

by Kelley

in bitch be crazy,cracking my shit up

I admit I totally thought that.

It is not as if I watch guys urinate.

The SOUND is bad enough.

Maybe I should make those collars like they do for dogs with stitches for tally-whackers to contain the pee spray and reduce the amount of bleach I need to use.

I am so full of good ideas.

I think I just inadvertently saved the whales.

Yet, still no Australia Day medal.

I am almost as disappointed as you.

{ 9 comments }

Susan

Please send all your love to one of the most truly beautiful and caring people on the internet, my friend Susan aka WhyMommy aka Toddler Planet. I could never give her amazing story justice so you need to go over there and read all about her awesome self. Scientist. Teacher.  Dreamer.  Advocate.  Awesome mother and [...]

8 comments continue →

How do you do it?

I am, as a whole, an anonymous blogger. I don’t talk about my blog, I don’t hand out business cards, nor do I encourage my kids school friends mums to read my drivel. My parents don’t know about my blog.  They think I get free shit for filling in online surveys and blogging conferences are [...]

47 comments continue →

Lonely

For the first time in his life I think Boo is lonely. He sits out in the yard with this bubbles, his lawn chair pointed towards the child care centre two houses down and listens to the kids play. And hopes that the kids over the fence come outside. We go out shopping or for [...]

15 comments continue →

Where I go all Mummy Bloggin’ up in here. Alternative title: We got us some Wensleysdale and Boo is losing his shit.

{TWO posts in one day… it could be the end of the world. It could be Chinese New Year – we are having Peking duck for dinner OMG YUM. Or it could be I just posted this morning and then other shit happened that you need to know} Today we took Boo on his first [...]

12 comments continue →

This totally made me do that high pitched wheezing laugh that your crazy uncle used to do when you were a kid. And now I know why.

words are funny. Rate this post biatches.Awesome (2) Fabulous (2) WTF (0) Day-um (0) Suckage (0)

15 comments continue →

I hardly see what this has got to do with mythical creatures from Harry Potter now… oh, you didn’t mean Hippogriff? Hypocrite … ahhh rightio then…

I have the best trolls ever. Not only do they entertain me with their tenuous grasp of the English language and their amazingly wonderful names like Kelleysucks and Ihateyou but they also help me earn money by trawling my archives to find reasons to attack me. Because CLEARLY I don’t beat myself up enough. The [...]

27 comments continue →

The internet needs to buy me a house. Single story with a wrap around porch. Double story only if there is a secret escape hatch from the murderers.

{source} Over the years I have unsubcribed from a lot of blogs. Some were just plain boring. Some were annoying. Some made me want to rip out the bloggers throat via their anus. Which is pronounced A-Noos in my head. Bloggers as a whole have pretty fucked up lives.  Hell, that is why we are [...]

63 comments continue →

Cause the world is a better place if we ALL feel like failures… don’t you agree?

Rate this post biatches.Awesome (1) Fabulous (0) WTF (0) Day-um (0) Suckage (0)

23 comments continue →

Delurking Day is upon us again.

According to Chocolate Suze it is de lurking day. I love me a little de-lurking action. The day where you come on over and say Hey or Whatup? or You Suck or where can I send you money/gifts/shoes? So hit me, your burning questions/what you want me to blog about in the coming year/your best [...]

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